forums.rs

Forums

The noob who knows what to do?

Quick find code: 49-50-64-63729250

of 6
Jimothey
Apr Member 2010

Jimothey

Posts: 4,425 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Hmm... ok!
Bob: okay guys, it's been a month and a half since James has been gone. I suspect he's here in the Lumbridge swamps...
Alioss: *sob*
Bob: what's wrong?
Alioss: oh... *sniff* i've been thinking about how many potatoes... died there... *cries*
Jad: we may not be able to recognize him, so i'll track him down using his taste!
Bob: don't you mean smell?
Jad: no, his taste! i'll taste the ground for any sign of him.
Bob: but... ho-
Jad: I bit him once, okay?
Bob: uhh... okay...? I guess Jad'll lead the way...
at the lumbridge swamps...
Bob: okay, Jad, start tasting! The rest of us will inspect the area for any other signs of hi-
Candle seller: wanna buy a candle? only 1k!
Bob: we're good...
20 minutes later...
Bob: *shouting across the swamp* any sign of him?
Iskwil: nope!
Jad: nope. stupid decaying taste...
Alioss: *shouting back* well I've obviously got one! i got it 20 minutes ago!
Bob: *shouting back* then why did the narrator make us spend 20 minutes finding him?
Because it's funny!
Bob: grr... well, there's n- *hears a mushy footstep nearby* *shouting to alioss* wait, Alioss, where did you see him?
Alioss: *shouting back* behind you. why?
Bob: *dramatically looks behind to see James* oh, hey.
James: sup.
Bob: why have you been gone so long?
James: well...
flashback time!
Fox person: You will pay for the crimes you put against us poor animals!
James: I was just training hunter...
Wolf person: SILENCE!
Panda person: That's not why. You are not wearing an animal outfit!
James: wait, THAT'S why?
Cat person: yes! now go get an animal outfit and work in our JB shrine&toy factory!
James: AAAAHHH!!!
Wolf person: AND get your own JB shrine and 100 JB toys!
James: NNNNNNNNN*NO******************OOO!!!!!!!!!
Back to the present
James: such... torment...
Bob: wow, that really IS horrifying! I am so sorry...
James: *psst* I threw away the shrine and toys by the way!
Bob: well, now it's HALF as horrifying.
Da End
Animal people: or is it...?
Uhh... yeah...? Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm in Pompeii, I'm lost.

02-Oct-2012 22:38:25 - Last edited on 14-Oct-2012 01:01:42 by Jimothey

Jimothey
Apr Member 2010

Jimothey

Posts: 4,425 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Now, drum-roll please, the Halloween special!
Not one story, but 2!
Story 1 - Scream of fright!
at Burthorpe...
Epic: walking through Burthorpe* dumm-dee dumm dumm...
*lightning flashes*
Epic: huh? *saw an odd looking person in the distance* strange... *walks at a slightly slower pace*
*lightning flashes again, with the person closer*
Epic: okay, now I'm getting freaked out... *turns around*
???: *faintly* heinous...
Epic: <_< >_> NO HEINOUS! *runs*
???: *faintly, but louder* infernal...
Epic: NO! *runs faster*
???: *loudly* INVADERS!
Epic: AAAH! *freaks out, derps out, freak-derps out, and head explodes* X_X
???: dude, it's just me! Ja- oh...
Epic: DUDE! WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT!? ...and, what's on your face? did you get hit with the ugly stick?
James: Just wanted to scare somebody :P and what I'm wearing is a ghoul mask. It transformed me into a ghost so I could scare you! It totally worked!
Epic: okay, you got me, now lemme pick up my stuff. *gets stuff from gravestone*
James: yeah, it did. see how this guy's using it?
???: ...
Epic: James...
James: yeah?
Epic: look...
James: *slowly turns around* holy CRAAAP! O_O
???: RAAARGH!
James and Epic: AAAH! *runs into Warrior's guild*
James: *pant* what... *pant* the hell... *pant* was that!?
Epic: I... *pant* don't know... I think we lost it... *looks outside to see the ghost* NOPE!
James: we gotta do something! wait, that looks like a halloween event ghost! you got an ectoplasmator?
Epic: yeah? why?
James: use it to kill the ghost!
Epic: ok! *goes outside* uhh... uhh...
Ghost: RAARGH!
Epic: AAAH! *throws ectoplasmator at the ghost*
Ghost: *gets sucked into the ectoplasmator* GRRARGH!
Epic: I... think... we did it...
Bob: *walks in* hey guys.
Epic: noob.
Bob: and the usual every-day trolling happens. You guys seen Allioss? she dressed up as a ghost and told me to meet her here.
James and Epic: Uhhh... *runs off*
Ectoplasmator: mmph!
Bob: Allioss? ... oh those sly MOTHERFU-
The end! Stay tuned for a story and a short! Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm in Pompeii, I'm lost.

26-Oct-2012 06:52:24 - Last edited on 26-Oct-2012 06:55:17 by Jimothey

Jimothey
Apr Member 2010

Jimothey

Posts: 4,425 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Now for the 2nd story!

Story 2 - Army of Kril
At Varrock...
Beta: *killing Halloween event ghosts*
Iskwil: how are y PKing?
Beta: i'm not. this is an actual ghost for the newer Halloween part. nobody is wearing a mask.
Iskwil: oh.
Merchant: FIRE AT GE! RRRUUUUUUUNNN!!!
Iskwil: what's going on!?
Beta: better check it out!
At GE...
Kril: My children, the time has come to get our Zamorakin stuff back!
Kril's army: YEAH!
Kril: LET'S GO GET ZAMMY STUFF!
Kril's army: W00T!!!!@$!
Beta: it's Kril! He's out of the GWD! must be a glitch.
Person: LOLOLOLOL IM MOVING IN MY GHOUL MASK AS A GHOST LOLOLOLOLOLOL
Iskwil: yep. it's a glitch.
Beta: good thing Jagex packed me with this glitchkiller.
Iskwil: then go up to Kril and kill him!
Beta: it doesn't work that way, it has to kill the core of the glitch.
Iskwil: hey look, people dressed as Kril are yelling "get the SoF lover and man in orange!"
Beta: Crap! run!
Iskwil and Beta run into Draynor Mansion, where a Scooby-Doo style chase-scene takes action, also involving a "Phr33 S700f P10X?" noob, Count Draynor, Professor Oddenstein, and a mysterious figure, and sometimes it gets mixed up with who's chasing who
At the marketplace...
Beta: *pant* I think... we lost them...
Iskwil: *pant* yeah... you don't suppose the glitch came from the new Solomon's store update?
Beta: yeah, I mean it involved Kril. I think I should shoot the gun at Solomon, right?
Iskwil: you mean actually kill him?
Beta: no, the gun doesn't actually kill anything, I'll just tell Solomon that there's a glitch involving his new outfits, he'll let me shoot him, he'll still be alive, and everything will be back to normal! *goes to Solomon's Store*
At Solomon's Store...
Beta: hey Solomon, listen, there's a glitch involving one of your outfits, can I shoot you with this gun?
Solomon: ... meh. got nothing else to live for.
Beta: this won't kill you by the way. *shoots*
elsewhere...
Kril: NNNOOOO!!!
Iskwil: That was easy.
The end! Stay tuned for the short! Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm in Pompeii, I'm lost.

26-Oct-2012 19:47:43

Jimothey
Apr Member 2010

Jimothey

Posts: 4,425 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
still, here's da short story!
Halloween FINALE: possessed!

At GE...
Iskwil: OMG U GUYS I GOT PUMPKIN AMMY!!!#!!%@!!%!
Bob: huh. nice.
Epic: sad.
Iskwil: *shoots Epic with a lucky shotgun*
Epic: OWW!! WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO KILL ME!?
Iskwil: yup!
Bob: where'd you get that lucky shotgun?
Iskwil: what shotgun? it's not an item, not even from SoF.
Bob: ...
Iskwil: well, gonna go train! it's double xp weekend!
5 hours later...
Iskwil: OMG GOTTA KEEP TRAINING!!!#!%!
Allioss: is he ok?
James: I'm sure he's fine.
Iskwil: *spins, gets a sugar skull, and discards it* stupid skulls.
James: yep. He's broken. Hey Beta Tester, you got the antiglitch gun?
Beta: yup. *shows the gun all bloody*
Allioss: ...
Beta: don't ask.
James: *licks the gun* mmm... *sucks on the gun*
Beta: he likes blood, doesn't he?
Allioss: sometimes human flesh.
Beta: ok. Now James, gimme the gun.
James: what's the magic word?
Beta: please give me the gun...
James: waah! I don't wanna!
Beta: How about we trade? Epic's wound for the gun. Deal?
Epic: WHAT!?
James: hmm... I dunno... he was shot in the groin...
Allioss: *casts "Potato guesomeness" on Epic's head*
Epic: *gets hit in the head, with the skull split open* OOWWW!!! WHY!?!?
Beta: that wound?
James: ... OKAI!!#!%!! *gives Beta the gun and sucks on Epic's head wound* mmm...
Epic: owww.....
James: wait, Allioss, how'd you get out of the Ectoplasmator?
Allioss: I turned it into a potato and got out through the root. The potato didn't get hurt btw.
James: yeah, but, how'd you... *sniff* *sniff*... FIRE! *leans Epic's head onto the fire to cook it*
Allioss: now to wait for-
Beta: done.
Iskwil: *gets sugar skulls from a spin* YEY! :D James: yep he's back.
Da end! You know, now that I thinkabout it, this special wasn't so scary, was it? hmm... lemme think... THE GAME!
Audience: AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!#@%!^!!^!!!!
Works every time ;)
Now that was it! Hope you guys enjoyed the series' very first Halloween special! See you on Thanksgiving! Or will I...? Ok ya. Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm in Pompeii, I'm lost.

28-Oct-2012 04:14:41

Jimothey
Apr Member 2010

Jimothey

Posts: 4,425 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
'tis time for the Thanksgiving special!
At Lumbridge dining room...
Duke: Thank you for saving this council from that evil chef!
James: NO pro-
*BOOM!*
James: what the- oh not again, **** OFF YA *****! *picks up a rune crossbow and fires a broad bolt from it and misses*
???: I'm not the Culinaromancer!
James: then who are you?
???: The new narrator!
I'm still hi-
???: *kills the old narrator* NOW I'm the new narrator! From now on, we're gonna be a bunch of sellouts!
James: OH HELL NO! *tackles ??? out of the window* Wait, is that your name?
???: yup.
James: hm. Anyways, YOU AINT GONNA CHANGE THIS! I will stop you!
???: Pfft, you and what army? *snaps fingers and a bunch of ninjas come in*
Ninja1: Katana, *******.
James: Crap! The changes are setting in! *calls Snake* Snake! you gotta- whoops, wrong number! *hangs up* This aint over, bro.
at Bob's Friends chat
James: GUYS! THERE'S A NEW NARRA-
Bob: noob.
James: OH CRAP! IT'S HAPPENING ALREADY!
Bob: what?
James: thank goodness... I thought you changed, Bob! Anyways, there's this new narrator and he's changing EVERYTHING!
All: New narrator... MUST STOP HIM.
James: NOT THE MEMES TOO!
At the wilderness...
(??? is walking in a moving group of guards)
(hiding)
James: so what's the plan?
Allioss: okay, so we're gonna block the guards' path, then I'll give the signal, so we att- okay, AC3 is getting in here, let's just attack.
James: NOW!
The entire group jumps out and attacks the guards, 4 guards die in the fight, and the remaining guards carry the injured guards and ???.
???: HA! Thought you could get me? well, now I'm no longer aiming to be a mere sellout, now I'm aiming to destroy the series and make it my own! Starting with this chapter!
Bob: *coughs blood* ugh... no... *reaches and faints*
At Duel Arena hospital...
Jad: pie?
Bob: *wakes up* ugh... what happened?
Iskwil: you got hit in the stomach, and now we gotta stop ???.
Bob: *eats a lobster* ok.
To be continued! Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm in Pompeii, I'm lost.

22-Nov-2012 03:18:21

Jimothey
Apr Member 2010

Jimothey

Posts: 4,425 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
a second later...

Varrock Herald guy: extra extra! Man is murdered near Falador!
Bob: who is this man?
Varrock Herald guy: his name was &quot;???&quot;
Bob: oh. well, this is too anticlimactic. Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm in Pompeii, I'm lost.

15-Dec-2012 17:14:42

Jimothey
Apr Member 2010

Jimothey

Posts: 4,425 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Christmas special!

Short: IRL Christmas traditions in RuneScape!


1: Tree

Billy: Ooh! This one! *points to a nice looking Douglas Fur (or &quot;evergreen&quot; in Runescape)*
**. Gherret: Hm. Nice pick! I think this is the one!
Tree farmer: This the one?
Mr. Gherret: Yup. You can cut it down!
Tree farmer: Okay. *chops down tree in 3 seconds and gets logs with a higher woodcutting level* Whup. Sorry. Now, where's my 30k?
Mr. Gherret: *sigh...* okay, here. *gives the tree farmer 30k*
Tree farmer: *checks money* What, no tip?
Mr. Gherret: Uh... Billy?
Billy: I got 300gp in my pocket*
**. Gherret: Okay. *takes the money and gives it to the tree farmer* *whispers to Billy* We really need to get a tree IRL.


2: Caroling

Door: Ding-dong!
Kevin: Comi- wait, since when does my door talk?
Door: uhh... I mean *silence*
Kevin: ... and since when do people ask to come in through the DOOR?
Door: aw cra- *disappears*
Kevin: *exits house portal*
Carolers: We wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Christmas, we wi-
Kevin: If you want money, then I don't ca- wait, since when do people CAROL in RuneScape?
Caroler 1: It's a way of begging!
Kevin: ... *enters house and locks portal* okay, now back to be-
Carolers: *private chatting Kevin* *spams* we wish you a merry Christmas, we wish you a merry Chri-
Kevin: FFFFFFUUUUUUUUU-


3: Feast

Benjamin: So what's for dinner tonight, mom?
Mrs. Renellas: Dinner? We don't need to eat! We're at full hp!
Benjamin: Oh yeah.
Mrs. Renellas: What's dinner anyways?
Benjamin: Oh, i- wait... I dunno... WHAT IS DINNER!?
All: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH-


4: gifts

Jenna: OO! what's it go- *sees the Gift of Giving* what's this?
Mr. Yeskil: It's the Gift of Giving!
Mrs. Yeskil: Yeah! Open it!
Jenna: Just saying, but it looks like a snow imp threw up a snowball.
Mrs. Yeskil: That's because one did! Now open it!
Jenna: ... okay. *opens and sees a Santa sack* OO! Thanks! Now open your gift, mom!
Mrs. Yeskil: OO! what's it go- *sees the Gift of Giving* ...


:P Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm in Pompeii, I'm lost.

24-Dec-2012 06:39:05 - Last edited on 24-Dec-2012 06:39:22 by Jimothey

Jimothey
Apr Member 2010

Jimothey

Posts: 4,425 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Bob's Christmas


Near rimmington...

James: *humming &quot;jingle bells&quot; in a derpy tune with a few mess-ups* *sees Bob* Hey Bob! Merry Christmas!
Bob: Wait, Christmas?
James: Yeah, it's tomorrow!
Bob: I know that, but I don't celebrate Christmas.
James: *gasp* you don't celebrate it!
Bob: Yeah, cuz I- *sees that James left* Aand he's gone.

At Falador...
James: *private messaging his friends* guys, we need to give Bob a Christmas!
All that James private messaged: *teleports to Fally square*
Allioss: this had better be important, I was in the middle of building a potato hospita- wait, why are &quot;oldguy69&quot;, the Corporeal Beast, Nomad, and a bot your friends?
James: Oldguy needed money, Corp fell on hard times when his title of toughest boss was beaten by Nex, promised Nomad a pure soul, and not my friend. *kills the bot* So, any ideas on giving Bob his first Christmas?
Allioss: How about getting him a pet at his summoning level?
James: Not a good idea.
Allioss: Why?
James: He's 99 summoning... and slayer...

*in James' thought bubble*
Bob: Nice... TzRek-Jad... good bo- AWW CRAP WHY!?

*back to reality*
James: Yeah, that's why.
Iskwil: How about a free spin ticket?
James: Too cheap.
Epic: give him nothing?
James: Nobody asked you.
Beta tester: Closed beta trials?
James: I don't think Jagex will allow it.
Nomad: Souls?
James: No.
Corporeal Beast: Spirit essence?
James: Nah.
Oldman: Give me GP?
James: Later.
Jad: Why don't we give him a normal Christmas?
James: *gets 5 in a row* Bingo.
Oldman: Aww! I only have 4 in a row!
James: Also, good Idea, Jad.

At Rimmington house portal...
James: Okay, on 3. One, two...

In Bob's house...
All but Bob: merry Chri- *sees a Menorah on the dining table*
James: Huh. That's why you don't celebrate Christmas. Sorry guys.
All but James: That's alright. No problem.
James: Well, uh... happy Hanukkah!

Da End. Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm in Pompeii, I'm lost.

24-Dec-2012 17:55:28

Quick find code: 49-50-64-63729250 Back to Top