RuneScape Forum Archive | Feel the Silence

Crystal Smee

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Yo. So I wrote an add, and then unfortunately my internet died. I'm on my phone right now - you may have to wait until we get this fixed. I can't ***** it myself to post here

in a few days I'm going to my friend's house and I'll steal her wifi

06-Jun-2010 00:09:37

Chuk

Posts: 14,177 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Damn internet. :\
We'll be waiting.

06-Jun-2010 00:34:07

Crystal Smee

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The warm morning sun felt good on her face. She stretched languidly, tightening Lucas’ arm around her waist. It felt so good to have him here with her, to be in his bed, safe and warm. Forget the day’s tasks, she’d just lay here in the sun and – Lucas’ room was on the west side of the castle. Lucas’ windows faced west. They were too low beneath the walls to get good light.
There was no way Lucas’ room could receive morning sunlight.
Lucas was in the war –
-- No, Lucas was dead.
She jerked away from James, screaming and flailing wildly until she toppled off the bed. She crumpled in a heap on the floor, sobbing as it all hit her again in a wave. Lucas was dead, gone; she’d never wake up in his arms again.
James was beside her in an instant, folding his arms around her. She shoved him away. How could he touch her? How could he be near her, when she was such a vile, disgusting person? She felt repulsive, disgusting, disturbed to be in her own skin. Something deep in her chest was clenched, threatening to suffocate her.
“Let go of me!” she shrieked, and clawed away from him.
“Justine—“
“What have I done?” she gapsed. “I have to – I have to go.” She stumbled upright towards the door. He lunged for her arm.
“Wait-“
She threw him off. “Stay away from me! Just…stay away. I can’t be near you anymore.” She fled the room and raced down the halls, bare feet slapping on the tiled floors. Her hair streamed out behind her, and she ran so fast it looked like she was fleeing for her life. She was escaping James, but she was also escaping the memories. Not that she could ever outrun them.

“Justine, wait up!”
She skidded around a corner, slipped on the edge of the carpet, and fell. He raced toward her, kneeling beside her.
“Are you all right?”
“Fine. Just leave me alone.”
“You know I can’t.”
“Damnit, Lucas, you have to. My father will kill you.”

08-Jun-2010 02:54:07 - Last edited on 08-Jun-2010 02:54:45 by Crystal Smee

Crystal Smee

Posts: 7,994 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

“So he caught us! Who cares?”
She brushed off his touch and curled into herself. “I do. He’s the advisor to the king. He can do anything he wants. He can get you in a lot of trouble.”
“I don’t care," he stated simply, redoing the buttons on his shirt.
“I just wish we hadn’t been caught.”
“Why? Because now he knows you’re not a ******?” He left off tucking in his shirt to cross his arms and shoot her an angry stare.
“Who will marry me now?* She knew what was going through her father’s head right now. That was what he would be thinking about, that he wouldn’t be able to marry her off to some rich lord. Nobody would take a girl who had already become a woman. It wasn’t socially acceptable, and that was all Lord Grey worried about, was social norms. She did*’t understand why Lucas’ face had crumpled, why he suddenly released her and stood, backing away.
“What’s wrong?”
“Who’s going to marry you?” He looked at her incredulously. “Who’s going to – ME!” He walked toward the wall, leaned against it, then paced back and forth again. “What about me?”
“What are you talking about it?”
“I’d marry you! I’ve always wanted to marry you. But clearly the cook’s son is so lowly you won’t even consider him, even if he is the one in your bed every night!”
He walked away, trembling, and she jumped in front of him. She grabbed him, but he wouldn’t look at her. “What am I to you?” he snarled. “Some servant you can use and then toss aside?”
“I love you!”
“And what of it?”
“I’d marry you, but my father would never consent.”
“So that’s it then. I don’t give a damn about your father or what he thinks.” He huffed a sigh. “You say you hate him, you say you want to be out from under his thumb, and yet you hide behind what Daddy thinks every chance you get. I’d wait, Justine, as long as it took for him to accept me, I’d wait.”
“Lucas—“

08-Jun-2010 02:56:44

Crystal Smee

Posts: 7,994 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

“No.* He shoved her off him. “I guess this was a waste, then.” He dug into his pocket, then tossed something small and glittering on the floor – a ring! “If I’d known there was no chance, I wouldn’t have bothered. I would have taken you – your – I just – I wouldn’t have.” Fighting tears, he quickly bolted in the other direction, leaving Justine holding a ring that was a promise and an ending, a symbol of all she had done to hurt him in their time together.

“Justine.”
Justine turned to him with unseeing eyes, stuck in the memory. In both times, Gray stood over her. In both times, Gray said, “He’s gone. Let him go.”
-- He was dead --
-- He’d just run off –
-- She’d never see him again –
-- She’d driven him away. That much was true.
She recoiled in horror from her father’s grasp.
“Let me help you.”
“No!* Upright, she staggered backwards away. The world spun around her, and she grabbed the edge of a tapestry to hold herself upright. “You’ve never wanted to help me.”
“I’ve always looked out for your best interests, my dear.”
“My best – you did this, father. You killed him!”
“Did I hold the sword that stabbed his leg?”
“You drove him to this. You drove him away.”
“I never would have let him marry you,” Gray declared, enraged.
“Then he died for nothing!” She was shrieking now.
*I never told him to go.”
“Gods, he would have done anything to win your approval!”
“No servant’s boy could ever be worthy of my daughter!”
“You never gave him a chance. He would have done anything for – for me.” She stopped, swallowed hard. “This is my fault. I did this. I –“ She staggered into the wall. Her father jumped to her side and offered his hand.
“Let me take you home, dear.”
“If you touch me again, I’ll have you killed,” she croaked, her voice raw.
Gray let go and backed away. “I wish we hadn’t come to this,” he said gently.
Justine said nothing.

08-Jun-2010 02:58:44

Crystal Smee

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“That’s it then?”
She coughed. “That’s it.”
Gray nodded. “Well, then.” He opened his mouth, as if to say something else, but turned instead and walked slowly away. Justine fled the castle and lost herself in the streets, in the pressure of the crowds. They flowed on both sides in all directions, hawking goods, shouting, sweating in the summer sun. The market place was just ahead, and she welcomed the familiar battle to take her mind off Lucas. She slipped between the other bodies, among people who wanted nothing from her, who asked no questions about her red and puffy eyes. Out here, she was invisible. She wanted to disappear, just vanish, just cease to exist. It would be easier than trying to find a way to cope with everything that had gone wrong in her life.
It was too much. She couldn’t escape it, not even here in the throng of people who had no idea that their husbands, sons, and brothers had been slaughtered half a world away a few short weeks ago. None of them knew. Word did*’t travel. Letters were only just making their way into the city now from the soldiers recovering in Falador. She wondered, briefly, if there were any letters from Lucas waiting for her. Tears welled in her eyes again, and she felt a stabbing pain shoot through her head, followed by a wave of dizziness and black spots flashing before her eyes. She stumbled, crashed into an old woman, almost fell, and staggered out of the crowd into the shade of an overhang. She steadied herself by leaning against the wall, but the pain did*’t go away. She needed help.
She gazed at the buildings around her and realized she was near the meat vendors. The stench of raw meat all around her did not help the headache. But just beyond this, she knew, was someone who could help her.

08-Jun-2010 02:59:52

Crystal Smee

Posts: 7,994 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Beyond the slaughterhouses were the tanners, and just beyond that, a small apothecary’s shop on the outskirts of the market center. She moved quickly, keeping to the outside, avoiding the crowds, clinging to walls when her balance threatened to desert her. In a few minutes, she found the shop again and stumbled inside. A bell tinkled overhead, announcing her entrance.
“Mirienne?”
“Hello?”
Mirienne rushed to Justine’s side. “Justine! Are you all right? Please, sit.” She ushered Justine into a chair and knelt beside her. “What’s wrong?”
“My head –“ she said, gritting her teeth against the pulsing pain.
“What happened?” Mirienne pried Justine’s hands away from her head, then began to slowly massage her temples. “Close your eyes and talk to me.”
Justine leaned back in the chair, relaxing slightly under the other woman’* experienced touch. For a moment, she envisioned Lucas in front of her, his long, slender fingers massaging her, running through her hair. Her throat closed up as tears streamed down her cheeks, and she coughed wetly. “It just started hurting. I did*’t know where else to go.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I got…some bad news. It’s Lucas. He – he’s – there was a battle in Falador. I heard from my father, but I guess word hasn’t really got out yet. There was a siege, they attacked, something – I don’t know. But Lucas, he got hurt. In the leg. It got infected. And he’s…he’s dead.”
“Gods,” Mirienne whispered, her hands falling to Justine’s shoulders. “I am so sorry.”
Justine bent her head, sobbing. “I don’t know what I do now. And Gods, what about your husband? Have you heard from him?”
“Nothing yet.”
“I hope he’s okay.”
Mirienne smiled wanly. “Me too. But oh, Justine, I can’t even…I am so sorry.”

08-Jun-2010 03:01:09

Crystal Smee

Posts: 7,994 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

“I have nobody to turn to. My father, well, he’s overjoyed. And – “ She leapt upright in horror. “Oh, no, no, no. Lucas’ parents! They don’t know!” She ran for the door, stumbling as another wave of dizziness rolled through her. “I’m sorry, Mirienne, I have to go.”
“I understand. I hope your head is okay. Get some rest.”
“I hope your husband is okay.” Justine wiped at her tears and slipped out the door. She ran through the streets, heedless of the pulsing pain in her head. She was trying to think through the fog of what she could possibly say to his parents. They had to know the truth. But they would hate her. They blamed her. And of course, it was her fault; she drove Lucas away. These thoughts almost knocked her over again, and she clung to the wall to stay on her feet.
“Justine!”
Hooves thudded to a halt beside her. She lifted her heavy head and squinted at the shape on the horse. “Justine, stop.”
She kept walking.
“Stop! What’s the matter with you?”
She whirled, then wavered dangerously. He vaulted from the saddle, but she flinched away when he approached. “Don’t touch me. I have to get back.”
“Let me take you.”
“No. I don’t want your help. Go away, James.”
His jaw clenched. “I’m getting sick of this routine, you know. You, just running from me all the time, yelling at me – how dare you speak to me like that, when I have been nothing but kind to you?”
“Nobody asked you for your kindness, James!”
He held his hands up in defeat. “Well then. I suppose I won’t offer it anymore. I just wanted you to know that I care…”
“Well stop caring. I don’t need you.”
“You need a friend.”

08-Jun-2010 03:02:12

Crystal Smee

Posts: 7,994 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

“I need Lucas!” Her voice shook dangerously. Why wouldn’t he just leave her alone? Why did*’t he understand that all she ever needed was Lucas, here, by her side? That James could never replace him? That his unwarranted kindness only made her feel guiltier than before? “Can you give me him?”
Silence.
“Then stay away.”
He shook his head in disgust, staring at her for a long time. When she did*’t back down, he climbed on his horse and galloped away. It was a long and lonely walk back to the castle for Justine.

08-Jun-2010 03:04:46

Crystal Smee

Posts: 7,994 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

So, there it is. Not my best, for which I apologize. There's a lot of dialogue, some of which may be repetitive...I wrote this in parts...Yeah. Basically, Justine is just burning all of her bridges. Mental breakdown. I hope that's what comes through...

08-Jun-2010 03:06:22

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Feel the Silence