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Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Chapter 99: While Guthix Sleeps
Thorblade4’s House…
(The gang is sitting in the parlor)
Bono: Has anyone noticed Thor’s missing?
Everyone: No*
Bono: Me neither.
Everyone: O_o
(Thorblade4 walks in all beat up)
Chu Master5: Oh, hey, Thor. We were just wondering where you were.
Thorblade4: YOU JUST?! I’ve been gone for four weeks AND YOU JUST NOTICED I WAS MISSING?!
Groovy Gal62: What were you doing that took you four weeks ?
Thorblade4: I was chased by an angry mob of players who wanted me to add them to the story! To make matters worse, my abyssal whip is missing!
Trollweiss Mountain…
(A player named Wh1p5 Rul3 picks up an Abyssal Whip)
Wh1p5 Rul3: Awesome! An abyssal whip! Who’s stupid enough to drop this?!
Thorblade4’s House…
Eggypants 2: So, what’s on the agenda today?
Chu Master5: (takes out schedule) Own Bono, Own Bono, Own Bono, Own Bono, and Own Bono.
Everyone: O_o
Chu Master5: Why are you looking at me like that?!
Everyone: ...
Monkey164: Does anyone have any better ideas that Chu. Really.
Thorblade4: How about we make Bono do While Guthix Sleeps?
Everyone: O_o
Thorblade4: What?!
Groovy Gal62: Bono, the Noob of all Noobs doing the hardest quest in RuneScape?
Chaserm1: What? Are you suggesting Master Bono isn’t good enough to complete this quest?
Groovy Gal62: Yeah…
Chaserm1: You have insulted Master Bono’s great power and wisdom! (draws keyblade) Prepare to be destroyed!
Groovy Gal62: (Orbs of energy appear around her hands) Bring it on, Kingdom of Hearts boy!
Thorblade4: (gets in between them) They’re be no fighting in my house. I just redecorated. If you wish to fight, do it in the dungeon…
(Groovy Gal62 and Chaserm1 look at each other, then run towards to dungeon)
Flameater20: I still don’t like the idea of Bono doing While Guthix Sleeps…
Thorblade4: Anyone have any better ideas?
Everyone except Thorblade4 & Bono: No*
Thorblade4: Then we’re off to do While Guthix Sleeps!
Legend’s Guild… "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

01-Nov-2009 13:31:14

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Groovy Gal62: Finally, we’ve gotten all the requirements for While Guthix Sleeps!
Flashback in Khazari Jungle…
(The gang walks in the ring of fire and Nezichened appears)
Bono: Hey, look! It’s Nezzie!
Nezichened: HOW MANY TIMES TO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?! DON’T CALL ME NEZZIE!
Bono: Sorry, Nezzie.
Nezichened: WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!
Bono: HOW MANY TIMES TO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?! DON’T CALL ME NEZZIE!
Nezichened: Very good. And what can you infer from that?
Bono: You have Caps Lock button on?
Nezichened: AAARGH!!!
(Nezichened dies)
Later…
(The gang is the cavern of holy water)
Flameater20: Wow. Look at all the holy water.
(Bono does a cannonball and dives into the pool of holy water)
Thorblade4: Bono, don’t swim in it!
Bono: Fine…
(Bono comes out of the pool)
Bono: I feel…more holy…
(A group of monks appear)
Monk #1: There he is! The Holy One!
(The monks drop on their knees and worship Bono)
Monk #2: What is your command, oh Holy One?
Bono: You must repent!
Monk #3: But how?
Bono: Give all your money to noobs and throw in some cheese.
Monk #4: Ahhh…
Bono: And punish the wicked scammers who cause suffering to noobs.
Monk #5: We understand, oh Holy One. We shall spread the word!
(The monks run off)
Flameater20: I see big changes ahead…
Varrock Square…
(A Scammer is going around, scamming people)
Sc4m R: Trimming items! Give me your items and I will trim them and give them back to you!
(A noob walks up)
Noob: Trim my blk pl8, plz.
Sc4m R: Ok. (takes Black Plateobdy) Ha, Ha, stupid noob! I now have your black platebody!
Noob: No! Not my blk pl8! I bought it for 1k!
(The group of Monks walk up)
Monk #6: Here, brother noob. Here’s 1mil and some cheese to help end your suffering.
(Monk #6 gives noob cheese and 1mil)
Noob: Tyvm!
Monk #7: You’re welcome, brother noob.
Sc4m R: Hey! What about me?! I’m a noob too!
Monk #8: No, you’re liar and a scammer who causes infinite suffering upon the innocent. You shall be punished! "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

01-Nov-2009 13:34:31

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
(The group of monks cast Saradomin Strike on Sc4m R and he dies)
The Underworld…
(Sc4m R’s spirit is sent down to the Underworld)
Grim Reaper: Finally! Someone whose died who isn’t Im D34d! Speaking of which, where is he?
Im D34d’s House…
(Im D34d is in a laboratory, making a potion)
Im D34d: Finally! Once I add one more ingredient, I will have the Elixir of Life!
(Im D34d pours a liquid into the potion and it explodes, killing him)
Underworld…
Im D34d: Oh. It said “Add nitrogen” not *Add nitroglycerin”*
End of Flashback…
Bono: Are you sure this is a good idea? Because I don’t think it is.
Chu Master5: Wow! You can think?!
Bono: Of course I- HEY!
Sir Radimus Erkle: Go see Thaerisk Cemphier…
Taverley…
Thaerisk Cemphier: Listen, I’m working against an evil mahjarrat named Lucien. He has this man named Moravio working for him. I want you to find Moravio’s headquarters and find any information on what he’s doing…
Feldip Hunter Area...
Thorblade4: Will some please remind me why we’re hunting a PIG to find the headquarters of some evil treasure hunter?
Bono: Reldo said the Broav has a great sense of smell, so it will help us find the base easier…
Flashback…
Varrock Palace Library…
(The gang walks in the room)
Reldo: Oh no! Not you again! Keep away from my books!
Thorblade4: What did you do here, Bono*?
Bono: Nothing…
Reldo: You tried to burn all my books!
Bono: No, I was training Firemaking…
Reldo: Look, if I give you the information you need, will you leave?
Bono: Throw in a piece of cheese and it’s a deal!
End of That Flaskback…
Bono: Look! Here comes one now!
(A Broav comes up and falls into the trap)
Hunting Expert’s Hut…
Hunting Expert: There. I trained the Broav. He is now your’s.
Bono: But what shall I name him?
Oo’glog…
Im D34d: Now, Sk3pt1c, I shall show you my new invention called “fireworks”!
Sk3pt1c: Bah! This is going to end up with you getting killed again, like that time you said would make the “Elixir of Life”. "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

01-Nov-2009 13:42:47

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Im D34d: Not this time. I have made every calculation and this will work! Observe!
(Im D34d presses a button which sends the firework in the air, which snatches an Ogress’s wig off her head and flies over to the Feldip Hunter Area, exploding in a multicolored explosion!
Im D34d: It works! My invention was a success!
(Ogress walks over)
Ogress: That was yurs, huh?
Im D34d: That’s right! Give me what I deserve for coming up with it!
Ogress: Stupid machin stole ma wig. You pay, yooman.
(Ogress takes out a club and hits Im D34d on the head, killing him)
Sk3pt1c: Well, I was right!
Feldip Hunter Area…
Bono: I still can’t decide what to call him…
(An Ogre Wig falls on the Broav)
Bono: That’s it! I’ll call him Pigwig!**
Everyone except Bono: Ok…
Moravio’s HQ*
Thorblade4: Ok, gang. Let’s get that information and get out!
One Month Later…
Eggypants 2: That took way too long…
Chu Master5: It would’ve been sooner if Bono wasn’t touching everything and activating traps…
Chaserm1: Are you saying it’s Master Bono’* fault?!
Chu Master5: (sarcastically) No* Of course not*
Chaserm1: Good…
Taverley…
Thaerisk Cemphier: Ok, I need you to spy on Lucien… Head to McGrubor’s Woods…
McGrubor’s Woods…
(Luciens minions are attacking the Guardians of Armadyl)
Bono: Those guys need our help! Let’s get those evil guys!!!
(The gang charges at Lucien’s minions)
Bono: (charges at the nearest minion): For Lumbridge!!!
(Chu Master5 kills the minion with a hand cannon)
Chu Master5: Man, these things are so awesome!
Bono: Hey! That one was mine!
Chu Master5: Sorry. Feel free to take the next one.
Bono: Okay!
(Bono runs up to another Minion, who hits him 9 damage, leaving him with 1hp)
Bono: On second thought, he’s all your’s…
Chu Master5: (sarcastically) Are you sure? I don’t want to steal your victory from you…
Bono: JUST KILL HIM ALREADY!!!
Chu Master5: I don’t like your attitude. I’ll leave to you…
(Chu Master5 walks away)
Later… "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

01-Nov-2009 13:47:15

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
(Bono is covered with bandages)
Bono: (sarcastically) Thanks for the help, Chu…
Chu Master5: Oh, shut up…
Bono: Shut up is a mean-!
(A frying pan flies toward Bono, who hits the ground, so it hits Chu Master5)
Chu Master5: Ow…
Monkey164: Sorry. I lost my grip while cooking monkfish to heal us.
Bono: Ha! I knew that was going to happen! I’m not so stupid that I don’t learn from my mis- (sees mousetrap) Oh look! Cheese!
(Bono reaches for cheese, but it hits him 1hp, killing him)
An Hour Later…
Bono: Ow…
Thorblade4: Bono, we’ve gone over this a thousand times. Don’t take cheese that’s connected to a mousetrap. It’s for mice.
(A noob with a rat face comes up)
M0us3y: Ooh! Cheese!
(M0us3y reaches for cheese, but the trap hits him 10hp out of 10hp)
M0usey: Noooo!!! (dies)
Everyone: O_o
Black Knight’s Fortress…
(Everyone, except Bono, who is not there, are dressed up as Black Knights)
Thorblade4: There. We’re now completely inconspicuous!
Groovy Gal62: Uh, where’s Bono?
(Bono runs up, dressed as Batman)
Thorblade4: Bono, why are you dressed as Batman?
Bono: You said dress as a Dark Knight.
Thorblade4: No! I said Black Knight!
Bono: Oh… (prepares to speak)
Thorblade4: If you say, “Enough games, Robin! To the Batmobile!” DC Comics will sue you…
Bono: Neeeaagh! You’re no fun!***
Later…
(The gang in behind a large rock)
Eggypants 2: There he is, Dark Squall…
Chaserm1: All we need to do is get him.
Groovy Gal62: Who’s dumb enough to go talk to a mage who maybe be powerful and homicidal?
(Everyone looks at Bono)
Bono: Why is everyone looking at me?!
(Thorblade4 throws Bono behind Dark Squall)
Dark Squall: Yes, what is (turns around) YOU!!!
Bono: I’m sorry. Have we met?
Dark Squall: Yes! We met 75 Chapters ago…
Bono: No* It can’t be!
Dark Squall: YES!!!
Bono: W00dcutt3r!
Dark Squall: No! It is I, Surok!
Thorblade4: (comes up from behind the rock) Wait… You lost your memory in Chapter 40! "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

01-Nov-2009 14:11:47

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Monkey164: Uh… Thor? You just blew our cover…
Thorblade4: Aw, crap…
Surok: Well, I got it back like this…
Flashback in Chaos Tunnels…
Dark Squall: I’m bored. Time to get some fresh air.
(Dark Squall climbs out into the Wilderness. A noob runs up)
D4g0nh41pwnz: Nice Dagon’hai, dude
Surok: DON’T CALL ME DUDE!!!
(Surok kills D4g0nh41pwnz. W4rp St4r appears)
W4rp St4r: Have you seen a shooting star land around here, dude?
Surok: First off, if I did, I’d be mining it. Second, DON’T CALL ME DUDE!!!
(Surok kills W4rp St4r)
Surok: I hate noobs. (grows darker) Huh? (looks up and sees shooting star heading towards him) Aw, crap…
(The shooting star lands on Surok)
Duel Arena Hospital…
Doctor: I’m afraid you have amnesia.
Surok: I have what?
Doctor: Amnesia.
Surok: Who are you?
Doctor: I am a doctor.
Surok: A what?
Doctor: I’m the guy who takes care of sick people.
Surok: You do what now?
Doctor: Just get out…
(Surok walks out and another shooting star flies toward him)
Surok: What that?
(The shooting star hits him and he climbs out of the rubble)
Surok: I…am…BACK!!!
End of Flashback…
Thorblade4: Ah…
Surok: Now, any last words before I destroy you?!
Bono: Yeah. Did you know that you’re a complete noob?
Surok: Ok, that does it!
(Surok is about to cast a spell, when is tapped on the sholder)
Surok: What now?! (Turns around and sees a bunch of rocks) What the-?!
Rocco: Hey buddy, you mess wif da’friend of Rocky…
Flint: You mess wif all’us!
Surok: Oh crap…
Ten Minutes Later…
(Surok is all beaten up)
Bono: Yeah! That’s what you get for messing with Bono, friend of rocks! (turns to Rocks) Bye, guys!
Rocks: Bye, Friend of Rocky!
(The rocks roll away)
Everyone: O_o
Bono: What?!
Lucien’s Camp…
(Bono walks up to Lucien in his Surok disguise)
Lucien: Ah, Surok… I’m glad you came.
Bono: What is thy bidding, my master?
Lucien: You really think you can fool me with that disguise, Bono RuneScape?! "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

01-Nov-2009 14:14:10

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Bono: (mutters to self) Darn, this was such a good character… (throws off disguise) What do you want?!
Lucien: My rival, the pathetic D4rk L0rd, has taken an interest in you. A very obsessive interest, I might add. What is it about you that grabs is attention so much? Are you the key to taking over RuneScape? I must find out! Join me!
Bono: Never!
Lucien: Then die-!
Bono: That’s an odd spot to put a Pizza Place…
Lucien: What? (turns around and Bono runs off) Drat! The noob tricked me!
White Knight’s Castle…
Akrisae: Moravio’s on the move again. He’s in Lumbridge Swamp Caverns. Investigate!
Bono: …Please?
(Bono is kicked out of White Knight’s Castle)
Bono: No manners at all!
Tears of Guthix…
(Bono walks up to Moravio in his Surok disguise)
Moravio: Ah, Surok! I thought you were beat up by a bunch of rocks.
Bono: (evil tone) Lies! Spread by jealous rivals to humiliate me!
Moravio: Whatever you say… Anyway, I need some we can afford to lose to go down that chasm.
Bono: But It’s…dark… And there might be rocks…
Moravio: Well, have fun! (pushes Bono into the chasm) Happy landing!
Ancient Guthix Chasm…
(Bono lands on the ground, beat up, but miraculously alive)
Bono: Yay! I’m not dead!
(Bono sees a gravestone next to him)
Bono: “Here lies Im D34d. Grew tired of always dying and commited suicide. He’s probably in Lumbridge, cursing that he’s still alive…” Well, that makes me feel more morbid…
(Bono enters the temple)
One Week Later…
Bono: I finally solved those puzzles that were too complicated for my tiny brain. Now, to enter the vault!
(Bono runs into the cavern behind the giant door)
???: Master!
Bono: You! You were the one calling to me in Chapter 97!
???: Yes. I have been waiting for you!
Bono: Who are you?
???: I am the Stone of Jas.
Bono: How about I call you Rocky II?
Stone of Jas: Ok, master. But, before we can unite, you must defeat the guardian.
Bono: What guardian?
(The Balance Elemental appears) "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

01-Nov-2009 14:14:59 - Last edited on 24-Aug-2010 15:51:50 by Blaze Deku

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Bono: Ok… Thor did not tell me about this…
Hedmaster20’s Bar…
Chaserm1: So, let me get this straight. You sent Bono to do While Guthix Sleeps to GET HIMSELF KILLED?!
Thorblade4: Yeah. I’ve been stuck with him for 96 Chapters and I will finally be free!
(Thorblade4 notices that everyone is looking at him)
Thorblade4: What?
Groovy Gal62: Thor, that’s harsh.
Chu Master5: Yeah, that’s lower than what I do.
Flameater20: Besides, if Bono dies, the story will end and the fans will leave.
Thorblade4: That’s why I wrote “Tale of Two Player Mods” But, you’re right, we should get him back…
Ancient Guthix Temple…
(Bono is hiding behind a pillar hiding from the Balance Elemental)
Bono: Why did the guys have to leave me when I had to face one of the strongest monsters in RuneScape?!
Stone of Jas: Why don’t you use some nitroglycerin, Master?
Bono: I used it on the puzzles.
Earlier in Ancient Guthix Temple…
Bono: These puzzle is too hard! It’s time, for my ultimate move. (brings out of all his nitroglycerin) ATOMIC NITROGLYCERIN SUPERNOVA BLAST!!! (Bono throws all the nitroglycerin at the door with Guthix’s face on it and destroys it in a big blast) I don’t even know most of what I just yelled…
Flashback Ends…
Balance: Your death was so tragic
(Balance Elemental hits Bono, leaving him with 1hp)
Stone of Jas: Master, you’re only hope is for use to unite. Otherwise, you will die.
Bono: Ok!
(Bono runs to the Stone of Jas and touches it)
Bono: I feel, more powerful…
Ancient Guthix Temple Entrance…
Flaameater20: Wait guys, I feel a powerful presence deep in that cave.
Thorblade4: What’s the level of it?
Flameater20: IT’S OVER 9000!!!
Everyone: WHAT?! 9000!
Flameater20: 9000!
Groovy Gal62: Ok… Can we stop with the internet meme? It’s really getting annoying…
Everyone: Fine…
Stone of Jas Room…
Balance Elemental: The noob is level 9000?! I’m so dead.
Bono: Die! (casts a powerful aura spell and hits the Balance Elemental 1,000,000 damage and kills it) "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

01-Nov-2009 14:17:17

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
???: Very good, Mister RuneScape, very good.
(Bono turns around and sees Lucien, Moravio, and Darve)
Lucien: We’ll be taking the Stone of Jas and leave you with some new friends.
(Moravio takes the Stone of Jas and summons two Tormented Demons)
Stone of Jas: Master!!!
Bono: Let him go!
Lucien: Or what?
Bono: This!
(Bono creates a gigantic aura sword and kills the two tormented demons)
Lucien: Uh… Retreat!
(Lucien, Moravio, and Darve teleport away)
Bono: I will find you Lucien and you will bring Rocky II back!
(Idria appears)
Idria: Congratulations! You completed While Guthix Sleeps! Here’s 100,000xp in any skill and this lump of dragon metal.
Bono: This red lump of metal is useless! So I’ll-
Idria: Throw that away and I will kill you.
Bono: Fine… I’ll sell it on the Grand Exchange for a meager amount of cash.
Idria: MEAGER?!
Bono: Well, see you.
(Bono runs to the door where he runs into the gang)
Bono: Ow!
Thorblade4: Bono! You’re alive and LEVEL 9001?!
Bono: I’m lvl 9001?! Sweet!
???: Yes, exactly as planned…
(D4rk L0rd appears)
D4rk L0rd: At long last, Bono RuneScape, you have embraced your destiny. Together, we shall conquer RuneScape and bring back the lord of shadows!
Bono: I’ll never join you.
D4rk L0rd: I never said you’d join us. Instead, you will be sacrificed to our great god.
Bono: You have to catch me first!
(Bono throws an aura blast at D4rk L0rd for blocks it with his Ancient Staff)
Bono: How’d you block that? I’m level 9001!
D4rk L0rd: Fool. With the Stone of Jas getting farther way, you grow weaker. Weak enough for me to do this!
(D4rk L0rd casts a spell and Shadow Tentacles capture Bono and drag him into a dark portal)
Bono: Heeeeelp!
Thorblade4: Bring him back, D4rk L0rd!
D4rk L0rd: I have use for your friend. Great use for him that will change RuneScape forever!
(D4rk L0rd disappears)
Thorblade4: Bono!!! NOOOOOO!!!
Next Chapter: Chapter 100: Beginning of the End "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

01-Nov-2009 14:20:34

Blaze Deku
Nov Member 2006

Blaze Deku

Posts: 3,691 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
* Yeah, yeah. I know. It was a WAY TOO LONG flashback…
** Pigwig70 agreed to letting us use his name for Bono’s pet Broav
*** From Tales From RuneScape Episode 25 "While Guthix Sleeps, the World Wakes to the Fate of the Gods and the Children of Mah in Sliske's Endgame..."

01-Nov-2009 14:24:03

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