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Nildi of Keldagrim
Quick find code: 49-50-957-32282822
Hello, I am Brent, from the Aradougne Story Guild. I'm here because you requested that your story "Nildi of Keldagrim" be reviewed. I am sorry for the wait, but I am now here to review your story.
Plot: 97% | Very good! It was original and captivating.
Characters: 97% | Great, I felt like I came to know the characters as if I'd known them my entire life.
Dialogue: 99% | Fantastic!
Mechanics: 99% | I know there's something in there somewhere, I just can't find them again. Those tricksters!
Description: 76% | Owie! Hey, don't sweat it. I've reviewed quite a few people, and only two have really hit the mark for me when it comes to this category.
Overall: 93.6% | It is a VERY good story! You must write more
Notes from a fellow author: I would take some more time giving things detail, I loved it when you described the Inn in Yanille, you must describe everything more like that! Practice, and it will come to you. I completely understand that sometimes things don't go as you want them, and you have to make do with something you don't like. Just take your time, and before you write a post, think about what's going to happen in it and the posts after it so you can begin to get an idea of where you're going to take it.
After note: You have a brilliant mind for writing, and you are very good with expressing your characters. All I have left to say is experiment with things, try different styles out until you have found one that perfectly defines you.
This goes to all the other people out there: If you are an author, talented or not, you should check out The Word! It's a great place for young and old authors alike to meet and discuss things. Check it out sometime!
Thanks!
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|±‡±| Thread Administrator in the Ye Olde Story Guild |±‡±|
|±‡±‡±| Through the fire and the flames we carry on |±‡±‡±|
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Plot: 97% | Very good! It was original and captivating.
Characters: 97% | Great, I felt like I came to know the characters as if I'd known them my entire life.
Dialogue: 99% | Fantastic!
Mechanics: 99% | I know there's something in there somewhere, I just can't find them again. Those tricksters!
Description: 76% | Owie! Hey, don't sweat it. I've reviewed quite a few people, and only two have really hit the mark for me when it comes to this category.
Overall: 93.6% | It is a VERY good story! You must write more
Notes from a fellow author: I would take some more time giving things detail, I loved it when you described the Inn in Yanille, you must describe everything more like that! Practice, and it will come to you. I completely understand that sometimes things don't go as you want them, and you have to make do with something you don't like. Just take your time, and before you write a post, think about what's going to happen in it and the posts after it so you can begin to get an idea of where you're going to take it.
After note: You have a brilliant mind for writing, and you are very good with expressing your characters. All I have left to say is experiment with things, try different styles out until you have found one that perfectly defines you.
This goes to all the other people out there: If you are an author, talented or not, you should check out The Word! It's a great place for young and old authors alike to meet and discuss things. Check it out sometime!
Thanks!
________________________________________________
|±‡±| Thread Administrator in the Ye Olde Story Guild |±‡±|
|±‡±‡±| Through the fire and the flames we carry on |±‡±‡±|
¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯
21-Feb-2008 00:16:04 - Last edited on 27-Feb-2008 03:42:15 by Patriotic Br
bump for reserve, and...
i love your story, i dont know why i didnt read it before (i usually dont read stories unless theyve amassed a certain amount of posts)
so... uh... good story
~"def n00b!" -famous quote by a pure i once pked~
i love your story, i dont know why i didnt read it before (i usually dont read stories unless theyve amassed a certain amount of posts)
so... uh... good story
~"def n00b!" -famous quote by a pure i once pked~
22-Feb-2008 01:12:44
Patriotic Br,
I appreciate your kind words, and I'm very glad you enjoyed this story. If you do check back here, I wonder if you'd elaborate on the "mechanics" errors that you mentioned a little?
I dislike inaccuracies, and I'm pretty sure that I've weeded out any simple spelling mistakes. Therefore it would really help me if you could point out a couple of specific things you noticed, so I know what you were looking at and can make corrections.
As for the lack of description, it's a valid opinion indeed. I have room for improvement in all aspects of my writing, and it's certainly beneficial to get feedback on the areas I could improve upon the most.
With thanks,
Dreamweaver
P.S. You wrote "Just take your time, and before you write a post, think about what's going to happen in it and the posts after it so you can begin to get an idea of where you're going to take it."
This is great advice for every writer. I am fastidious about planning my work before I write it, both in a global scope and in smaller sections. For me, it makes a huge difference to the effectiveness of the tale's structure and direction. My favourite line when reviewing other peoples' works is, "Have you planned this?"
I appreciate your kind words, and I'm very glad you enjoyed this story. If you do check back here, I wonder if you'd elaborate on the "mechanics" errors that you mentioned a little?
I dislike inaccuracies, and I'm pretty sure that I've weeded out any simple spelling mistakes. Therefore it would really help me if you could point out a couple of specific things you noticed, so I know what you were looking at and can make corrections.
As for the lack of description, it's a valid opinion indeed. I have room for improvement in all aspects of my writing, and it's certainly beneficial to get feedback on the areas I could improve upon the most.
With thanks,
Dreamweaver
P.S. You wrote "Just take your time, and before you write a post, think about what's going to happen in it and the posts after it so you can begin to get an idea of where you're going to take it."
This is great advice for every writer. I am fastidious about planning my work before I write it, both in a global scope and in smaller sections. For me, it makes a huge difference to the effectiveness of the tale's structure and direction. My favourite line when reviewing other peoples' works is, "Have you planned this?"
22-Feb-2008 06:08:32 - Last edited on 25-Feb-2008 00:44:15 by Dreamweaver
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