Plot x20: 17. Your plot was well defined. I don't know why exactly I'm taking off points, but I feel the need too. I can't place my finger on it though.
Description x10: 8.5. Very good description, but not the best. You could have described what Sukrae looked like, the headband came out of nowhere.
Readability x10: 5. You need to make a new paragraph when someone new is speaking! I cannot emphasize this enough. It's cruical that you make a new paragraph.
Character Devolpment x20: 18. The whole love thing between Teagen and Sukrae was a very nice touch. But Teean(why did you choose such a hard name!) didn't have that much CD. You need to keep it balanced.
Spelling x20: 13. I found numerous errors, but it wasn't the worst. May I recomend to use MS word when you write? It helps so much.
Grammar x20: 5. You need to make a new paragraph
! And you need to capitalize things inside the quotes! I found numerous punctuation errors... You need to work on this a lot!
Total: 66.5 I enjoyed the story but your grammar kind of turned me away. I liked it, never the less.
Description x10: 8.5. Very good description, but not the best. You could have described what Sukrae looked like, the headband came out of nowhere.
Readability x10: 5. You need to make a new paragraph when someone new is speaking! I cannot emphasize this enough. It's cruical that you make a new paragraph.
Character Devolpment x20: 18. The whole love thing between Teagen and Sukrae was a very nice touch. But Teean(why did you choose such a hard name!) didn't have that much CD. You need to keep it balanced.
Spelling x20: 13. I found numerous errors, but it wasn't the worst. May I recomend to use MS word when you write? It helps so much.
Grammar x20: 5. You need to make a new paragraph
! And you need to capitalize things inside the quotes! I found numerous punctuation errors... You need to work on this a lot!
Total: 66.5 I enjoyed the story but your grammar kind of turned me away. I liked it, never the less.
09-Sep-2006 23:20:32