RuneScape Forum Archive | ~` Illusions `~

CaptChekaka

Posts: 35,595 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

You better. *Raises mic*

-- Chek

02-Jan-2009 05:39:33

[#WIK7YQF0Z]

Posts: 2,189 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Good adds ^-^

--

Whimpering, it rose and turned its attention back to Anthoni; a few eyes, colored yellow watched from the bushes surrounding them.

>>> you need a comma after ‘yellow,’ to avoid a sentence with out-of-whack flow.

….Unless you looked up wolves’ behavior, I doubt that they resort to cannibalism, especially when the bond in a pack is as strong, if not stronger, than a family. I couldn’t help but laugh at how ridicalus it was when the wolves ate their own brother alive.

02-Jan-2009 06:04:54

CaptChekaka

Posts: 35,595 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Lawlz. Who researches stuff? I'll edit it.

-- Chek

02-Jan-2009 06:06:50

CaptChekaka

Posts: 35,595 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

I fixed it up and edited. Thanks for pointing it out.

And the comma, too. ^_^

So, good so far?

-- Chek

02-Jan-2009 06:12:34

[#WIK7YQF0Z]

Posts: 2,189 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Mhm.

As for the story-

I'm sure what Korinth (spelled right?) read held significance, and as for the rest it displayed characters' emotions and personalities.

02-Jan-2009 06:15:55