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The Guardian
Quick find code: 49-50-371-62222788
Bookmark. I kinda have to, haven't I?
I've read it. It's good stuff. You have really come a long way in your writing. The descriptions and narrative is pretty much there. Just be cautious not to over-do things. Before Rowan enters into the story, I felt some of the expressions were over done, and seems unnecessary, in the grand scheme of things. Maybe toning it down a little will help.
But yes, I'm very impressed with this. It makes me miss Hunter vs Prey all the more.
I've read it. It's good stuff. You have really come a long way in your writing. The descriptions and narrative is pretty much there. Just be cautious not to over-do things. Before Rowan enters into the story, I felt some of the expressions were over done, and seems unnecessary, in the grand scheme of things. Maybe toning it down a little will help.
But yes, I'm very impressed with this. It makes me miss Hunter vs Prey all the more.
23-Jan-2011 20:54:36
Thanks Paccy.
And thanks English.
So basically the more I improve the more you'll miss the old me? That kind of depresses me...
~Caydock
And thanks English.
So basically the more I improve the more you'll miss the old me? That kind of depresses me...
~Caydock
23-Jan-2011 23:02:23
The good old days of the Peter Pan spirit. Its only when we mature that we realize what we truly had, and that it is now lost forever. Personally though, I do rejoice in the fact that I can comprehend and learn things way faster and better. I don't really miss the school days where I was stuck in Math, and I could do nothing but stare at my paper and sob inside.
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Just read the story! =D I love it! Definitely better than the other one; more details, more emotion, more everything. You really feel the atmosphere of the story.
I noticed two mistakes though, nothing major though. In the first of second post of the story, two words are stuck together. And the second one is that on the last post on the first page, every paragraph starts with "Rowan". Although not a mistake, it's a little repetitive. But I still can't fix that mistake in my own stories
So it really doesn't matter.
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Just read the story! =D I love it! Definitely better than the other one; more details, more emotion, more everything. You really feel the atmosphere of the story.
I noticed two mistakes though, nothing major though. In the first of second post of the story, two words are stuck together. And the second one is that on the last post on the first page, every paragraph starts with "Rowan". Although not a mistake, it's a little repetitive. But I still can't fix that mistake in my own stories
So it really doesn't matter.
24-Jan-2011 16:47:24 - Last edited on 24-Jan-2011 17:10:44 by Reaper Ben
Sobbed inside? How sad.
And I agree with Ruben. It is nice to comprehend things that I couldn't before.
~Caydock
Thanks, Ruben.
I'll fix those when I get a chance. I can't now...school...
And I agree with Ruben. It is nice to comprehend things that I couldn't before.
~Caydock
Thanks, Ruben.
I'll fix those when I get a chance. I can't now...school...
24-Jan-2011 17:12:10 - Last edited on 24-Jan-2011 17:12:44 by Caydock
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