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The Story Of Castle Wars

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[#85QZ2X6LC]

[#85QZ2X6LC]

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You have started off quite well, giving some detailed background information. It adds a nice atmosphere to the narrative you have so far. To improve, try to mix up your sentence stuctures a bit more. Sometimes your sentences don't flow all too well, and it becomes tricky to digest the meaning.

There are a few errors, but nothing too appparent. Keep it up. :)


-- Torpeh.

02-Jun-2007 11:35:01

Poller5
Dec Member 2023

Poller5

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Gul'dan watched in horror as the hellhound leaped at him, its mouth agape, showcasing its long fangs. The hellhound's eyes burned with the hatred and intelligence of the god it served, and in those eyes mercy did not exist. The hellhound could sense Gul'dan's weakness, his helplessness. The King watched, his face contorting with anger, but the foul magic held him too.

As the hellhound reached the apex of its leap the King saw his chance. Saying a quick prayer to Saradomin he threw his hammer at the hellhound. The hammer spiralled through the air, and struck the hellhound in the head. The hellhound was thrown sideways, as if hit by something many times the size of a war hammer.

Gul'dan, too worried about his own safety to thank the king, slashed down at the hellhound, forgetting momentarily that his feet were held to the ground by the magic of Zamorack's magi. The blow fell short, and his step that would have put him within striking distance failed to do anything.

Gul'dan's flank was now exposed, and one of the other hellhounds noticed this. Turning on Gul'dan it snarled and bounded at him. Grabbing his sword tighter Gul'dan pulled himself up just in time to meet the ferocious attack of the hellhound. The hellhound smacked the sword out of his hand, and Gul'dan was left defenceless. The hellhound slashed at him when suddenly he felt as if something had been lifted from him.

Not stopping to wonder what happened he rolled to the side and grabbed his sword. A thrust through the side of the overextended hellhound took care of it, and he turned to see what had caused the spell to end. Rushing out of a tunnel entrance in the side of the ridge was a small force of dwarves, who had killed the unsuspecting magi and who now turned on the hellhounds. Catching Gul'dan's eye, the leader let out a massive battle cry and charged.

02-Jun-2007 11:55:02 - Last edited on 18-Jun-2007 20:32:52 by Poller5

Poller5
Dec Member 2023

Poller5

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Chapter 4

"What do you mean the losses were minimal? I sent a dozen of my best hell hounds because you told me they were weak! You have a lot of explaining to do," hissed the cloaked figure.

"They would have been destroyed if not for that darn dwarf border guard. We had them trapped, and they were losing. The dwarves defeating the magi and then the hellhounds were overwhelmed. I tell you, there was nothing I could do to change the course of the battle," said the man. The cloaked figure stood silent for a moment, the only sign of life was the wicked malice in its glowing red eyes.

"My Lord is displeased," he answered in a low hiss. "However, he does understand why you failed, and is prepared to give you another chance." The cloaked figure's eyes glowed a brighter red and the man's eyes suddenly flashed with understanding. He nodded once, and the cloaked figure disappeared in a spiral of smoke, the last thing to fade were his eyes, glowing red in the ever growing darkness.

***

"The dwarf king is willing to aid us in the upcoming battle?" the King of Varrock asked somewhat sceptically.

"Yes, he is, and his army is already on the march towards Karna'khesh," answered the dwarf. The dwarf was the leader of a dwarven border guard patrol, and had heard the howling of the hell hounds and come to investigate. Upon seeing the army of Varrock under attack he and his men had made the unamanious decision to attack.

"I am relieved. From what I saw today the army of Zamorack is much more powerful than I had expected. We will need all the help we can get. I'm glad now that I listened to you, Gul'dan, and sent an envoy to the elves," the king stated tiredly. After the battle he had been running around taking stock of the wounded and killed, and was now somewhat exhausted.

02-Jun-2007 13:49:57 - Last edited on 18-Jun-2007 20:30:54 by Poller5

Poller5
Dec Member 2023

Poller5

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Luckily not many men had died, but any who had been bitten or wounded by the hell hounds had contracted a horrific disease that killed them within an hour. All in all over a hundred men had died in one attack. "We must send envoys to Falador and Ardougne asking for military aid in the upcoming fight. Zamorack's forces are indeed powerful, and I doubt this will be an easy fight. If they don't get them in time at least they will be forewarned about the power of Zamorack's forces," the king said thoughtfully, "Gul'dan, I'm afraid I must ask you to go to Ardougne. I have no one else I can trust for this job. Only those in my council and my generals can be informed of our plans. Those hell hounds didn't find us by accident, they knew where we were. I'm loathe to say it, but it appears that Zamorack has a spy in our camp."

"Very well, my liege. However, I suggest that you do not attack until I return with aid, I'm afraid that the Zamorackian army is even more powerful than we now estimate it to be. It would not be good to underestimate them and lose the war due to lack of good judgment," Gul'dan reasoned, "Also, I suggest you send some of your men to the Mage Guild, as we will need powerful magi to even hope to win this war."

"Very well," the King said, "Meeting adjourned. Gul'dan I will wait no more than a week to hear from you with news from Ardougne. If I don't here anything from you by then I will assume that your mission has failed. I will instruct one my magi to teleport you to Ardougne tonight."

"Yes, my liege," Gul'dan replied, "Next time we meet I will come at the head of the Ardougnian Army."

02-Jun-2007 14:09:05 - Last edited on 15-Jun-2007 18:11:02 by Poller5

Poller5
Dec Member 2023

Poller5

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Actually, acolytes are from more than just WarCraft...

But Gul'dan is from WarCraft...

Oh well, I'm not great at coming up with names. I'm sure people will recognize more and more as the story goes on

02-Jun-2007 15:13:52

Poller5
Dec Member 2023

Poller5

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Chapter 5

Ardougne: one of the greatest cities in all of Glienor, home of the Holy Order of Paladins, and the city with the largest and most disciplined fighting force, the Knights of Ardougne. Gul'dan looked around the crowded market square in wonder. He had been to Ardougne only once before, and that was with his parents to celebrate his graduation from the Varrock Academy of Combat and Sword Play. Getting directions from a guard, he struck for the castle, but not before stopping at the stall of the baker Hederick, whose cakes were legendary throughout all of Glienor.

The castle was much larger than the one in Varrock, and there were definitely many more guards here than he had ever seen at the castle in Varrock. As soon as Gul'dan reached the gates he was stopped by the guards, asking him with much candour what his business in the castle was. Gul'dan displayed a small piece of parchment with the King of Varrock's royal seal on it; given to him by the King should he be stopped. The guard hollered and a squire ran out to receive barked orders from the guard to take the "Varrockian emissary" to see the King.

***

"So you're saying that mighty Varrock needs the aid of Ardougne," the King stated blandly.

"Yes, desperately. The forces of Zamorack are great in number and in power, and if we fight alone we will lose. Should Varrock fall then there is very little to stop Zamorack to attack Falador. Mighty as the White Knights are, they too will fall, and then the full weight of the Zamorackian forces will fall onto Ardougne like water smashing on rocks. And then you too will fall, and so only the elves will remain. Mighty as they are, though the forces of Zamorack may falter, eventually they too will fall, and so Zamorack's control of Glienor will be complete. We have the chance now to defeat him."

02-Jun-2007 20:50:19 - Last edited on 16-Jun-2007 12:41:43 by Poller5

Poller5
Dec Member 2023

Poller5

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"You now must decide: will you be the King who helped save Glienor, or will you the one who brought about her downfall."

"You speak well, Gul'dan. I see now why my cousin speaks so highly of you. Though I dislike the fact it must come to this, we will fight with you," The King of Ardougne replied, "Send word to your King, we march for Karna’khesh* tomorrow. The forces of Varrock will be swelled by the full forces of the Holy Order of Paladins, the Knights of Ardougne and the Royal Ardougnian Guard. Tomorrow we march for Karna'khesh!"

02-Jun-2007 21:01:29 - Last edited on 16-Jun-2007 12:41:50 by Poller5

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