RuneScape Forum Archive | -= The Revolt Lover Series =-

Azure Sunday

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Sethcat:He’s awake.
The first thought that crossed Cheezit92’s mind was – Oh cra(c)p, I*m awake.
A second thought soon strode in and replaced his first with – Get back to sleep.
Then a third thought, more of a realization really, entered – I can’t go back to sleep.
His fourth thought was – I’ve never had this many thoughts before.
And finally he had a fifth thought – I wish I had kept the runes Texan85 had given me. I want to get out of here.
Now, some of you readers might discard this last thought as a noobish wish. After all, no one can teleport from the mage arena. It is too far up in the Wilderness. But actually it was a perfectly valid wish. I shall take a short break before the torture scene to introduce you to an intriguing colleague of mine who will explain why this is true.

~~~~~~~~

Qazwsx3740:Hi, historyman.
Historyman:Why, how are you doing Qazwsx3740?
Qazwsx3740:It doesn’t matter how I’m doing, just make this short.
Qazwsx3740:We’ve got a torture scene to get to.
Historyman:Torture? I don’t like the sound of that.
Qazwsx3740:Well, your opinion doesn’t matter. It’* going to happen.
Historyman:I guess so.
Historyman:Anyway, to get to the point.
Historyman:I’m here to inform the audience about the history of the law temple.
Historyman:It is a wholly remarkable history, and very interesting to study up on.
Qazwsx3740:And you should hurry up…
Historyman

, yes.
Historyman:Well, the First Noob Rebellion, a time of radical change, partly
Historyman:Came about due to changes in the Runescape teleportation system.
Qazwsx3740:Interesting…
Historyman

ne day, for whatever reason, teleportation into and out of
Historyman:The deep Wilderness was suddenly possible.
Qazwsx3740

k

27-May-2006 22:28:24

Azure Sunday

Posts: 3,757 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Historyman:As you can imagine this made whoever controlled the law rune
Historyman:Temple a very powerful person.
Qazwsx3740:Uh huh.
Historyman:For years the elitists held the temple and noobs ran essence
Historyman:For them in return for cash.
Historyman:But when Dorito72 came into power and promised the noobs freedom
Historyman:There was a strike at the law temple led by a man named Ninja101.
Historyman:It was very effective, law production stopped.
Qazwsx3740

k
Historyman

orito72 realized the power that came with the temple,
Historyman:He marched his troops to Entrana
Historyman:And tried to take control over essence running businesses there.
Qazwsx3740:Uh…
Historyman:The elitists didn’t like this,
Qazwsx3740:Zzzzz
Historyman:And ultimately it ended in the destruction of the law temple.
Qazwsx3740:Zzzsnrrrzzzz
Historyman:Qaz?
Qazwsx3740:Zzzzsnrrk!
Qazwsx3740:Huh?
Historyman:Were you listening to what I said?
Qazwsx3740:Zzzz…

~~~~~~~

Ok, he wasn’t as intriguing as I thought he’d be, but there you have it. Basically, history is interesting. And teleportation in the Wilderness is possible. Anyway, on to the important stuff.
Sethcat looked over towards Mr. Happy, who nodded. Sethcat turned back to Cheezit92 and licked his lips contemplatively. The noob was tied to a table, there would be no escaping. Their plan was to overload Cheezit92 with information. It would be the opposite of the torture Mr. Happy had been administered to in Lumbridge.
Sethcat:Hello, Cheezit92.
Cheezit92:Go away.
Sethcat:I’m sorry but I’m here to stay. At least for a while.
Sethcat:I am here to answer your questions.
Cheezit92:?
He had been expecting some sort of torture. Why else would he be tied to a table? An ominous buzzing started in the middle of Cheezit92’s head.
Sethcat:And you better have some questions.
And suddenly there there was a vial in his hand, a disturbingly translucent substance sloshing about inside it.

27-May-2006 22:28:35

Azure Sunday

Posts: 3,757 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Sethcat:How about starting with herblore?
Cheezit92:Um, well, I met a druid once.
Cheezit92:He sang and danced.
Sethcat:That’s not a question, Cheezit.
Cheezit92:I’m just saying. If you untie me I could show you the dance…
Sethcat:Questions, Cheezit…
Cheezit92:Someone told me once I’m a good singer too.
Sethcat:I doubt it. Now,
Sethcat threateningly swirled the potion in the vial.
Sethcat:Questions please.
Cheezit92

, have you seen my bronze dagger?
Sethcat:No…
Cheezit92:Someone stole it from me.
Sethcat:Could you actually ask a more intellectual question?
Cheezit92:Intelekchule?
Sethcat:Something smarter…
Cheezit92

, my strength is 3/5.
Cheezit92:A druid made it go down.
Sethcat:That’s not a question.
Cheezit92:But there’s a good side.
Cheezit92:My firemaking is 4/1.
Cheezit92:That’s like burning four logs at once.
Sethcat:…
Cheezit92:Yea, it’s pretty cool.
Sethcat looked helplessly over at Mr. Happy, but Mr. Happy gave no sign of what to do and so Sethcat renewed his attempt.
Sethcat:Isn’t there anything you’re interested in?
Cheezit92

h, I’m interested in lots of stuff.
Sethcat:Anything in particular?
Sethcat:Ask me about something.
Cheezit92:How high can firemaking go?
Sethcat:Well the difficulty of securing successive levels increases exponentially
Sethcat:As superior levels are achieved, but a horizontal as(c)ymptote to the skill
Sethcat:Function exists at 99.
For a moment Cheezit92’s face contorted as he tried to process this information and Sethcat thought the torture might be working. Chipping away at his mind like this should eventually drive him insane. Then Cheezit92 spoke again.
Cheezit92:Well I know that, but where do the logs go?
Sethcat:?
Cheezit92:I mean, in the legends magic logs turn into ashes.
Sethcat:…
Cheezit92:Yeah, I don’t believe it either.
Sethcat:All logs turn to ashes.
Cheezit92:They do?
Sethcat:You’ve never burned a log?
Cheezit92:No, it lets the evil spirits out.

27-May-2006 22:28:46

Azure Sunday

Posts: 3,757 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Sethcat:Wha- oh, just forget it.
Sethcat

o you have any questions?
Cheezit92

h! I have one!
Sethcat:Alright, let’s hear it.
Cheezit92:I once had fifteen ashes,
Sethcat:Yes…
Cheezit92:I wish I had fifteen ashes.
For a few moments Sethcat waited. A pensive silence filled the room.
Sethcat:That’s not a question…
Cheezit92

h! Well an elitist took the ashes.
Sethcat:That’s too bad, ask a question now.
Sethcat

r do you want some of this?
Again Sethcat shook the vial portentously.
Cheezit92:Sure. I am a bit thirsty.
He opened his mouth but Sethcat made no move to give him a sip of the liquid. Was this supposed to be the torture? - Cheezit92 wondered. Offering him drink and then refusing to give it to him?
Sethcat:Wtf.
Sethcat was staring at him reproachfully, as though Cheezit92 were some kind of disgusting, brainless creature.
Cheezit92

h! I’ve got a question!
Maybe if he asked questions he’d get something to drink.
Sethcat

k…
Cheezit92:What would I do with 15 ashes?
Sethcat:How on earth should I know? Maybe make serum 207?
Cheezit92:You can make syrup from ashes?
Sethcat:Serum, with an m.
Cheezit92

, that’s too bad. Syrup tastes good.
Sethcat:Just ask a **** question!
Cheezit92:I killed a giant rat once.
Sethcat:A QUESTION!
Cheezit92:Um,
Man, this guy was picky.
Cheezit92:Well, one time I -
Sethcat:QUESTIONS ONLY!
Cheezit92:You didn’t let me finish.
Sethcat closed his mouth with an effort and spoke through clenched teeth, his face laden with malice.
Sethcat:K, as long as it’s a question.
Cheezit92:Well, one time I met Ratherdashng
Cheezit92:And his bodyguard made me a statue of someone I knew.
Sethcat waited.
Sethcat:That’s your question?
Cheezit92:Yes.

27-May-2006 22:28:59

Azure Sunday

Posts: 3,757 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

OK, IT'S FINE NOW

Rumor has it that Sethcat was insane within half a day, but that was an overstatement. The torture continued far into the night and, as the talk progressed, Cheezit92 slowly slipped into reveries of times before the war, when he had been free from duties to an army and traveling the lands with only fifteen ashes in his inventory.

27-May-2006 22:29:09

Azure Sunday

Posts: 3,757 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

72 – A Midnight Raid

A long black sky,
A long dark moon,
The dragons fly,
To wind’s dark tune.

By the time Xanthagum saw Sethcat again night’s inky blanket had covered the mage arena. Many hours ago the noobs had sounded their retreat from the mage arena and, as of yet, had not given any hint of renewing their attack.
Throughout the waning evening and on into the night, Xanthagum had participated in numerous mock duels with other elitists to try to relieve the tension he felt. It was a tension shared by all, floating like static electricity through the air. Lately it had risen further and one could almost feel it coursing through them, exciting their nerves and speeding their heart. In a few minutes the elitists would raid the noob camp. Currently they stood, gathered in a dark mass in the arena, waiting for the mage arena gates to open. Xanthagum’s heart sped more than most as his eyes scanned the crowd for Sethcat. Now was the perfect chance for the assassination of Zezima. No one would notice who had killed him in a crowd of this size.
He had already located the leader, wearing full black dragonhide with a guthan spear, near the front of the crowd. Although he couldn’t see them, Xanthagum was sure Numanuma3, Voldemort, and Starwarfan0 were also watching Zezima. They always watched Zezima.
When he finally spotted the former Xanadian, standing against a wall, Xanthagum noticed immediately that something about him had changed. Perhaps it was the way Sethcat’s hands seemed to shiver up and down all the time, as though he had a bad case of nerves, perhaps it was his disheveled hair, or maybe the fact that he was attempting to eat his shirt, but something had changed. Xanthagum sidled over to him.
Xanthagum:Hi.
Sethcat stopped chewing the fabric and looked up.
Sethcat

.
Sethcat:Ask me a question.
A wheezy snigger escaped him.
Xanthagum:Are you ready?
Sethcat:Ready?

27-May-2006 22:29:57

Azure Sunday

Posts: 3,757 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Sethcat tentatively bit at his shirt one more time, then gave it up. Xanthagum began to feel doubtful about Sethcat. Something didn’t seem right. It was as though he were talking to a completely different person.
Xanthagum:Yes, for the Zezima thing?
Sethcat

, killing Zezima?
Xanthagum:Shh
He looked about but no one had noticed.
Xanthagum:Yes.
Sethcat:I’m ready.
Xanthagum:K, you know what to do then.
Xanthagum moved away, trying to assure himself that everything would go as planned. That Zezima wouldn’t survive the night was a fact. There were several plans in place in case one failed. Still, Xanthagum didn’t want to be caught in the act. Xanthagum moved his great axe to a more comfortable position on his shoulder. If all went well he wouldn’t even need to use it.

Near the front of the masses Zezima stood. He slowly fingered the smooth wood of the Guthan spear. It was a versatile weapon, functioning both as a stave for close-range attacks and almost like a sword for far-range. The blade at its tip spanned nearly a foot. His black dragonhide armor would give him the dexterity needed to weild the spear effectively.
He leaned over to talk to Voldemort, who stood in full dragon beside him. Voldemort had donned the outfit to disguise himself for now. Zezima did not want elitists to see him near any of the personages he usually traveled with. It produced the image that he trusted his troops.
Zezima:When are we going?
Voldemort:Impatient?
Zezima:Not really.
Voldemort:Lol.
Zezima:Nvm.
The gates were opening. They folded inwards quietly at first, but then let out a piercing creak halfway through their swing. Sethcat took this opportunity to release a rune dart, freshly poisoned, at the leader. It missed and took out a man directly ahead of Zezima. No one noticed. Sethcat chuckled and threw another. His hand shook badly and caused it to skew off sideways, hitting some other elitist.

27-May-2006 22:30:13

Azure Sunday

Posts: 3,757 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

And then the crowd streamed out the doors and Zezima disappeared from Sethcat’s view. Sethcat looked through the crowd to where Xanthagum had been watching him and shook his head. Xanthagum sighed and forced his way into the crowd. It seemed he’d have to use his great axe after all.
The elitists slipped into an icy night. Glazed stars lit the lifeless Wilderness about them. They rippled out from the gate, spreading out in either direction to form a circle about the noob encampment, the fastest runners taking the edges. They would attack the camp from all directions. Zezima ran along the edge. Voldemort sprinted beside him. By the time they reached the noob camp, Voldemort had changed to full Ahrims.
The elitists had planned to find the camp unprepared, but it soon became apparent that the noobs had set up sentries. It also became apparent that higher level players fought alongside the noobs.
A volley of arrows suddenly hissed out of the night to Zezima’s left, flying high and missing the elitists. Zezima had been so sure no noobs would be ready for them that for a moment he thought his own troops were firing on him. Then another flurry of arrows brought the attackers into sight, a line of outcasts running at an angle to the elitists to head them off, most loosing rune arrows from magic bows. Eager for battle, Zezima changed his trajectory, and ran at the outcasts.
One arrow skimmed off his armor as he spun around another, at the same time deflecting a third with his spear. All spun off into the deep night. And then his spear whipped down into a level 65 in rune armor at the same time as a mage attack from Voldemort ripped a nearby enemy apart. Zezima gave up on encircling the camp and submerged himself in the flow of the fight. The Guthan spear twirled forwards and sent one man flying before a sharp twist put the blade in another’s stomach. A leap over a low-sweeping scimitar and a stab downwards with the spear b(c)utt rewarded him with a crunch.

27-May-2006 22:30:23

Azure Sunday

Posts: 3,757 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

A roll upon landing to slip beneath an adamant sword, while lashing out to the left with the spear and another man went down, shin broken. Up again in a fluid motion, bringing the spear shaft up aswell to parry a downwards sword stroke from a level 58, then ducking beneath a cut from behind while jabbing backwards with the spear’s blunt end to catch someone in the stomach. It all became an intricate waltz and Zezima danced it perfectly as Voldemort froze and leeched the blood from the outcasts about Zezima with livid hexes.
Before they knew it, all the outcasts lay dead or dying around them. Voldemort and Zezima exchanged a brief grin before sprinting in towards the noob camp. Another poisoned dart thrown by Sethcat, who had been trailing Zezima, missed and killed an injured outcast.

A crescent of elitists closed in on the rebel camp, and for a moment it seemed they were winning. Sentries fell one by one and the elitist armies encroached. But then shouts from the battles reached the noob camp and it seemed to explode outwards. Outcasts awoken from a light sleep, jumped into their armor and flew out towards the battlefield. Noobs, bowing to the man the gods had just sent down to them, jerked upwards as though a heavenly puppeteer had twitched their strings and then, with howls and cheers, rushed out to meet the elitists, most forgetting their weapons. The noob camp became a mirror-image of the mage arena, a moat of brilliant magic flares surrounding the dark circle of the noob camp in the middle.

Zezima and Voldemort joined forces with a elitist party, including Xanthagum, before the wave of noobs and outcasts from the camp hit them. Xanthagum wielded his axe with ease, muscles hardly straining as he used its momentum to maim one target after another. Outcasts came at them like rats escaping a flood, an endless, dense wave.

27-May-2006 22:30:40

Azure Sunday

Posts: 3,757 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Zezima thrust his spear forward, letting the shaft slide through his hand, to impale a woman sporting red dragon hide several paces from him, before pulling it out, releasing his grip on its handle in order to dodge a battle axe, and catching it again to twist the spear shaft into the side of the axe-weilders head. A spear came in from behind him, two rune scimitars from the front. He flipped backwards, over the spear, reaching down and catching its shaft in the meanwhile to wrench it from the owners grip. It was a rune spear. Zezima threw it into a nearby noob, and whirled to face a mage outcast who stood out, away from the chaos. Zezima threw himself to the earth, rolled under a high-level fire attack, and stabbed upwards at the mage’* legs. The spear was hard to use from the ground.
Nearby, Xanthagum saw his chance and bypassed a noob to get to Zezima.
Zezima’s spear dug into the outcast’s thigh, ripping easily through the man’s mystic robes. The outcast’* leg buckled and he fell to the ground, letting loose another fire burst that spiraled upwards to die amongst the stars.
Xanthagum, reaching Zezima, raised his axe to prepare for a vicious sideways sweep meant to cleave the man in two once he regained his feet.
Become liquid, Zezima thought, and flowed back onto his feet. But the mage outcast had equipped a dagger, and, with a sudden burst of determination, rolled towards Zezima, running the razor-sharp blade across the back of Zezima’s thighs and regaining his feet only to get in the way of the great axe. Zezima felt the pain, heard a weird snapping sound, and, having barely gained his feet, leapt clumsily sideways, sensing the disturbance in the air as the blade of the great axe, slowed somewhat by having to travel through the outcast, passed within inches of his back. He landed on one knee and a foot, but still found the impetus to rotate his body 180 degrees while spinning his spear blindly outwards with lethal speed. It was deadly accurate.

27-May-2006 22:30:53

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