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The 3 Noobs to end all Noobs

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widjo

widjo

Posts: 1,201 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
~*/Chapter 7 : Ernest the Chicken Quest\*~

Noob1: Well I’m bored
Noob2: Me too
Noob3: Me four
Noob2: Hey look a haunted Mansion!
(Noob2 points toward Draynor Manor)
Noob3: Well let’s go in!
Noob1: Wait!! Who knows what could be in there!!
Noob2: Well let’s ask this person if we should
(Noobs walk over to Veronica)
Veronica: Could you please help me?
Noob2: With what?
Veronica: My fiancée Ernest is missing in this mansion, could who three go get him back for me?
Noob3: What’s in it for us?
Veronica: Well according to the Runescape Knowledge Base you will be rewarded with 4 Quest Points and 300 Coins
Noob2: I have no idea what a Quest Point is, but that money is practically calling out for me, lets go guys!

**NOOBS ENTER DRAYNOR MANOR**

Noob2: Help I’m scared...
Noob1: Oh stop being such a Noob
(The door slams shut behind the Noobs)
Noob3: Oh NO! We can’t get out!
Noob1: Well we’ll just have to go forward!
(Noobs go forward)
Noob2: So where’s the chicken?
Noob3: Chicken? Why are we talking about a chicken?
Noob2: Because its called the Ernest the Chicken Quest
Noob1: Good point
Noob3: Well don’t bother; I have plenty of chicken in my backpack
(Noobs go upstairs)
Noob3: Hey look a chicken!
(Noob3 kicks chicken)
Professor Oddenstein: Hey stop!
Noob1: Who are you?
Oddenstein: I am Professor Oddenstein
Noob2: Do you know where Ernest is?
Oddenstein: Yes, He’s that chicken over there
Noob3: OMG YOU TURNED HIM INTO A CHICKEN!!!
(Noob3 kicks Oddenstein)
Oddenstein: Ouch!
Noob1: How do we change him back?
Oddenstein: Well my machine is broken, but there are some parts around here that can be used to fix it
Noob1: What are they?
Oddenstein: I need an Oil can, a Rubber tube, and a Pressure gauge.
Noob2: Where are they?
Oddenstein: I don’t know, I was hoping you could find them...
Noob3: Okey Dokey! Let’s go guys!

18-Nov-2006 12:34:10

widjo

widjo

Posts: 1,201 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
**NOOBS SEARCH FOR THE PRESSURE GAUGE

Noob1: Ok Noobs what did you find?
Noob2: I found some fish food! Yum Yum Yum!!
Noob3: I found some rat poison! Yum Yum Yum!!
Noob1: Well I found a way out!
Noob2: How will that help us?
Noob1: Well one of the items might be outside somewhere! And if I didn’t find it, how would we get out when we’ve finished the quest?
Noob2: Good point!
Noob3: Well let’s go outside and see if we can find something!
(Noobs go outside, and find a fountain)
Noob1: Hey I think I see something in the fountain!
Noob2: Say no-more
(Noob2 reaches into the fountain, only to have his arm ripped off by piranhas)
Noob2: OUCH!!! That doesn’t hurt...
Noob1: That’s ‘cause your arm can’t be ripped off in Runescape...
(Byrodaman realizes his mistake and gives Noob2 back his arm)
Noob1: Now how are we gonna get rid of these piranhas?
Noob2: Why don’t we give them fish food!!!
Noob1: That won*t kill them
Noob3: Well what am I gonna do with this rat poison?
Noob2: OMG!!! I have an idea!
Noob1: So do I!
(Noob2 pours his Cavadar Potion into the fountain)
(The piranhas die instantly)
Noob1: Well it wasn’t what I had planned, but it still works...
(Noob1 Takes the Pressure Gauge)

18-Nov-2006 12:34:46

widjo

widjo

Posts: 1,201 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
**NOOBS SEARCH FOR THE RUBBER TUBE**

(The Noobs head back to the mansion)
Noob2: Eww! A pile of compost...
Noob3: Kool!!! Last one in is a rotten egg!!!
(Noob3 Jumps into the pile of compost)
Noob1: Disgusting!
Noob3: Help!!! Can’t Breathe!!! Choking!!!
(Noob1 and 2 pull Noob3 out of the Compost)
Noob1: Noob3 you idiot
Noob3: *Cough*
(Noobs re-enter the manor)
Noob2: Hey this door is locked!
Noob1: I wonder what’s behind it
(Noob3 spews up compost)
Noob2: Gross!
Noob1: Hey what’* that?
(Noob1 takes a key out of the pile of spewed compost)
(Noob1 uses the key on the door)
(The door opens, revealing a skeleton and a rubber tube)
Noob3: Gah!!! A skeleton!!!
Noob1: I’ll get it!
(Noob1 runs in, gets the Rubber Tube, and runs our without a scratch on him)
Noob2: Whough! He would have died on most other Noob stories
Noob1: Well maybe the author didn’* want to have to write how I got back after dieing?
Noob3: Now let’s go find the last thingywat!

**NOOBS SEARCH FOR THE OIL CAN**

(Noobs go to the basement)
Noob3: Hey there it is!
(Noob3 points to the door at the back end of the room)
Noob1: How do you know it’s behind there?
Noob3: Because the Runescape camera lets you see over the wall
Noob2: Kool!!!
Noob1: I can’t open the door!
(Noob1 looks around and notices 6 levers scattered around the rooms)
Noob1: Maybe we have to pull them in a specific order?
Noob2: I got it!
(Noob2 pulls a combination of levers and moves to different rooms. Eventually he gets stuck and can’t find his way out)
Noob2: Help! HELP!!!
Noob3: This is boring...
(Noob3 takes the Oil Can using Telekinetic Grab)
Noob1: Why didn’t you do that before to get Rubber Tube?
Noob3: Because I happen to like digging through Compost!
Noob1: Yuk...
Noob2: Help... Please...
Noob1: Well let’s go back to Professor Oddenstein!
(Noob1 + 3 go back to Oddenstein)
Noob2: Help.... Guys............... Please...........

18-Nov-2006 12:35:04

widjo

widjo

Posts: 1,201 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
**NOOBS GO BACK TO ODDENSTEIN**

Noob1: Here are the three pieces!
Oddenstein: Thanks a lot guys!
(Oddenstein eats the three pieces)
Noob1: What in the world do you eat them for
Oddenstein: I didn’t really need them, I was just hungry...
Noob3: Hahaha!!
Noob1: Uh, but one of them had Cava...
(Oddenstein dies)
Noob3: Well what now?
Noob1: Even I couldn’t get this machine to work!
Noob3: Well I’ve got a better idea
(Noob3 repetitively kicks Ernest, until he gets tired, so he force feeds him all of the rat poison)
(Ernest Dies)
Noob1: What did you do that for!?!
Noob3: To take his money
(Noob3 takes Ernest’s 300 coins and 4 Quest Points)
Noob1: Well, that settles that I guess...
Noob3: What about Noob2?
Noob1: Ah who cares about him? Besides, Byrodaman will bring him back in the next chapter

******************************
***QUEST COMPLETE***
******************************

18-Nov-2006 12:35:24

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