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Englishkid62

Englishkid62

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I'll be on at around five to five. This would give plenty of time, unless you spend a great deal of time thinking. 45 minutes usually, for me, is enough for at least two games. If you want more games, we can play again on Wednesday.

12-Feb-2011 18:42:13

Eraser418

Eraser418

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Excellent story, English. I love how you answered one of the most difficult questions through Kiplin's devotion to an internet browser game inorder to gain the affection and attention of someone. It's very easy to think of your characters as real, breathing people and I enjoy how you tied the begening in with the end.
The quotes ‘Love is one of those things that comes to you, finds you, when the time is right.’ ‘You don’t know this. You can't assume and take for granted that you will ever be loved.’ remind me of a poem I've read and am currently writing a short paper on called "Next, Please" by Philip Larkin.
Google it, if you have the time. You'll be amazed at how the meaning of it is similar with your story.
-Eraser

^
"I never liked the idea of a hood. In a hood, I discovered, I could see nothing but what was in front of me, only. I could only stare ahead, in one direction, oblivious to my surrounding, ignoring them at all costs. Even I, who knew nothing about the ways of the world, knew that life, when living in a hood, was boring."
Oh the hypocrisy!

12-Feb-2011 19:50:24 - Last edited on 12-Feb-2011 20:20:20 by Eraser418

Englishkid62

Englishkid62

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Hey, Eraser. Thank you very much for the read and taking the time to post. I wonder, what that question you referred to may be? The scammers's motive in the advert, or the Why Bother? Actually, the advert was created as an after-thought, because I wanted to grab the attention of others, then surprise them with something completely different.
I have Googled it and I am amazed by the poem. I guess what goes on in our mind certainly has been someone else's thought too, at one point. To be honest, my inspiration for this was founded more on my favourite book at the time, The Great Gatsby.
I didn't quite understand the hood hypocrisy. Was it because both of us are wearing hoods and thus hopeless romantics? :D .
But I liked the other hypocrisy better:
'I went through each forum, and came across some bizarre communities, namely the Stories forum (after all, who are these show-offs, people who have too much time on their hands and snobbish enough to write STORIES, or its more flamboyant relative, literary pretentions, about a computer game?).'
Trust me. I really had fun with that.

12-Feb-2011 22:52:23 - Last edited on 12-Feb-2011 22:52:52 by Englishkid62

Eraser418

Eraser418

Posts: 7,621 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Now that you mention it, I can see the influence you had from the Great Gatsby. Specifically the style of narration. You narrated the story but the story was more about Kipplin than it was yourself. The characters are similar as well.
Kipplin reminds me of Gatsby and Daisy seems to be reflected in David's character. In that Kipplin is trying to win David over by impressing him with his Highscores just as Gatsby tried with his wealth and Parties.
In my opinion, Kipplin may have held the weekly drop parties in hope of David's attendance. The fact that Kipplin was rarely seen at his own parties also resembles the Great Gatsby.
Anyways. I greatly enjoyed your story and can appreciate it even more after knowing where your inspirations came from.
P.S. Sorry for the bad grammer and whatnot.

13-Feb-2011 00:09:10 - Last edited on 13-Feb-2011 00:10:01 by Eraser418

Englishkid62

Englishkid62

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Well, this story has been accused of as a spin-off from The Great Gatsby :P . It's true! One of the only few difference is that the wealth Kipplin accumulated weren't really 'real', and there was no concrete proof that David ever loved him in the first place.
But I think though, in the end Kipplin had given up, and it was the narrator's turn to try to impress David with what Kipplin had, ironically, the quantity of his love is quantified in dry numbers of XP and skill level.
To everyone else Kipplin would have just been any other no-lifer. Just like Gatsby was just a criminal. But actually, there's so much more, and no character is completely good or evil.
Perhaps this was why I loved Great Gatsby so much. It was sooo romantic :P

13-Feb-2011 05:39:47

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