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I've been reading lots of noob stories. In those stories, most of the noobs don't know what they're doing. So, my idea was to create a noob story with a noob who already knows what to do. I'm gonna tell ya that this story is gonna be ironic. by the way, characters that I made up in other stories will also be here.
Characters:
Bob Jones - the noob, or "noob"; is picked on by high levels for being a noob and is told that he doesn't know what he's doing; he was too lazy to come up with a good username, so he set it as "Bob Jones"; derpiness factor of 2.
EpicLikeDat - the story's high level; tells Bob Jones he's doing everything wrong; the main troll of the story; derpiness factor of 5 (10 when trolling or telling Bob Jones he's doing everything wrong even though he's doing everything right).
Iskwil4s700f - obsessed with the Squeal of Fortune; hates those who don't have "lucky" (ex: lucky SGS) or extremely rare (ex: swag bag) items from Squeal of Fortune or hates Squeal of fortune (luckily I have a lucky SGS); derpiness factor of 8.
TzTok-Jad - James' pet baby troll who ate TzTok-Jad in the fight caves (clubbed through the first 62 waves); eats absolutely ANYTHING as long as it's raw; derpiness factor of 9.
Beta Tester - a guy who was hired by Jagex to test future RS updates; combat level 138 with all stats being 99; derpiness factor of up to 99 (Jagex is planning to release a skill called "derpiness" and he has level 99 in the skill).
Jamesedison1 - this is me. I'm EPIC! *dubstep music plays*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"______,_________~_________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|~~~~~|.........../-\.............|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~|~~~~~|______/~~\_______|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~__________
I'm also Bob Jones' friend ; derpiness factor of BRRFRRGL!

You can add an idea to the story with this simple application! If you submit one your idea may be chosen within 5 others with the game of eenie-meenie-minie-moe! jk

idea application:
idea's name:
concept of idea Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm in Pompeii, I'm lost.

13-May-2012 00:34:58 - Last edited on 26-Oct-2012 06:06:49 by Jimothey

13-May-2012 00:45:23 - Last edited on 21-May-2012 23:41:59 by Jimothey

13-May-2012 01:26:12

13-May-2012 01:43:53

Chapter 2: The Trolling
In Lumbridge...
EpicLikeDat: noob.
Bob Jones: *doing cook's assistant* shut up.
EpicLikeDat: noob.
Bob Jones: *doing sheep shearer* shut up!
EpicLikeDat: noob.
Bob Jones: *doing restless ghost* SHUT UP!
after many quests... and noob insults...
EpicLikeDat: noob.
Bob Jones: *killing cows* shut up.
EpicLikeDat: noob.
Bob Jones: *woodcutting* shut up.
EpicLikeDat: noob.
Bob Jones: *mining and smithing* shut up.
In Burthorpe...
Bob Jones: *doing member's tutorial start* good thing he can't get to me here EpicLikeDat: (private message) noob.
Bob Jones: ... this is ridiculous... *kills troll general guy* yey, baby troll!
EpicLikeDat: (private message) noob.
Bob Jones: (private message) would you shut up?
after the tutorial beginning...
EpicLikeDat: noob.
Bob Jones: *doing tutorial things* shut up...
EpicLikeDat: noob.
Bob Jones: ugh...
EpicLikeDat: noob.
Bob Jones: shut up already!
EpicLikeDat: noob.
Bob Jones: shut up.
EpicLikeDat: noob.
Bob Jones: seriously would you shu-
EpicLikeDat: shut up. I've been hearing that excuse about a million times already!
Bob Jones: it's not an excu-
EpicLikeDat: would you shut up already!? You've been saying "shut up" for the past million times already! it's getting annoying you ugly disgusting noob!
Bob Jones: oh, i'm getting annoying? you've been calling me a noob these past 3 hours! I've been telling you to shut up so that you would stop you pri-
EpicLikeDat: SHUT UP!
Bob Jones: NO!
EpicLikeDat: I said SHUT UP!!!!!!#!@#%!!
Bob Jones: *sigh* Go away already you stupid troll.
EpicLikeDat: noob.
Bob Jones: shut up.
EpicLikeDat: noob.
Bob Jones: shut up. *message comes in private chat* huh?
???: (private message) you know you can ignore that guy, right?
Bob Jones: (private message) oh yeah! forgot about that! thanks Jamesedison1!
Jamesedison1: (private message) any time Bob Jones: *puts EpicLikeDat on ignore*
EpicLikeDat: noo- *ignore is preventing him from speaking to Bob Jones*
Bob Jones: better Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm in Pompeii, I'm lost.

13-May-2012 02:13:57

Chapter 3: the noobs
Bob Jones: hehe... he's still trying to talk to me!
EpicLikeDat: ... (y u no speak 2 meh n00b?)
Bob Jones: why does he even troll noobs-
Random noob: phr33 s700f p10x!
Bob Jones: huh?
Random noob: phr33 s700f p10x!
Bob Jones: why?
Random noob: cuz my main is lvl 999!
EpicLikeDat: ... (noob)
Me: okay, this story needs length. Why Don't we just call you guys the first part of your username?
Bob Jones: K.
Epic: ... (don't listen to that noob! i'm going with your idea.)
Me: ...
Noob: i own u noob!
Bob: you're level 3. i'm level 15. i could own you easily.
Noob: nooo!
Epic: ... (this'll be good!)
Bob: i'm gonna go away now.
Noob: nooooo!
Bob: ... that's it! ignore! *puts the noob on ignore*
Noob: ... *spams the "trade" option on Bob*
Bob: ... this is too annoying. *removes Epic from ignore list*
Epic: noob.
Bob: how do you get rid of a noob?
Epic: shut up noob.
Bob: yes! trolling! thanks!
Epic: no! it's trolling to get rid of a noob!
Bob: noob.
Epic: excuse me?
Bob: not you. the noob.
Epic: noob.
Noob: ... (noo, ur da noob!)
Bob: shut up!
Noob: ... (wh-)
Bob: noob.
Noob: ... *home teleports to lumbridge*
Bob: thank god that's over!
God: you're welcome! Epic: noobs.
Bob: shut u- wait, did you say "noobs"?
Epic: i just did, idiot.
Bob: uh oh...
*a mob of noobs comes charging in*
Bob: *shouts the Darth Vader "no"* Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm in Pompeii, I'm lost.

14-May-2012 02:54:44

Nice Story My favourite part-
"Dragon: I hate my job... *walks to meat and eats it* *falls asleep* "
:D

14-May-2012 10:41:37

thanks Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm in Pompeii, I'm lost.

14-May-2012 20:08:42

Chapter 4: squealing troll
Epic: *squeals*
Bob: what was that...?
Epic: don't be racist! it's an asthma attack!
Bob: how can you have asthma in RS?
Epic: you can't have asthma in RS!
Bob: you just did have asthma...
Epic: uh... *derps out*
James: heya Bob! wanna see a full moon?
Bob: those don't exist in RS...
James: what doesn't exist?
Bob: ...
James: anyways, i wanted to show you this pet baby troll i got! *shows baby troll*
Bob: huh. kinda cute. what's his name?
James: TzTok-Jad!
Bob and Epic: ...
James: what?
Bob: he ate Jad. how?
James: simple. i used Jad on him.
Bob: ... again, how?
James: he ate Jad.
Jad the troll: *squeals*
???: did i hear a squeal!?
Bob: yeah, from this troll, Iskwil4s700f. he was having asthma for some reason.
Epic: shut up.
Bob: not you. the baby troll.
Epic: noob.
Iskwil: aww... i really love squeal of fortune... Epic: SoF's stupid.
Iskwil: *tackles and chokes Epic* *demonic voice* DON'T YOU EVER CALL SQUEAL OF FORTUNE STUPID ITS THE BEST MINIGAME EVER CREATED IN RUNESCAPE!@$!@$!!%#!%!!!##$!#%!!!
Epic: *choking* but... it is stupid...
Iskwil: *stabs Epic in the neck*
Bob: he'll respawn.
James: or will he...? *holds up a shotgun*
Bob: one, yes he will, and two, how'd you get that? those don't exist in RS.
James: what doesn't exist in RS?
Bob: ...
Iskwil: anyways, i'm gonna go to the Evil Tree. extra spins for the win!
James: ironic.
Bob: how?
James: yelps says "extra spin for the win!" when you claim a spin ticket.
Bob: that goblin guy with all that stuff?
James: yup!
lesson here: don't have asthma on RS since it's not possible and if it were players could recieve disease damage like from the Zogres and eventually die unless there was such a thing as an inhaler so you could use it to help stop asthma and *continues on and on and on... and on*
James: well, that was a waste of a post...
Bob: James, are you on the forums again?
James: what forums?
Bob: ... Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm in Pompeii, I'm lost.

16-May-2012 23:17:27 - Last edited on 19-May-2012 15:31:45 by Jimothey

22-May-2012 23:32:17