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Cyun

Cyun

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Thanks for the comment Aeraie, you consistently give feedback and it is very welcome.

I am unsure about the latest poem "Mole Sting", to whether the theme is really understood by the reader (take out the space in the title). Such things are really hard to gage on your own. I guess the only person who truly knows of the core of the poem is the writer of it, as it can be taken so many ways by the imagination of the reader - which isn't a bad thing. Poetry is written to emotionally capture the reader, and I believe that the reason for that spark is irrelevant. Still, the thing should be able to get across the subject.

09-Jul-2012 11:11:25 - Last edited on 09-Jul-2012 11:14:39 by Cyun

Old Gnomish
Jul Member 2023

Old Gnomish

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Ohhhhh. I could see the innuendos, but now that I've pieced the two words in the title as you said to it has become clearer. It's quite confusing, and perhaps the allegory is a bit too hard to see, from a reader's perspective. It is, nonetheless, very, very clever and you're one of the few people daring to write about such...uncomfortable subjects.

I agree with your remark about "emotionally" capturing the reader. There wasn't an emotional attachment in this one for me, unlike "Sipping Starbucks".

Alas, isn't that the core of all poetry? Only the poet knows what they are trying to say; it is probable that sometimes, we read into things too much than the poet actually intended; piece together allegories that were actually never even conjured by the poet.
Snow
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Guildmaster - The Novelists' Guild

09-Jul-2012 11:26:14

Cyun

Cyun

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Hmm, thanks for the feedback Snow. I may alter it in the future to make it a little less obscure. I did try to make the woman seem almost disgusting and make the reader feel detached emotionally by the woman, such as calling her "it" and often times describing her as dirt, in which the mole-man had tunnelled his way through. I have also tried to suggest that it was her fault, with her provocative dressing. So by that, I guess lack of sympathy is a good thing, or perhaps not so - don't ask me!

I have witnessed that, whereby the reader sees too much in a poem than planned by the writer of it. Although, I often times ask myself whether this actually matters or not.

09-Jul-2012 12:15:57 - Last edited on 09-Jul-2012 12:18:04 by Cyun

Old Gnomish
Jul Member 2023

Old Gnomish

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"I have witnessed that, whereby the reader sees too much in a poem than planned by the writer of it. Although, I often times ask myself whether this actually matters or not."

I don't think it does: it's what makes poetry so accessible to everyone. :)

'Old Age Pensioner' is interesting, I like the way his/her life is led routinely and how they can draw comparisons between themselves and other things, such as the grumpiness of the "hooded youth".

Keep 'em coming, Cyun!
Snow
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Guildmaster - The Novelists' Guild

19-Jul-2012 20:01:50

Cyun

Cyun

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That's a good point Snow.

And thank you again for the kind feedback. I'll admit that the line "I leave because he starts talking about Germans again" was an actual quote from my grandmother who said it once to me, and it made me laugh for some reason.

19-Jul-2012 20:37:50

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