~~~~ Summary ~~~~
What I think: You did a great job getting over the ‘horror’ of the stories. The characters were great, description was for the most part well done though it sometime seemed forced.
How you can improve: Look over your story another time for those little grammatical errors you missed the first time. It won’t take much time and will make a much cleaner read.
Final Verdict: Great job. It was well done and I really enjoyed reading the skill. Not so much the disturbing parts… Kyle’s Compilation definitely deserves a spot in the Novelists’ Guild Library.
~~~~ Corrected Errors ~~~~
I’m not going to mark all the errors, seeing as this is many different stories. Below are some of the mistakes, but not all.
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Hey Bill!
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Need’s a comma. This happens a few more times as well.
-~~~-
The entrance looked misty and glowing a bluish hue. Bill shrugged and thought, ‘why not?'
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Capitalize the beginning of his thoughts.
-~~~-
Bill left the office and walked home, trying to push Chad and the articles from his mind. Instead he thought about if he had everything he needed. When he realized that he was Chad started to seep into his head again. He needed something to divert his thoughts.
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Not sure what this means. Seems like you might be missing some words. Sentences like this also happen in other stories. You might notice I’m using ‘Party!’ for my examples. That’s because the majority of the mistakes take place in that story.
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The entrance looked misty and glowing a bluish hue.
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Glowed, not glowing. You switch tenses occasionally in the stories.
-~~~-
“Whatever lady, to bad you didn't predict me leaving.”
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Too, not to. This also occurs, somewhat frequently throughout the stories.
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Mistakes like the above listed are what make up most of the grammatical errors in this compilation. You should look through your stories again and try to find them. Especially when you misuse a word by replacing it with a homophone.
-Cund8
22-Aug-2009 17:38:16
- Last edited on
22-Aug-2009 17:39:48
by
Caydock
