Hello,
As you requested, here is your review. I give it a 7 out of 10. Comical and intriguing, and even a tale to remember. However, it lacked a purpose. That is, the good works tell of a set of moral dilemmas and at the end of the story, as lesson is learned from it. Not simply, "Don't be a fool," sort of lesson. It needs to be a deeply profound lesson that is derrived from great wisdom. This is a difficult idea to write in a story, especially one as short as yours. Normally it takes a full-blown novel to accurately display such lessons. Also, your novel took place in way too many locations and mentioned too many places that are unknown to the common reader (which you didn't really describe them in enough detail for the reader to truly picture the places in their mind). The tale itself was too quick. Events occurred one after another after another with very little "bridges" between them. You should take a few of the adventures of Dog off and go into more detail about the adventures that remain. Finally, Reldo suddenly turning worshipful of a shaggy, flea-bitten dog doesn't really work right. For almost the entire story Reldo remained only curious of the dog. Then suddenly at the last few lines he turned worshipful. The transition was too quick. Other than that, I found the story to be entertaining and worth reading a second time. Pretty good work, I can't wait to see your future works.
your friend,
Emperor Brandon
13-Sep-2007 03:58:40
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