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Nildi of Keldagrim

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Dreamweaver
Aug Member 2003

Dreamweaver

Posts: 3,790 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
“Good morning, Nildi!” said the barman cheerfully. “You slept soundly I trust? I have some steaming porridge for you in the kitchen, and I have already sent a messenger to the Wizards' Guild to let them know you request an audience with Secretary Rarve. It is but twenty minutes brisk walk from my doorstep to theirs. I will take you there after breakfast.”

Nildi blinked.

“Thank you. I am most grateful,” Nildi replied, clearly bewildered by so much activity and organization so early in the morning. “Forgive my slowness, but Dwarves prefer the second half of the day to the first.”

After he had consumed his fill of the steaming porridge and a hearty mug of fresh apple juice, Nildi passed a number of gold coins to the barman.

“For your room, your time, your hospitality and your council! But I will give you one more for your name!”

“Goodness, did I never introduce myself?” replied the barman. “I am most sorry. My name is Jongor Smitson, though most call me Jonny. Or ‘Hey you, another pint!’ I answer to most things, come to think of it. But let us walk to the Guild while we talk.”

The journey took more like half an hour at the elderly Dwarf’s pace, during which time Nildi let Jonny make small talk about his business, his regular customers and the damp weather. But soon enough, he was standing outside the main gate on the east side of the Wizards' Guild.

“Thank you so much for everything, Jongor. I am sure we will cross paths again,” Nildi said, shaking hands warmly with the barman.

“My pleasure and my duty, sir. If there is anything further I can do, do not hesitate to ask,” replied Jonny. ‘Now, I will be getting back. Just ring the bell here and someone will be out to see you. Goodbye!”

“Goodbye!”

Nildi turned to the bell and rang it loudly. Then he waited.

After a few minutes he rang it again, louder. He waited a while longer.

~continued~

09-Oct-2006 06:08:46 - Last edited on 24-Nov-2006 09:49:32 by Dreamweaver

Dreamweaver
Aug Member 2003

Dreamweaver

Posts: 3,790 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Then he rapped sharply on the oaken doors with the handle of his knife and called out “Anyone there?” Perhaps wizards followed the same sleep pattern as Dwarves.

He was about to give the bell a real beating, when a hatch in one of the doors suddenly slid open and a voice called out, “Well? What do you want? Deliveries are around the back.”

“No no, I am here to see the Senior Secretary, Zavistic Rarve. My name is Nildi. I believe Jonny the barman has sent word that I would be coming.”

“Jonny?” asked the voice. “I know of no-one by that name. And don’t you dare dent the bell. Secretary Rarve is unavailable. Good day to you.”

“No, wait!” Nildi exclaimed. “Please. The barman from the inn said his name was Jongor Smitson and that he had sent word of my wanting to seek an audience with Zavistic Rarve. I am an Elder Dwarf from the noble city of Keldagrim and I am seeking his council on a matter most urgent!”

“Jongor Smitson? I have heard of no such individual. The barman from the inn up the road is called Savius Broadfoot. But you are an Elder Dwarf, you say? Yanille has not seen an Elder of your race for many many years,” the voice behind the door mused.

“Has Secretary Rarve been made aware of a Dwarf wishing to seek his council?” asked Nildi?

“No. And he’d not likely respond, even to one claiming to be an Elder Dwarf,” replied the voice.

“Then what must I do to gain entry?”

“Demonstrate a high competency of magical skill. Otherwise the very forces in play within this Guild may drive you mad,” scoffed the voice.

“My skills lie not in the arcane, yet such forces trouble me not,” cried Nildi, turning angry. “Behold the pendant of protection!”

~continued~

09-Oct-2006 06:08:56 - Last edited on 23-Nov-2006 09:37:03 by Dreamweaver

Dreamweaver
Aug Member 2003

Dreamweaver

Posts: 3,790 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Nildi threw back his cape and drew a pendant out from under his shirt. A fabulous dragonstone had been etched into the finest filigree web, so detailed in its hollowed structure as to appear like gossamer, though it remained as rigid and hard as diamond. It glowed with an internal violet hue that rippled faintly under the magical aura of the Mages' Guild.

“Do you think I walked the dangerous roads for months without protection? They call me the Crystalweaver because I alone can cut gems until they appear woven like fine lace. Our mages imbued this stone, my finest work, with a great deal more power than a solid crystal could ever hold. I come not to compete with the might of your magic, but to bargain for your knowledge. Call Zavistic Rarve and let him decide for himself whether he will see me."

Nildi’s outburst was met with a gasp, followed by the slamming of the door hatch. He was just considering whether or not to strike at the doors with all his might when they swung open and a tall, aged figure dressed in shimmering blue robes gazed down at him.

The figure had a long brown beard and a deep, furrowed brow, underneath which was an expression of timeless wisdom and confidence. His shimmering robes faded from dark blue about his shoulders to the palest of hues at his ankles, and he wore an amulet of gold around his neck, marking him as the Senior Secretary of the Guild. In his right hand, he held a smooth oaken staff topped with a cloudy white orb that swirled with constant movement. He looked down upon the Elder Dwarf, assessing him quickly.

“Nildi Crystalweaver? I am Zavistic Rarve. Welcome to the Guild. Follow me please."

09-Oct-2006 06:09:05 - Last edited on 24-Nov-2006 09:49:59 by Dreamweaver

Bsalt1

Bsalt1

Posts: 1,576 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Just thought I'd say...

I've been checking this thread every day for the next chapter. I don't know if you've given it up, but...

Make a next chapter, please? Pretty please? For me? :P

It's not often I find this good of a story to read ^_^

Oh, and by the way...

Keldagrim rocks!

20-Oct-2006 02:55:10 - Last edited on 20-Oct-2006 02:55:27 by Bsalt1

[#85QZ2X6LC]

[#85QZ2X6LC]

Posts: 3,440 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Hi there, Dreamweaver. I promised a few comments. :)

Firstly, I'd like to make it clear that I enjoyed this immensely. The content of your dialogue is very good, and your narrative is concise. You don't bore the reader and introduce things in very subtle ways with a good writing style.

Targets for improvement: just try to limit the dialogue a little. Also, there are a few mistakes with your punctuation early on. I think it's a question-mark where a full-stop should be. This is only a minor fault, though.

Thanks for an excellent read and good luck. :)

24-Oct-2006 10:26:04

EldestGreen

EldestGreen

Posts: 8,074 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Yeah, my first assumption was right. Your talent does scare me. Seriosuly, where did you come from?

Ok, first impressions aside, great story. I look forward to reading this. And of course, remain in fear of just how good you can get.

<~>Draken, Gold member of TGP, Silver of TWE and Novelist of TAL<~>
^><^ Before me, even Fate will Burn. The Shadow Phoenix lies deep within ^><^

24-Oct-2006 11:03:35

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