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A New Era

Quick find code: 49-50-689-52457909

G Shamshir

G Shamshir

Posts: 1,723 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Bump

~`~`~`G.Sham Master of Obscure story references~`~`~`

Noob: Bump

Sam: Whats a bump?

Mike: Its that thing on your head.

Sam: Where?

Mike: Right there! *Hits same on top of his head*

Sam: Ouch! So whats a bump?

Jes: Heel boy!

Sam: Bark Bark!

~`~`~`This is a "Life Of A Noob (Comedy) reference~`~`~`

31-Dec-2008 20:33:20

[#1B04O0PHT]

[#1B04O0PHT]

Posts: 3,111 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
You need to figure out how many story posts there are, as the number will strongly effect your review. Please figure it out as soon as possible, and tell me.

I'll give you a hint: You sometimes forget that your story is in present tense.

06-Jan-2009 01:26:19

[#1B04O0PHT]

[#1B04O0PHT]

Posts: 3,111 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Here is your review of “A New Era”, presented by Guthixian Reviews.

Vocabulary: Apprentice.

Simply put, I saw nothing special.

Mechanics: Latent.

Come on. This is filled with tense errors and misplaced quotation marks. You need to work on this.

Some examples, one of tense and apostrophe mistakes, and one of misplaced quotations marks:

“Hey Bill!” said another employee as she walked towards him,” How olds your granddaughter now?*

*SONUVA-“thought Bill.

I expect better from you. Proofread!

Plot: Apprentice.

Once again, nothing special. All I see is that some random people blew up Falador and Seer's Village, and two old fogeys are trying to save the world. That doesn't get you any points.

Characters: Apprentice.

So far, I see no personality, besides for one of the old dudes being perpetually angry. You really need to do better.

Imagery: Potent.

This is fine, so long as you leave off of the cheesy metaphors and descriptions.

An example:

“Magic trees that had once twinkled with magical sparks and sang a tune so beautiful, it made Saradomin cry, were now nothing but charred logs on the ground.”

Overall Mark: Apprentice.

Come on, OHS. You can do better than this! The tense errors and apostrophes killed you, and the two-dimensional plot and characters ended whatever delusions I might have about this. I'm sorry.

./|¥|\. Apprentice Writer of Guthixian Reviews ./|¥|\.

Thank you for using Guthixian Reviews.

08-Jan-2009 23:30:10

Cicobe1

Cicobe1

Posts: 4,823 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Righto then, hello to the author. I am here on behalf of your request of a review on the Writers of Varrock. I will be reviewing the story, and I ask but a few things in exchange for my review. I will list them in a few, but here is my rubric for my grading:

Rubric -

Plot: */20.

Mechanics (This includes spelling, grammar, and vocabulary usage): */20.

Character development/personalities: */20.

Description: */20.

Originality: */20.


Things I ask for in exchange for my review:

-I ask that I not be accused of any biased relationships with any guild, author, or reader.

-I ask to not be spammed/flamed by the author of the thread.

-I ask to not be spammed/flamed by any readers/"posters" on this thread.

-I ask that you take my review into account! Please don't simply read my review and not do anything! Please try to correct/improve the story based on what I suggest!

-Feel free to ask questions about your review, such as "Why did I get this grade?" or "What was I lacking in this part of the story?"


Assuming that you've read all the rules/regulations above, I ask that you do one last task for me. To prove that you acknowledge and agree to these rules, I ask that you carefully read and sign this contract below:

Contract -

I, the applicant for Writers of Varrock, agree to abide by ALL rules mentioned, as well as be fair and just in my review. I will not spam, flame, or be volatile in any form. By signing below, I acknowledge that I am subject to penalization by either the Writers of Varrock, Forum Moderator, or Jagex Moderator if I violate the rules stated in any way, shape, or form.

Signature: -Sign here-

---

Your story will not be graded or reviewed until you sign the contract. I wish you the best of luck in your review, as well as luck in any future writing you decide to follow.

Until next time.

~Cicobe1.

10-Jan-2009 18:22:12 - Last edited on 10-Jan-2009 20:30:34 by Cicobe1

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