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Dong U Dead

Dong U Dead

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Averia Light said :
What you are suggesting is nice and all, but simply not a practical solution. My grandma is, unfortunately, too unpredictable at this time.
Are you talking to me? - and what is not a practical solution??
If fat means flavour then I'm ******* delicious!

20-Nov-2019 22:51:49

Averia Light

Averia Light

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You basically said that others should go see their loved ones even if they have Alzheimer's - including children.

My grandma is unpredictable and violent. My mom even said tonight that she agrees that I should not see her anymore, because she knows I am alone. My kid would come with me if I went to visit. You can't wish the violent, paranoid and unpredictable behavior away and to say it is good to expose a child to this is a stretch. And I swear I'm not going to let her know all the pain I have known

21-Nov-2019 01:32:58 - Last edited on 21-Nov-2019 01:33:48 by Averia Light

ToP BaSS

ToP BaSS

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Its not always the rosy scene of a tranquil family gathering.
Unpredictable violence, unsavoury scenes of an intimate nature, outbursts of uncontrolled shouting, forced restriction of movement, unresponsive silence, and many more scenarios that are very upsetting for the visitors particularly if children are involved.
The best anyone can do is is to check with management staff during the visit to make sure all needs are being met. A quick visit, a hello, maybe a peck on the cheek if things are calm enough.
Never expect the person you once knew to be there - sadly they are often very far away from 'the now'.

21-Nov-2019 04:01:29 - Last edited on 21-Nov-2019 12:33:38 by ToP BaSS

Dong U Dead

Dong U Dead

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Averia Light said :
You basically said that others should go see their loved ones even if they have Alzheimer's - including children.

My grandma is unpredictable and violent. My mom even said tonight that she agrees that I should not see her anymore, because she knows I am alone. My kid would come with me if I went to visit. You can't wish the violent, paranoid and unpredictable behavior away and to say it is good to expose a child to this is a stretch.
It's your choice - I feel if they are well and are having a good day bring in the children.

I worked with Psychiatric Geriatric patients for several years and they weren't violent and abusive every day <- if this is the case and they are violent and abusive every day something is going on, there is something that they feel uncomfortable with, they often can't verbally talk about there concerns or dislikes - just be wary.

One lady in my care didn't like being bathed, her dignity was gone - so every bath time she would verbally abuse you, she had to have a bath so that was that - outside of this time she was hilarious, mostly in a good mood.
If fat means flavour then I'm ******* delicious!

21-Nov-2019 05:50:14

Averia Light

Averia Light

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Dong U Dead said :
Averia Light said :
You basically said that others should go see their loved ones even if they have Alzheimer's - including children.

My grandma is unpredictable and violent. My mom even said tonight that she agrees that I should not see her anymore, because she knows I am alone. My kid would come with me if I went to visit. You can't wish the violent, paranoid and unpredictable behavior away and to say it is good to expose a child to this is a stretch.
It's your choice - I feel if they are well and are having a good day bring in the children.

I worked with Psychiatric Geriatric patients for several years and they weren't violent and abusive every day <- if this is the case and they are violent and abusive every day something is going on, there is something that they feel uncomfortable with, they often can't verbally talk about there concerns or dislikes - just be wary.

One lady in my care didn't like being bathed, her dignity was gone - so every bath time she would verbally abuse you, she had to have a bath so that was that - outside of this time she was hilarious, mostly in a good mood.

My grandma thinks my grandpa is cheating on her every single day now. There are no good days anymore. And since they've been together for well over 50 years, everything is a trigger for her.

It is simply too dangerous. This is a part of what this thread is about, though, to explain what is is really like. And I swear I'm not going to let her know all the pain I have known

21-Nov-2019 10:48:26

Brigantia

Brigantia

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My grandmother had early stage dementia, or possibly Alzheimer's, before she passed. It started to get bad after I moved to Michigan, but I didn't see what was going on in day to day life at the house here.

I just know in the beginning I'd call, and try to speak to her but it was like she was zoning out or something, so she didn't say anything for extended periods, and I'd try to share stories and such of what was going on where I was at, but I wouldn't get any response out of her after the story was finished, which was uncharacteristic of her. I'd spend twenty to thirty minutes trying to talk to her, get a couple of one word responses out of her, and then ask to speak to someone else, as was routine. I guess she got really aggressive and argumentative to my mother and sister over it, but also over other things too. She'd claim I didn't want to talk to her even though I'd just spent quite a bit of time talking to her, or rather at her. It was kinda sad but no one really noticed it.

Not that she would have agreed to see a doctor about it anyway lol

Got an unsigned birthday card from her too, and she NEVER forgot to sign those. So it worried me a lot. Unfortunately, it was passed off as a joke so it wasn't really taken seriously.

According to my mother and sister, she would often either half cook or burn food a lot. Again, very uncharacteristic. So yeah.

She ended up passing away in the hospital after she had a heart attack though, so thankfully it didn't get any worse than it already was.
Arrr! Only th' Devil an' I know th' where'bouts o' me treasure, an' th' one o' us who lives th' longes' should take i' all.


@CapnBrigantia

22-Nov-2019 09:44:01

Averia Light

Averia Light

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It might be difficult to hear, but sometimes things like a heart attack taking them before this disease progresses might be for the best. My father in law died of a heart attack, so I am aware of the impact a sudden death like that has, but, idk, in my experience Alzheimer's is just... worse due to the nature of it.

And, a lot of people don't see what is going on because for some reason this just isn't talked about. Our family included. The only reason we caught my grandma's Alzheimer's early was because my grandpa on the other side of the family had it and we caught that too late.

I'm sorry you went through it though. It really is difficult. And I swear I'm not going to let her know all the pain I have known

22-Nov-2019 13:06:20

Spearmint30
Apr Member 2012

Spearmint30

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Aethel Wolf said :
Thanks for sharing these stories. It will be worth the sticky for the time being. I agree,

This thread has some good messages here which serve to offer both insight on what it's like to experience Alzheimers from the third party perspective as well as raise awareness for Alzheimers.

Thank you to those who have shared your experiences and to anyone who's been through this or who may be going through it now, I sincerely wish you and your families the best. I understand it's not easy and can really have an impact.
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Spearmint30
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22-Nov-2019 16:06:03

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