Thanks, Zepp. I'll think about the Penn and Stylus.
07-Dec-2007 22:36:58
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Quick find code: 49-50-191-53835925
Thanks, Zepp. I'll think about the Penn and Stylus.
Hi there, Capt,
I have just reviewed your story, and I tried my hardest to find any errors, but you just don’t have any errors
Anyways, here is the results…
You have used very good words throughout the story, and I did*’t find any mistakes (that I could see), so it is basically…perfect. I have to give you 100% as you haven’t got little words, such as, good or bad, instead you made them into longer words, that mean more.
You have tried to make Samuel feel with guilt, which you can definitely see when you read the story. Also, you made it seem that Santa was in pain, which he was, and by saying ‘he whimpered’ it means that he barely had enough energy to say Ho, ho, ho. I give you 94% for that
You have described everyone in this story with pride, and you have obviously enjoyed doing it (I hope). All the descriptions in this story are excellent, with different words for each person. I gave you 94% for that.
The story has quite a lot of conservations, and you also have what each person says on a different line from what another person has said. That clearly shows you are good at writing (of course you are) and that you know the main factors of writing, so I gave you 92% for that.
This story is original, because most of the other SC entries are about a disaster that has happened and has been resolved but in this case, you have made a disaster that can’t be fixed. Therefore, I gave you 100% for that
Your story was a great story, the theme was absolutely fabulous and you made it exciting. This story just blew me away, and now I see why everyone likes your stories. I like it how you interrupt the story and put in information. It is a very good idea; as to be honest…my SC story is not going to win by far… You have used your voice very well, in making it clear that Christmas isn’t only about receiving, its and giving too. The overall percentage of your story is…
*Drum roll*
A shocking 96%!!! I tried being tough on you…
Yours, Micky
I have just reviewed your story, and I tried my hardest to find any errors, but you just don’t have any errors
Anyways, here is the results…
You have used very good words throughout the story, and I did*’t find any mistakes (that I could see), so it is basically…perfect. I have to give you 100% as you haven’t got little words, such as, good or bad, instead you made them into longer words, that mean more.
You have tried to make Samuel feel with guilt, which you can definitely see when you read the story. Also, you made it seem that Santa was in pain, which he was, and by saying ‘he whimpered’ it means that he barely had enough energy to say Ho, ho, ho. I give you 94% for that
You have described everyone in this story with pride, and you have obviously enjoyed doing it (I hope). All the descriptions in this story are excellent, with different words for each person. I gave you 94% for that.
The story has quite a lot of conservations, and you also have what each person says on a different line from what another person has said. That clearly shows you are good at writing (of course you are) and that you know the main factors of writing, so I gave you 92% for that.
This story is original, because most of the other SC entries are about a disaster that has happened and has been resolved but in this case, you have made a disaster that can’t be fixed. Therefore, I gave you 100% for that
Your story was a great story, the theme was absolutely fabulous and you made it exciting. This story just blew me away, and now I see why everyone likes your stories. I like it how you interrupt the story and put in information. It is a very good idea; as to be honest…my SC story is not going to win by far… You have used your voice very well, in making it clear that Christmas isn’t only about receiving, its and giving too. The overall percentage of your story is…
*Drum roll*
A shocking 96%!!! I tried being tough on you…
Yours, Micky
09-Dec-2007 01:57:27
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