Blueflamey, ordinarily I wouldn't look over work for an assignment so long past, but since this is my first time back in quite some time, I'll make an exception.
Zmaster, while I do appreciate your tenacity, I realized very quickly upon recovering your pieces that you did not meet the minimum length requirement—three full posts and two, respectively. You may have made that number of posts, but they are by no means full. Your work for the emotion assignment was fewer than 2000 characters, and as such I cannot review that work unless you are willing to put in the effort and write three
full
posts, of ~1900 characters each. The same goes for your dialogue assignment, which is over 1700 characters short.
If it's any consolation—and it likely isn't, which I'm sorry for—the pieces would not have been well reviewed even were they complete. Please rewrite them in their entirety. I will be more than happy to comment on them when that is done.
If you find fault with this approach, know this: I do not mean to be harsh, only honest. I am done with holding back. Your writing has small merits, but for the most part I find it cliché, under-described, flat, and frankly confusing. I do not mean this as an attack against you, as I am sure you are trying. I do not mean for this to hurt. But you must try again, and harder. Look at the books that you love, or read the recommendations of others. What works? What techniques, what words, what phrasing? Grab on to the world itself and use it as inspiration and fodder for your writing.
I saw you improve markedly between revisions once already, and I am sure you can do it again. I look forward to seeing you improve once more.
18-Jun-2013 02:27:03
