A13, if you are looking for views, I would suggest posting your story in Wattpad, as that's basically the largest story-reading community. Normally, I would read more content here, but white text on dark background really strains my eyes quickly, or so that's what I noticed.
Annie is useless in a real fight, so she makes it up for having automatic magical superpowers. It seems like a lazy way to have an overpowered character.
Inferi, the snake can emerge from anywhere so long as it is a stable source (ground, mountainside, castle wall, giant tree, anything that can support its weight), as it can summon its own shadows. Of course, it cannot emerge from within bodies, due to the soul being a natural deterrent to magic as already stated earlier. Yes, it can return to shadows as well, like Amelia. I wanted to do something different, and in this case, Amelia and the snake appeared in the shadow-dimension in the same spot at the same time.
Ancient, OK, that works, I guess, though I don't know why serpent-men would want to capture a human for any reason whatsoever.
Glitchy hair? Not as bad as those goggles.
Ancient, I just read your new post in ADW, and you did not respond to Inkeyes, but jumped to an entirely new scene. Basically, this kills any form of RPing. Nevertheless, at least you did mention a few things in relation to the quest, so that's good. As a reminder, you cannot describe or control anything that does not belong to you, so the beast-Nag* cannot be utilized in your storytelling, as that's my creation, but you can mention them in observation. Not that I'll blame you if you do forget, I did the same mistake myself in six posts total, but I learned.
18-Jul-2016 19:31:30
- Last edited on
18-Jul-2016 19:38:36
by
Azi Demonica
