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The ScapeRune War

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WolfLord7777

WolfLord7777

Posts: 1,881 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
I'm really sory I've been away, my internet is fixed now.
And sorry about the Bio, I completely forgot.
There are a number of problems with this bio, although the essence of the character is good.
1.
Age: 25
This is too young. I know Roal is REALLY young, but I did that with a very specific purpose in mind. He really wouldn't be so senior in rank at such a young age.
2.
Appearance: Male with white hair and black eyes
I
need a bit more than this. There are a lot of people in this world with black eyes, and though white hair isn't common, it isn't unheard of. What makes him stand out from a crowd?
3.
Personality: A soldier who shoots first and ask questions
later, a strong believer in freedom and a all round hero
Again, I need more than this. Also, him being "an all round hero" and "a strong believer in freedom" is very cliche.

4.
Short History: Born in Falador he was part of the Archery Unit however as the new military was born he was asked to join the Arctic Unit and is now head of it
If you look at the timeline on the first page of this thread, you'll know that guns, and therefore "the new military" have been around for several hundred years. This means that he would be several hundred years old, not 25.
5.
Secret Word: 'Arctic Snake'
There seems to be some confusion with this. When I say "secret word" I mean that there is a secret word hidden somewhere in this story that you have to find to prove thath you've read it.

All in all, it's a good bio, and if you tweak those things around a bit, I'll definately accept it.

01-Oct-2010 23:28:38

Novo1250

Novo1250

Posts: 113 Iron Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Name: Selevaria Solotov
Age: 30

Race: Human

Allegiance: Runescape

Kingdom*: Falador

Military Unit*: The NightWings

Military Unit Description**: A highly trained stealth and recon unit. They are made mainly of stealth paratroopers and pilots of the experimenral X-29 Prototype Flying Wing that is used for carpet bombing and arial duels.

Appearance: Thin, very pale skin, long pearl white hair, crimson eyes, wears NightWing pilot jumpsuit, helmet with blacked out visor and attached mike, also camo gear when joining paratroopers, focus sight. Non combat is black officer uniform with gold and red trim with cerimonal sword.

Weapons: Sword, highly powerful pistol with scope, bolt-action rifle (this is used by NightWing forces only and can kill in one shot).

Personality: A cold hearted soldier and commander, Selvaria is someone who will get the job done, no matter who has to die. Well known for her skill in combat, flying and commanding. Selevaria only cares for NightWing soldiers.

Short History: Born in Falador, Selevaira came from a military background. Her father served in the White Knights and her mother was a well known healer. When they died, Selevaria turned to becoming a assassin before she was recruited. After rising through the ranks to become a General, she was given clearence to open her own force, they become known as the NightWings. Selevaria has served as their leader since they were first made.

Secret Word***: pie.
Do you like it now?
Here is a little description of the planes.
Bommerang shaped. X-29 Fighter is the smallest and is used in combat.
X-29 Bomber is the largest and is like a flying fortress. Fighter has room in back to store troops, while Bomber can have ground vehicles in the back. Both have a pair of rotar blades in the wings (helicoptor style) that allows the craft to hover.

10-Oct-2010 13:00:14 - Last edited on 13-Oct-2010 16:28:37 by Novo1250

WolfLord7777

WolfLord7777

Posts: 1,881 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Perfect!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For some bizarre reason you've managed to make a bio which perfectly fits into the role I had planned for a yet-to-be-determined character. t is EXACTly what I want. It is being written into the story as I speak.


p.s. This is the reason I havn't added for a while. I've been planning a fairly large and complicated plot development which will take a while to trash the details for, and this is on of the reasons it was taking so long.

11-Oct-2010 08:00:02 - Last edited on 11-Oct-2010 08:00:16 by WolfLord7777

WolfLord7777

WolfLord7777

Posts: 1,881 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
OMG I've got an add up. It's been quite compressed, originally it was MUCH longer, but I had to cut it down from fear of people getting bored with it. Besides, I don't like writing lots of dialogue, I find it difficult write things from different points of view while still making it natural. Back to the action . . . hopefully this week (fingers crossed for more free time and internet not crashing, although I THINK it's fixed).

11-Oct-2010 08:33:08

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