Review of Ardhonmeth by Poller 5.
¸,•°¯ø Plot- 48/50 points
The plot to this story was interesting and creative. Instead of the usual ‘Saradomin vs Zamorak,’ you tried a different approach, and included ‘Guthix vs Zaros,’ and it turned out to be a fascinating part of the story.
In the back of the reader’s head stood a thought ‘Who’ll win?’ This thought lasted throughout the whole of the battle. In the end, you added an interesting twist where everyone died; this really grabbed attentions.
The plot was well thought out with new ideas.
¸,•°¯ø Grammar and spelling- 33/35 points
Your grammar was great, it was easy to read the story without a thought to what a sentence meant. If you had written ‘fifty three’ rather than ‘three and fifty,’ this story’s grammar would be a bit easier to read.
The spelling was good, there were found little or no mistakes in your story whatsoever, I’m almost sure that the story was proof-read.
¸,•°¯ø Characters- 20/30 points
I felt that you could have explained the appearance of the characters more. You did not say what colour the dragons were, how Zaros looked, though you did describe Guthix sometimes.
To make the characters better, more time should be spent describing them.
¸,•°¯ø Description- 33/35 points
You used a large range of vocabulary, and described most things in an interesting fashion. You did not tend to repeat words, you used different ones, yet not boring ones; and you certainly described everything to its full potential.
¸,•°¯ø Total- 134/150 marks- 89%
If you had paid more attention to the characters in the story, I believe that this would stand at Number one in the Collection. You did nearly everything else right; I found it extremely difficult to find any other flaws in your writing.
One hundred and thirty four is a marvelous score; you have worked extremely hard to get a great story, many congratulations.
Reviewed by Raichu9.
08-Dec-2007 15:13:23
- Last edited on
11-Dec-2007 17:32:52
by
Raichu9
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