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- Episode 23: Let's Make Elections Great Again! -
~ December 20, 2023 ~
Wise Old Man: Breaking news! The Combined Western Cartoon Multiverse has officially taken Reimu off the primary ballot and the general election ballot. This is based on the January 6 insurrection indictment charge! This means that Reimu is basically banned from the entire realm. You are not allowed to vote for her within this entire multiverse!
Oh, more breaking news! Also, today! Saradomin has been voted out by the Democrats! He is no longer the House Speaker! Homura Akemi has been chosen to take his place.
- Vote to Remove Saradomin -
Yes - 220 (213 Democrats + 7 Republicans)
No - 215 Republicans
- Speaker Vote Round 1 -
Homura Akemi (Republican) - 222
Spiderman (Democrat) - 213
Yukari: He just didn't do enough. I know it's only been 2 weeks but I didn't like what I saw in him. Sorry, RuneScape. But I need to put feelings aside and do what needs to be done.
Suwako: Reimu told us Homura is the way to go.
Gohan: It only took 1 round and it was unanimous. Let that sink in.
King Roald: Coming up today, an exclusive interview with our candidate Guthix! On behalf of RuneScape, we officially endorse Guthix for president! He is our god, he is our hero, he is the chosen one!
Wise Old Man: MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR 2024, RUNESCAPE!
Quizmaster: So Guthix, glad to know you're alive. What made you stay in hiding for so long?
Guthix: Eh, the usual. Didn't want to shock people. And I needed a vacation. Saving the multiverses is really hard work, you know.
Quizmaster: What made you run for president?
Guthix: I'm tired of the politics. Democrats, Republicans, whatever! They're all the same! And this MAGA thing...is just 4chan dropping out of history class!
Quizmaster: So you're not a big fan of anime?
Guthix: I think anime has its place. Government is not it.
02-Dec-2014 11:53:34 - Last edited on 26-Dec-2023 00:45:26 by Divinity M
Like, it's more of a fun meme thing. Not an actual way to run society. In some ways, it's worse than Homer Simpson and boy, he is bad!
Quizmaster: As you are aware, MAGA is leading in both the primary polls and the general election polls. Why should voters choose you over MAGA?
Guthix: Yeah, I know it's a tough uphill battle. My main competition is Reimu. I'm serious, it's just her! Homer Simpson is losing votes left and right! And the other candidates are irrelevant, why are they even here?
Quizmaster: As you know, Reimu has the MAGA coalition of anime fans and Venti has the Genshin Impact coalition. Homer has basically all of normie western civilization backing him. To become the president, you must overcome all of this. How do you do that?
Guthix: Well, first off, Venti is the only one running an actual campaign. I expect Wonder Woman, Spongebob, and Peter Griffin to drop out in short order to save people's money.
Despite corporate funding, it seems that the grassroots movement behind the Genshin Impact community is the only one with a ground game reaching out to voters. However, at the end of the day, it will not be enough to overcome Reimu's massive lead. I expect him to either drop out after Super Tuesday or just stay until he's officially eliminated.
Obviously, there is nothing stopping Homer from winning the Democrat primary. He will be the nominee regardless of what people think. The third parties are just distractions; they're going nowhere.
So, for the general election, that leaves me, Reimu, and Homer. Again, I'm just focused on Reimu. I need to convince people that there's a sane alternative to MAGA. That we don't need 4chan trolls telling us what to do.
Quizmaster: You believe 4chan is MAGA?
Guthix: 4chan is leading the MAGA movement, yes. It's very toxic. They're the reason why we're in 1 of 2 wars.
Quizmaster: As you are aware, MAGA is leading in both the primary polls and the general election polls. Why should voters choose you over MAGA?
Guthix: Yeah, I know it's a tough uphill battle. My main competition is Reimu. I'm serious, it's just her! Homer Simpson is losing votes left and right! And the other candidates are irrelevant, why are they even here?
Quizmaster: As you know, Reimu has the MAGA coalition of anime fans and Venti has the Genshin Impact coalition. Homer has basically all of normie western civilization backing him. To become the president, you must overcome all of this. How do you do that?
Guthix: Well, first off, Venti is the only one running an actual campaign. I expect Wonder Woman, Spongebob, and Peter Griffin to drop out in short order to save people's money.
Despite corporate funding, it seems that the grassroots movement behind the Genshin Impact community is the only one with a ground game reaching out to voters. However, at the end of the day, it will not be enough to overcome Reimu's massive lead. I expect him to either drop out after Super Tuesday or just stay until he's officially eliminated.
Obviously, there is nothing stopping Homer from winning the Democrat primary. He will be the nominee regardless of what people think. The third parties are just distractions; they're going nowhere.
So, for the general election, that leaves me, Reimu, and Homer. Again, I'm just focused on Reimu. I need to convince people that there's a sane alternative to MAGA. That we don't need 4chan trolls telling us what to do.
Quizmaster: You believe 4chan is MAGA?
Guthix: 4chan is leading the MAGA movement, yes. It's very toxic. They're the reason why we're in 1 of 2 wars.
02-Dec-2014 11:53:42 - Last edited on 26-Dec-2023 00:59:13 by Divinity M
Quizmaster: Is there a plan?
Guthix: 15%. I need to get 15% in the general election polls to qualify for the presidential debate so I can take them both on. The problem right now is I'm just a very green guy in RuneScape. Barely anyone outside knows me. I need to campaign door-to-door here, universe-to-universe. 1 voter at a time.
Ignore the noise. Ignore the FUD (fear, uncertainty, doubt). Just find a way to get 15% and then I get my chance to explain my case on multiverse television to everyone.
Again, this is a very tough uphill climb, I'm not going to lie. But I believe in myself, and I believe in the power of RuneScape; our fans, our coalition. Our community is not the biggest but it's a one of a kind and when we put our minds together, there is no limit to what we can do.
Quizmaster: So you're going out there and putting your faith in the people. A very bold move.
Guthix: I'm not running on party labels; those silly red and blue colours. I'm running on principles, I'm running on my own terms and I will defeat Democrats and Republicans on my own terms.
Quizmaster: Your thoughts on Bitcoin?
Guthix: Financial freedom, plain and simple. You know in RuneScape we have partyhats and this is just better. I fully support Bitcoin and cryptocurrencies. I actually own quite a few to fund my campaign.
Quizmaster: Alright, thanks for coming. Merry Christmas, and best of luck. We fully endorse you, our almighty god Guthix!
Wise Old Man: So...does he have a chance?
King Roald: I'll be real with you. The chances are slim. It's all about that 15%. If he can squeak in, then it's game on for the debates where everyone will get to hear his case. But if he can't reach 15% before then, then it's game over. He just can't reach out to everyone; just not enough money to campaign literally everywhere...
Wise Old Man: I know, right? It's hard enough dealing with Homer but Homer AND 4chan combined? Insane!
Guthix: 15%. I need to get 15% in the general election polls to qualify for the presidential debate so I can take them both on. The problem right now is I'm just a very green guy in RuneScape. Barely anyone outside knows me. I need to campaign door-to-door here, universe-to-universe. 1 voter at a time.
Ignore the noise. Ignore the FUD (fear, uncertainty, doubt). Just find a way to get 15% and then I get my chance to explain my case on multiverse television to everyone.
Again, this is a very tough uphill climb, I'm not going to lie. But I believe in myself, and I believe in the power of RuneScape; our fans, our coalition. Our community is not the biggest but it's a one of a kind and when we put our minds together, there is no limit to what we can do.
Quizmaster: So you're going out there and putting your faith in the people. A very bold move.
Guthix: I'm not running on party labels; those silly red and blue colours. I'm running on principles, I'm running on my own terms and I will defeat Democrats and Republicans on my own terms.
Quizmaster: Your thoughts on Bitcoin?
Guthix: Financial freedom, plain and simple. You know in RuneScape we have partyhats and this is just better. I fully support Bitcoin and cryptocurrencies. I actually own quite a few to fund my campaign.
Quizmaster: Alright, thanks for coming. Merry Christmas, and best of luck. We fully endorse you, our almighty god Guthix!
Wise Old Man: So...does he have a chance?
King Roald: I'll be real with you. The chances are slim. It's all about that 15%. If he can squeak in, then it's game on for the debates where everyone will get to hear his case. But if he can't reach 15% before then, then it's game over. He just can't reach out to everyone; just not enough money to campaign literally everywhere...
Wise Old Man: I know, right? It's hard enough dealing with Homer but Homer AND 4chan combined? Insane!
02-Dec-2014 11:54:28 - Last edited on 26-Dec-2023 01:10:45 by Divinity M
I'm really getting Saradomin and Zamorak vibes with Guthix in the middle for this election.
King Roald: Who's Saradomin and Zamorak?
Wise Old Man: I guess Homer is Saradomin and Reimu is Zamorak?
King Roald: Yeah, this election is basically God Wars on a bigger scale. Guthix is sandwiched in between two extremes. We now tune into a special video announcement from Venti in response to Reimu being banned off the ballot.
~ Venti's Special Announcement ~
Venti: This is an ASSAULT on our DEMOCRACY! DISNEY KNOWS THEY CAN'T COMPETE WITH ANIME! THE NORMIE WESTERN CARTOONS ARE A FAILING BRAND! THEY ARE EVEN FAILING NORMIES!
They know that once normies see HOW MUCH BETTER ANIME IS, THEY WILL NEVER GO BACK! So instead of trying to be better, they CENSOR AND BAN THE COMPETITION!
In response, I hereby WITHDRAW FROM THE BALLOT! Until Reimu is brought back, I'm staying out. Reimu did nothing wrong. There is no insurrection. The only crime committed here is an unconstitutional ballot ban!
I want to defeat Reimu, but I want to do so fairly to prove who is the BETTER FRANCHISE! I want to WIN in the ARENA OF IDEAS, NOT IN A RIGGED PLAYING FIELD!
Now, I *would* call upon the others to do the same, but we all know doing the right thing is far beyond you...
...so MERRY CHRISTMAS, YA FILTHY ANIMALS! ENJOY your SIMPING DISNEY VOTES BECAUSE this is the ONLY WIN you FECKLESS NORMIE ZOMBIES WILL EVER GET!
Episode 23 will continue in 2024.
Episode 24 will be made after the 2024 presidential election.
King Roald: Who's Saradomin and Zamorak?
Wise Old Man: I guess Homer is Saradomin and Reimu is Zamorak?
King Roald: Yeah, this election is basically God Wars on a bigger scale. Guthix is sandwiched in between two extremes. We now tune into a special video announcement from Venti in response to Reimu being banned off the ballot.
~ Venti's Special Announcement ~
Venti: This is an ASSAULT on our DEMOCRACY! DISNEY KNOWS THEY CAN'T COMPETE WITH ANIME! THE NORMIE WESTERN CARTOONS ARE A FAILING BRAND! THEY ARE EVEN FAILING NORMIES!
They know that once normies see HOW MUCH BETTER ANIME IS, THEY WILL NEVER GO BACK! So instead of trying to be better, they CENSOR AND BAN THE COMPETITION!
In response, I hereby WITHDRAW FROM THE BALLOT! Until Reimu is brought back, I'm staying out. Reimu did nothing wrong. There is no insurrection. The only crime committed here is an unconstitutional ballot ban!
I want to defeat Reimu, but I want to do so fairly to prove who is the BETTER FRANCHISE! I want to WIN in the ARENA OF IDEAS, NOT IN A RIGGED PLAYING FIELD!
Now, I *would* call upon the others to do the same, but we all know doing the right thing is far beyond you...
...so MERRY CHRISTMAS, YA FILTHY ANIMALS! ENJOY your SIMPING DISNEY VOTES BECAUSE this is the ONLY WIN you FECKLESS NORMIE ZOMBIES WILL EVER GET!
Episode 23 will continue in 2024.
Episode 24 will be made after the 2024 presidential election.
02-Dec-2014 11:56:32 - Last edited on 26-Dec-2023 01:50:29 by Divinity M
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