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Yrolg

Yrolg

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The following is the actual review.
"Shafts of Imagination" is the compendium of literature for Logan Shafts. Written as a sort of anthology, it is a thread focused entirely on housing the multifarious short stories this author has written. Ranging from contest submissions to pieces written out of sheer enjoyment from the art, this omnibus showcases all of Logan Shafts — the good and the bad. Indeed, I struggle to find appropriate terms to classify this anthology or to define its contents because the thread itself offers no such views.
Introduced with a piece in line with the rest of the thread, Shafts of Imagination's first post is riddled with tense confusion, elementary style, and, in what will appear to the reader after a gander at any three stories housed in the thread, cliché endings. The most strikingly talented portion of this thread is not housed in the literature itself but rather in the fact that Logan Shafts was able to deliver with such unfaltering consistency a format of story that he turned it single-handedly from an original quip into an overused farce.
The entire thread is elementary, and not by means of solely literary prowess. The stories are matched impeccably with each other: novice styles are matched with amateur diction and an elementary plot to make a story that even R.L Stine readers would find too simple. Giving credit where it is due, I cannot say that the author went half-hearted into any story in this compilation. Every piece, down to the tittles of the i, is matched with an overly simplistic style. Unfortunately, the pieces are so well executed in the fundamentals that they are unbecoming and occasionally tacky to an otherwise advanced reader. To be sure, to a child newly discovered in the enjoyment of literature, these pieces offer bountiful solace. For a reviewer expecting the advancements of publishable literature, however, it was disappointing.

11-Nov-2011 21:29:02 - Last edited on 13-Jul-2012 05:37:32 by Yrolg

Yrolg

Yrolg

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This is not to say that every piece is riddled with the detrimental basics of the majority. Those pieces, however, that do demonstrate some semblance of literary advancement are befouled by such an assault of other errors that it might be preferable to not read them altogether. Indeed, if the literature of Shafts of Imagination were to be a food, indubitably it would be award-winning Swiss cheese: an otherwise strong flavor is presented with so many holes and inconsistencies that it still leaves you unfulfilled. In particular, two holes reign supreme: consistency and originality. Otherwise acceptable pieces are marred by lack of consistency in dialogue and characterization and lack of ingenuity in sentence formats.
A prime example of this is the improperly-titled "Synergy". What might have been an acceptable — and indeed originally plotted — story was marred by the "or something" at the end of a pretentious fox's otherwise intellectual mental monologues, "yummy" in an otherwise foreboding discussion, or disinterestingly repetitive sentences. And perhaps this latter is caused by the author's confusion about grammatical punctuation. Though he underemployed the semicolon in the first page of the thread, of the three times he actually uses it, one is incorrect. Thus sequestered with only the comma and full stop, it is no wonder that commas abound where they're better absent and periods are placed arbitrarily and with no regard for the rules of English.
All of these errors culminate into an assault against the reader; they only further exacerbate the already overbearing problem omnipresent in the collection: disregard for the audience. Excessive passive description, indefensibly past-paced action, and overtly unimpactful endings all serve to leave the reader craving. Despite having workable — if overused — plots, every story leaves the reader with no impact, having already imprudently disregarded every opportunity for its employment.

11-Nov-2011 21:29:50

Yrolg

Yrolg

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Only in "Waking" and his Armies of Gielinor competition entry was the author able to redeem the time invested by the reader in this otherwise Diet Water-type thread. And yet, even in these, errors still abound. Only the length, plot, and, in the latter, divinely sanctioned usage of diversity in structure were the factors contributing to approval. And yet, even in these two (out of twenty) pieces, the reader is still left somewhat disheartened. The poetry is likewise afflicted, suffering from a myriad of maladies from inconsistent metre to atrocious allocation of syllabic emphasis. Stretched rhymes, inconsistent stanzas, and an obviously forced regimen all serve to only further discourage the reader from continuing.
I shall say, to any perusing reader, that he should read "In this instance, it occurred to me..." on page thirteen and nothing more. I say this not because this piece is a masterful example of the great talent housed within the thread but because it is a generally above-average example of what *could* be contained within this thread, provided the author re-evaluates the extant pieces.

Further discussion on this review and explanations of how the author can improve on what the review explicated can be found at Quick find code: 49-50-608-60677877.

11-Nov-2011 21:30:07 - Last edited on 11-Nov-2011 21:32:53 by Yrolg

Old Gnomish
Jul Member 2023

Old Gnomish

Posts: 2,569 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Literary Tools: 108/150
--Description: 30/40
--Voice: 17/25
--Symbolism: 19/25
--Depth: 17/20
--Analysis: 10/20
--Word Choice: 15/20

Structure: 100/120
--Format: 30/40
--Grammar: 28/30
--Usage: 16/20
--Sentence Configuration: 13/15
--Basics: 13/15
Plot: 85/100
--Development: 34/40
--Intricacy: 25/30
--Consistency: 13/15
--Originality: 13/15
Other: 67/90
--Impact: 18/20
--Flow: 15/20
--Conclusion: 13/15
--Theme: 14/15
--Empathetic Ties: 7/10
--Title Relevance: 0/10 [Unnamed for now*
Layout: 52/80
--Introduction: 27/30
--Overall Appearance: 12/20
--Title Page: 8/15
--Chapter Configuration: 5/15

Total: 412/540
Looking at that, perhaps it is too high. I told you I was useless at grading myself.
Snow
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Guildmaster - The Novelists' Guild

11-Nov-2011 21:46:01

Old Gnomish
Jul Member 2023

Old Gnomish

Posts: 2,569 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Username: Snowbuster
Story Title: Untitled (Posts 4-6 on my thread)
Quick Find Code: 49-50-383-63265320
Type of Story: Short Story
Length: Three forum posts.
How would you like your review formatted*? Same as with other applicants, I have no preference.
May I post this review on your story's thread?: Absolutely.
Snow
| Runescape Stories Forum |
Guildmaster - The Novelists' Guild

11-Nov-2011 22:01:43

Aeraie

Aeraie

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I have stories without their own threads on here. Should I post them here, or?
I also have a large thread titled The Emotion Anthology, but I'd jut want my pieces off that thread. What about that?

12-Nov-2011 14:28:40 - Last edited on 12-Nov-2011 14:29:55 by Aeraie

Yrolg

Yrolg

Posts: 25,296 Sapphire Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Snowbuster,
Thank you for applying. Unfortunately your application does not follow the guidelines set up by the thread so your application is declined. Please reread posts 1-60 in the next three weeks. After that timeframe has elapsed, you are free to apply again if applications are open.

Polymath,
All interested users should read the appropriate portions of the thread and apply.

Aeraie,
If you apply with a Quick Find Code to the thread(s) that contain your story, we can work from there in figuring out how they are posted. I do encourage you to collate the story into a single thread for ease of reading, but this is not mandatory. You should not post stories on this thread.

13-Nov-2011 02:58:57 - Last edited on 13-Nov-2011 03:00:59 by Yrolg

Mttimeo

Mttimeo

Posts: 220 Silver Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
I must say, I’m slightly heart-broken. :( Here I was under the impression applications would be closed until the 7th of December. But now I’ve come to find I’ve missed the application submissions… Of course, it’s my fault for not checking your thread more often, Yrolg. So I suppose I will wait faithfully until the next opening! :)

17-Nov-2011 02:59:34

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