RuneScape Forum Archive | Feel the Silence

CaptChekaka

Posts: 35,595 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

'Done' means we can post, right?
If so, yay! If not,

.
Anyway, I wonder what this'll be.

~` Admiral Chek `~

26-May-2008 21:30:12

Crystal Smee

Posts: 7,994 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Yeah, you can post, I've posted everything I had so far.
I hope you like it. =)

26-May-2008 21:35:40

Dec

2023

Poller5

Posts: 11,421 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Bwaha, Smee's back with another story!
Now to read it

26-May-2008 21:38:01

The contents of this message have been hidden.

26-May-2008 21:38:20

CaptChekaka

Posts: 35,595 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

I've read it, and I liked it. Nicely done. ^_^

~` Admiral Chek `~

26-May-2008 21:39:15

Dec

2023

Poller5

Posts: 11,421 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Ah, good work, Smee.
One error, however:
It wasn’t a happy smile, but an insane smile as the fear gripped him, like nervous laughter.
~~~
I'm pretty that the last comma is unnecessary.

26-May-2008 21:41:53

[#42J4VY9ZL]

Posts: 20,624 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Complete bull-.
I wasn't the first poster.

26-May-2008 23:31:24

Crystal Smee

Posts: 7,994 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

=P

Poller: I disagree. I think if you took away the comma, the "like nervous laughter" would be describing the fear, rather than the way he smiled. I might be wrong, though, I'm not good with grammar. But that's the way it would read to me.

26-May-2008 23:45:28

[#42J4VY9ZL]

Posts: 20,624 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

I just read it all. I really like it, although some of the action in the beginning post seemed a bit blurry to me. Oh well; I was eating and reading.

26-May-2008 23:46:38

Crystal Smee

Posts: 7,994 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Blurry how?

26-May-2008 23:56:27

Forums

Feel the Silence