RuneScape Forum Archive | Three Confused Noobs

Oct

2020

Zevulon

Posts: 6,161 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

noob2: Woah! Big castle!
noob3: Big!
noob2: Very big!
noob3: Very very big!
noob2: ...
noob3: ...?
noob1: DONT START THAT AGAIN!!
noob2: Yeah, hes right.
noob3: Oh yeah?! You'll regret it!
noob2: ...
noob3: ...?
*noob1 starts crying*
noob2: Whats wrong noob1?
*noob1 stares at noob2*
noob3: Umm, he asked you, what's wrong?
noob1: ... is wrong!
noob3: ...?
*noob1 ties noob3 to a light post*
noob1: noob3, it would be better if you didn't come.
noob3: ...!
noob2: Oy! He said ...! He got it!
noob3: ...?
noob1: noob2!!! LETS GO!!!!
noob2: Yeah, before it gets any worse!
noob3: WHY WONT ANYONE TELL ME WHAT ... MEANS!!!
So noob1 and noob2 head into the lumbridge castle.
*noobs1 and 2 aproach door*
noob1: So this is it!
noob2: Going to attack the duke....
noob1: Mm......
noob2: noob1.
noob1: Yes, noob2?
noob2: Im scared!
noob1: noob2! Its just a castle!
noob2: No, its noob3!
*noob1 sees noob3 gnawing at the light post*
noob1: Umm, he'll be fine. Now lets go!
*doors fly open*
noob2: Gee Wiz!
*noob3 yells from the distance*
noob3: Gee wiz?! Nerd!
noob2: ...!
noob3: WHAT THE HECK DOES THAT MEAN?!
noob2: Muahaha!
noob1: Umm, who's at the door??
Hans: Oh my gee!
noob3: Muahaha! Oh my Gee?! You're worse than noob2!
Hans: Our castle is being attacked by ogres!
noob3: OGRES?!?!
Hans: OGRES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
noob3: OMG!!! NOOB1!!! UNTIE ME!!!!!
noob1: WHY?!
noob3: OGRES!!! THEY EAT ME!!! GIMME OUTTA HERE!!!
Cook: Oh, dont mind Hans.
noob2: Why?
Cook: He always thinks we are in serious danger.
noob3: YOU ARE!!!!! OGRES!!!!!!!!
Cook: We werent being attack by ogres.
noob1: Than what were you being attacked by?
Cook: Not even being attacked. An imp got into our castle.
Hans: AND THIS ISNT SOMETHING TO WORRY ABOUT?!?!
*Imp kicks Hans in the shin and runs away*
Hans: Oh...my...gosh...Cook, gimme a Mantaray!
Cook: Hans, I'd rather have you die than giving away a mantaray.
Hans: Ughh...I hate the cook. noob3! Dont you agree?
*noob3 gnaws at the lamp post*
noob3: OGRES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

16-May-2012 04:46:20

Oct

2020

Zevulon

Posts: 6,161 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Cook: Come on, you noobs.
noob3: NO! DON'T LEAVE ME! OGRES WILL GET ME!
Cook: So, what brings you noobs into the castle of lumbridge?
noob1: Well-
Hans: OMG! We are being attacked by ogres!!!
Cook: Hans, that isnt an ogre! It is a small spider....
Hans: HE'S GONNA EAT ME!!!!
*the level 1 spider gnaws the shoelace off of hans's shoe*
Hans: OMG!!! Call 911!
Cook: Hans, he just took your shoelace!
Hans: EXACTLY! How am I supposed to tie my shoes now?!
Cook: Hans, I tied your shoelaces. Not you.
Hans: THAN HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TOO!
Cook: Just go craft one!
Hans: Okay!
*Hans takes out a chisel*
Cook: Good, now heres a piece of cloth.
*the cook throws Hans a long cloth*
Hans: Now what?
Cook: Use the chisel to cut the cloth into a shoelace!
Hans: Okay!
*he starts cutting but accidently scratches his finger*
Hans: OMG!!! INTERNAL BLEEDING!!!
Cook: Hans, it isnt even bleeding!
*screams so loudly it made noob3 stop gnawing at the post and look over*
Hans: THATS EVEN WORSE!!!!
Cook: How, Hans? How is it worse?
Hans: THAT MEANS I HAVE NO BLOOD LEFT!!!
*the cook scratches Hans with a kitchen knife*
Hans: WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!?!
Cook: Look.
*Hans's arm starts bleeding for 2 seconds, then stops*
Hans: INTERNAL BLEEDING!!!!!!
noob2: OMG! I'll show you internal bleeding!
*noob2 stabs Hans with his bronze dagger*
Hans: Ow. Can I have a bandaid?
Cook: YOU WANT A DOCTER FOR A SMALL SCRATCH, BUT YOU JUST WANT A BANDAID WHEN YOU HAVE A HUGE **** IN YOU CHEST?!?!
Hans: Umm......
*Hans dies of internal bleeding*
Cook: Now that Hans has died of enternal bleeding-
noob2: Yes, sir?
Cook: It's just your buddy over there.
*noobs look out window and see noob3 violently kicking the light post*
noob2: Umm, he'll be fine. So you were saying.
Cook: Well, what did you come to the castle for?
noob1: Well we-
*noob3 slams the doors open*
noob3: YIPPEE!!!!!
noob1: noob3!!! How did you get free?!
noob3: Umm....
*noob3 shows that he has no left arm*
noob1: noob3! You gnawed your arm off?!

16-May-2012 04:48:13

Oct

2020

Zevulon

Posts: 6,161 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

noob3: Well, I was scared....
noob2: of what?
noob3: OGRES!!!!
noob2: There were no ogres....
noob3: Oh....
noob1: Why didnt you just gnaw the rope I tied you with?
noob3: .......Wow you ARE smarter than me!
noob1: *sigh*
*noob1 kills noob3*
*noob3 reappears and comes back*
noob3: YOU KNOW, YOU THINK IT DOESNT HURT BUT IT REALLY-
*noob3 realizes he got his arm back*
noob3: oh....
Cook: Now, why did you come.
noob1: Well, we were wanting to see the duke of lumbridge!
Cook: Sorry, he left. Only Hans knows where...but-
*the cook stares at Hans's dead body next to a puddle of blood*
noob3: Ohh, he DID have blood left....
noobs1&2: YEAH!!
So the three noobs try to figure out where the duke of lumbridge is.
noob1: Hans! Wake up!
noob3: OGRES!!!
noob2: Hans, we know you arent dead. You are breathing.
noob3: OGRES DID THIS TO HIM!! WE ARE NEXT!!!
noob2: noob3, be quiet, I killed Hans.
noob1: No, I killed Hans!
noob3: No, I killed Hans!
noob4: No, I killed Hans!
noob1: noob4, shut up. you arent supposed to be in this story!
noob2: Yeah, its 5:00 anyways!
noob4: OMG! Im missing The Big Bang Theory!
*noob4 logs out*
noob1: Ugh, how can he stand watching that show?!
noob3: Good thing he wont bother us again.
noob1: Yeah. noob4!!!! LOOK AT THE TITLE!
noob2: Yeah, its, THREE Confused Noobs! Not 4!
noob1: Ugh, curse noob4. Good thing he will never return!
noob2: ....Or so we hope.
*dun dun dun*
noob1: Ugh...HANS!!! THERE ARE OGRES EATING YOU!!
*Hans jumps to his feet*
Hans: Where?!
noob1: *snicker*
Hans: Omg!!! I cant beleive those noobs tricked me! Naughty little noobs...
noob1: Umm hans...
Hans: Yes, naughty? heh heh heh....
noob1: OMG!!!! LETS GET THE HECK OUTTA HERE!!
*noobs run away*
Hans: Wait! Naughties! The duke is in Varrock!
noob1: Ugh, hes worse tha**noob4!
noob2: Well, now we know where the duke is!
So the three noobs head to talk to the duke.

16-May-2012 04:50:02

Oct

2020

Zevulon

Posts: 6,161 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

noob3: Are we there yet?
noob1: No
noob2: Shut up noob3, you know we arent there.
noob3: Well, weve been walking for HOURS!!!
noob1: noob3, we havent even left the cheet code castle yet.
noob3: Oh.
Hans: OGRES!!!
noob1: NO, THERE ARE NO OGRES!!!!!!!!
noob2: Yeah, its probably just another imp for something.
noob3: Or..... A REAL OGRE!!!
noob1: noob3, I promise you it isnt a real ogre!
*ogre enters castle*
noob3: YOU PROMISED!!!!!!
noobs12&3: Uh oh.....
noob1: Oh, he did the thing!
noob2: What thing!?
noob1: The cheat code....
noob2: OMG! Who?
noob1: He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!
noob2: .....noob3?
noob1: No, noob3 can be named.
noob2: that's noob4!
*noob1 flinches*
noob1: That name must ONLY go by, "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!"
noob2: Sorry...
noob1: Anyways, this is a different he who must not be named!
noob2: *gasp* who? Tell me!
noob1: Umm, I forget.
noob2: Idiot...
noob1: Didnt it start with a Q or something?
noob3: No, it was Dima110! Dima110!
noob1: noob2, we will soon be forced to put noob3 on the He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named list.
noob2: True to the max!
noob1: Yeah, hes just talking mumbo-jumbo like "Dima110"
noob2: Teehee.
noob1: What?
noob2: Teehee. I like that word. Mumbo jumbo! hehe
noob1: Shut up. Hehe, Dima110, thats the silliest thing I've ever heard.
noob3: *insulted out*

16-May-2012 04:51:50 - Last edited on 16-May-2012 04:52:06 by Zevulon

Oct

2020

Zevulon

Posts: 6,161 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Ogre: Me eats you!
noob1: Oh my!
noob2: Omg! Hes gonna eat us!
noob3: Hey guys, have you ever wondered- OMG, AN OGRE!!
*Ogre eats Hans*
noob1: Stand guard noobs, we wont let him eat us!
*Ogre walks away*
noob1: Oh, I guess he was satisfied with Hans.
noob2: Yeah, that was silly for us to be worried!
noob4: Yeah, that was the Mother Goose of sillies!
noob1: Omg!
noob2: He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!
Ogre: Oops, mes missed one!
*Ogre eats noob4 and walks away*
*noobs stare at Ogre as he walks away*
all noobs: My hero....
noob1: Hooray! The day is saved, thanks to-
noob3: The Smurfs!
noob1: 2 strikes, 3 strikes and noob3 will be added to the He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named list...
noob2: Good luck, you might have your name for a whole other 5 minutes noob3!
noob1: Anyways, the day is saved, thanks to-
all noobs: THE THREE CONFUSED NOOBS!!!!
noob1: Okay, now to go find the duke, and learn the ancient ways of mining, get our mining, and end our quest that we have been working on for so long-
all noobs: TO GET THE ALMIGHTY STEEL DAGGERS!

16-May-2012 04:52:45

Oct

2020

Zevulon

Posts: 6,161 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

noob1: Well, we are in Varrock. Now, to get the ancient ways of mining!
Gypsy: He. who's eyes of red glow! He, whos horns point to the sky! He who has brought much evil here before! HE IS BACK!
noob2: Woah, umm, noob1. The gypsy is scaring me!
noob3: Isn't she talkin' about noob4?
noob1: ...
noob3: ...?
*start of the demon slayer quest*

16-May-2012 04:52:56

Oct

2020

Zevulon

Posts: 6,161 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

noob1: Well, we are in Varrock. Now, to get the ancient ways of mining!
Gypsy: He. who's eyes of red glow! He, whos horns point to the sky! He who has brought much evil here before! HE IS BACK!
noob2: Woah, umm, noob1. The gypsy is scaring me!
noob3: Isn't she talkin' about noob4?
noob1: ...
noob3: ...?
*start of the demon slayer quest*
noob1: Gypsy! We want to help!
Gypsy: You? You three want to help slay the most powerful demon of these lands?
noob1: Umm, noob2. Isnt this right.
noob2: Well, when she says the most powerful demon.....
Gypsy: I mean the most powerful!
*Gypsy's eyes grow real wide*
Gypsy: Ohh! I fell.....The evil! Rising! Oop!
noob2: Haha. This persons funny.
Gypsy: G-go! T-to sir.....sir........*faints*
noob3: We have to find Sir Sir!
noob1: No, noob3, she didnt finish what she was saying.
Gypsy: *wakes up* H- he is in the castle!
*Gypsy faints again*
noob1: Well, noobs, lets find a sir in the castle!
*they make their way to castle gate*
noob1: Alright noobs, on 3.
allnoobs: 1! 2! 3!
*they open the gate and run in*
Guard: Hello citizens.
noob3: Who are you callin' citizens? *rolls up sleeve*
noob1: *pushes noob3 back* Uhh, hi.
Guard: Please donate money to the king, so he can make this world an even better place.
noob1: Err, no.
Guard: *takes out iron dagger* Than you must die!
noob2: C'mon, noobs, we can take him!
*noobs unsheath their dragon longs*
noob1: What? Dragon? Where did this junk come from?!
*noobs throw away their dragon longs and level 80's take them and run away*
noob2: Alright noobs, lets go!
*noobs take out bronze longs*
allnoobs: RARRRRRRGH!
*they start slashing their bronze longs furiosuly*
Guard: Uh, I'm over here!
allnoobs: Oh. RAGHHHHHHH!

16-May-2012 04:55:28

Oct

2020

Zevulon

Posts: 6,161 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Guard: Foolish citizens! You cannot beat an iron dagger!
noob3: *jumps up and kicks the guard in the shin*HA! take THAT, CITIZEN!
*noob1: *kicks noob3* he is level 21!
noob3: WHAT?
Guard: Stand and deliver!
noob1: Wait, highway men say that!
noob3: THAT MEANS THAT HE IS AS STRONG AS A HIGHWAYMA*
noob1: noob3 used common sense? No way!
noob2: Uhh, let me handle this. ...
noob3: ...?
noob2: ...!
noob3: Oh! ......!
noob2: No, ...!
noob3: ...?
noob1: Ok....I take that back.....
Guard: Ugh.....*dies of bordom*
allnoobs: HOORAY!
noob1: Now lets get in there!
noob2: FOR NIKE!!!!!!
noob1: No......
noob2: *sniff* okay...
*noobs push open castle doors*
Hans: OGRES!!!!!
allnoobs: HANS!!!
noob3: HOORAY! My ogre buddy!
Hans: Oh, hi naughties.
noob1: Why are you here?
Hans: I made a transfer. There were too many ogres back there!
*kitchen door opens*
allnoobs: THE COOK!!!!
Cook: Yes, it is me. This castle wouldnt accept people who aren't house broken, and they thought it was my responsibility to train him. So...
Hans: *starts to lean towards Cook*
noob1: You have to train Hans?
Cook: Go figure. NO! Tinkle in the TOILET!
Hans: Oh! *runs to another room*
Cook: So, you came here to find the Duke?
noob1: Yeah
*Hans, the duke, and the king come out of the room Hans went into*
King: NO! NO! MY RUG IS NOT THE TOILET!!!!
Cook: Sorry sir!
King: He just went while me and the duke were in a conference! *writes out a transfer* He's goin back to lumbridge!
Cook: Ahh, and that means I have to go...
King: No, you stay here.
Cook: Really!?
King: No.
Cook: WHAT?!?!?!!? *throws a butchers knife at the king*
Hans: NOOOOOOOO! *dives in front of the king and gets hit by the knife*
allnoobs: HANS!!!!!
*cook rushes over to hans*
Cook: You idiot! I was aiming for the king!
Hans: T-Tell...Noob3....T-to watche out for O-Ogres...*dies*
noob3: Watch out for ogres? What a whimp!
noob2: ...
noob3: ...? Thats so confusing it is scary!
*hans wakes up*
Hans: Naughty whimp!
*dies*
noob3: NOOOO! I LOST HIM AGAIN!!

16-May-2012 04:57:44

Oct

2020

Zevulon

Posts: 6,161 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

*cook whispers to noobs*
Cook: I'm gonna kill the kings
noobs: We are gonna fight the duke On 3......1......2....
Ogre: Thweeeeeeeeee!!!!!
noob3: OGRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*noob3 runs outside and ties himself to the light post*
Duke-King: let us handle this!
*starts shooting ogre with arrows*
*noob1 runs up and stabs duke in the back*
*cook strangles King with spaghetti noodles*
*king dies*
*duke dying*
*ogre laughing*
*ogre still laughing*
*ogre laughing too hard*
*ogre dying of laughing*
*ogre dies*
noob2: That was pretty easy.....
Duke: Ow, a noob stabbed me....
noob2: That was me! w00t w00t!
Duke: Woah, a noob. What are you doing here?
noob1: You know what we are here for...
Duke: 2 noobs? Omg, wheres the exit?!
noob1: And we have another fellow noob, aka noob3 who is guarding the exit.
Duke: Omg!! I'm screwed.....
noob2: Tell us, or die a nooby death!
Duke: No! Anything but that! What do you want?!
noob2: The ancient ways of mining.
Duke: Oh, the noobs just wanna mine. Alright...
noob2: Sooo.....?
Duke: You mine.....LIKE THIS! *takes out a pickaxe and throws it at noob1*
noob1: OW!!!
noob2: Woah, lemme try! *picks up the pick axe and beats noob1 down with it*
noob1: NOOO! *dies*
noob2: Aw, only 2 gp? I'm dissapointed.
Duke: *takes out dragon long* You are about to be even more dissapointed, hehe!
noob2: Dragon? You noob.
Duke: *pokes noob2 with it*
noob2: OW! I think you broke the skin...
Duke: Good! This is gonna hurt even more though...
noob2: Uh oh.....
noob3: *from the backround* I'LL SAVE YOU NOOB2!!! *jumps through the window but the broken glass kills him*
Duke: Umm, was that your noob guarding the exit?
noob2: No.....Umm......
Duke: HA! It was! I can now escape from these dreadful noobs! *runs out the door*
noob2: Well, at least we know how to mine...*walks out the exit*
Ogre: Helwo narb!
noob2: *looks and sees the ogre sitting on the duke*
Ogre: I fownd dis! *gives noob2 a paper*
noob2: Oh my God! Its the secret ways of mining!

16-May-2012 04:59:17

Oct

2020

Zevulon

Posts: 6,161 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

noob2: The secret ways of mining is in MY hands!! its...My precious...
noob1: Umm, noob2, you are starting to scare me!
noob2: The precious...
noob3: Hes lost it! Get 'em Hans!!
Hans: Rawr! *bites off noob2's head and runs away with it*
noob1: Woah...
noob3: Ahh pickels, he got bloodstains on the mining paper!!
noob1: Is that a q or a g?
noob3: OMG! WE DONT KNOW IF IT IS MINING OR MININQ! WE WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO FIGURE IT OUT!!!
noob1: Umm, I have a guess of what it is..
noob3: Oh, you think its mininq too?
noob1: ...
noob3: ...?
noob1: Oh yeah, I forgot I cant say that round noob3....
Ogre: narb3! ... means-
noob2: *runs up panting* NO!! DONT TELL HIM!!!
Ogre: Yees narb2.....
noob3: D- Did they make this game look 3d with crayola crayons? 'Cause I've tried that before but it COULDNT go 3d, believe me!
noob1: Umm, we'll take your word for it noob3...
noob2: Can we go mine now? I'm bored. And I want that steel dagger.
noob1: So, where do we mine?
Ogre: Me thinks wez mineys in dwarfy palace!
noob1: *looks at map* Dwarfy palace...dwarf palace...Ogre! There is no Dwarfy Palace!
Ogre: Fowlo mez! *signals them to follow*
noob3: Hello mother. Hello father. Fleas, ticks, mosquitoes... really bother! Thanks for the package. Thats why I'm writing. K9 Advantix really stops, all the biting. Swimming, hiking. And tent pitching. They're not biting. And I'm not itching! Can't wait to show you! All my new tricks! Thanks again for sending me K9 Advantix!!
noobs1&2+Ogre: *clap clap clap clap*
noob2: Pure poetic talent, noob3!!!
Ogre: Tat waz amashing!
noob3: Oh that? It's a doggy food commercial. I just like to sing it.
noob2: But you memorized it? Pretty good...
noob3: No, I'm reading it off of this random piece of paper I found on the ground.
Ogre: I amz dizappointyed in you, narb3!
noob3: Me too.....me too......

16-May-2012 05:01:07

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Three Confused Noobs