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Elitemage14

Posts: 12,429 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

For anyone that's interested, I'm thinking about posting a new story here. (Don't worry; I'm not giving up on this one or anything)

Basically, it's kind of a futuristic story and there will be advanced technologies like gauss and plasma based weaponry.

The story is going to start off with a large meteorite crashing to Runescape, and when investigated there seems to be a metal, manmade hull underneath the rocky exterior. A team is sent in to blast through the hull, and inside they find that the asteroid has been hollowed out and been used to create a spaceship of sorts.

On board the ship are elves, dwarves, and gnomes, the three intelligent nonhuman races that have been absent from Runescape for centuries and turned into myth.

As it turns out, these races had been driven from their homes hundreds of years before during the fifth age. With the ever growing and expanding human population in need of new land and resources, these three races were driven to near extinction and isolation. And as man remained at war with itself and forever in the dark ages, these races were able to avoid the conflicts ravaging Runescape and able to develop much quicker than the rest of the world.

But after many, many years in isolation, instead of using their advanced technologies to strike back against humanity, they chose to maintain their peaceful ways of life. With the combination of dwarven engineering and elven and gnomish magics, they eventually left for the stars, finding their own world to call home and remain in harmony.

But for some reason this group has returned to the world of Runescape (A Runescape that has largely been able to catch up technologically in the centuries they've been gone), and beyond that I won't spoil it any further.

07-Apr-2010 03:18:53

TurtleMasta5

Posts: 6,041 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

It definitely sounds interesting, but please do not fall into the pit of sci-fi authors that sound like they're writing histories, and not a novel. Don't make it based on the weaponary and technology, and not the characters.

I Know you won't but i've read way too many spoilt sci-fi stories.

Just Bookmarking, by the way.

-Turtlemasta

07-Apr-2010 21:46:16

Elitemage14

Posts: 12,429 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

I do think the lore behind the story could be interesting, but you're right in that I have to make sure I don't overdue it and make it into a history paper.

07-Apr-2010 23:02:42

Dudeski

Posts: 4,891 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Good somewhat enlightening (XD) adds, Elite. That story above seems pretty unique; I'd try to expand it some more.

I caught some errors that stood out to me:

"He just walked in complete silence and >>payed<< them no attention, which John found unnerving and it made the journey pretty awkward. He just couldn't figure out the guy."

That should be 'paid'. I think there's also a missing comma between 'unnerving' and 'and'.

"The weapon was ungodly heavy."

Ungodly doesn't really work like that with another adjective. It would've been 'ungodily' heavy, so I'd find another word.

"I have no idea what's going on here, but yall seem to have some interest in the two of us, and it's probably for the same reason."

Missing the apostrophe in y'all.

Anyway, great adds! Moar

08-Apr-2010 02:40:31 - Last edited on 08-Apr-2010 02:40:56 by Dudeski

[#E9V58MRL2]

Posts: 690 Steel Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Epic, if I do say so myself. The computer entry is very original, and it leaves you wondering things like,
"What happened?"
"Who is typing this?"
"Why must we hide?"
"Why are there lyrics to Johnny Cash songs?"
and even,
"Who is dumb enough to fall into the ring of fire?"

John is definately an...interesting character, and seems to be the highly awesome beast-of-a-character who provides the BA-ness of the group.

I'm hoping that even if John is based off of you, you are no gun-toting pill-chugging self surgery-performing high school drop-out. If you are, O_o

Great story.

EDIT: Dangit, Ring of Fire is stuck in my head.

08-Apr-2010 02:42:31 - Last edited on 08-Apr-2010 21:34:49 by [#E9V58MRL2]

Elitemage14

Posts: 12,429 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Thanks for pointing out those mistakes, Dudely. I'll be sure to fix them right away.

And don't worry, fiction. John is somewhat based off of me, but I did take a lot of poetic license

. I don't pop pills or perform surgery on myself or anything like that.

Appearance wise I based him off of me, and like me he is also a wrestler, hence most of the moves he pulled in the fight scene at the hotel are wrestling moves. But where most of the similarities lay are just in that sense of unknowing and uncertainty about taking that next step in life, although right now John is facing a lot more challenges than your typical high schooler

09-Apr-2010 00:02:37 - Last edited on 09-Apr-2010 00:04:41 by Elitemage14

[#E9V58MRL2]

Posts: 690 Steel Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Oh good. For a seconds, I was wondering if you perhaps should be in a straitjacket!

"Two atoms walk into a bar. One says, 'I think I lost an electron.' The other asks, 'Are you sure?' The first responds, 'I'm positive!'"

OK, so it's been awhile since I saw that one. Good ol' Wadsworth.

09-Apr-2010 02:59:17

Elitemage14

Posts: 12,429 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

~*~

"I was born in Karamja many years ago," Leon said. "The village I grew up in was a small one located on the dry grassland plains. At sunrise me and the other boys would leave with our fathers to hunt the waking wildlife, and in the afternoons return to tend and harvest what crops the soil would allow us.

"Back then, the continent was still young and largely untapped by human hands. The savannas and jungles brimmed with game and vegetation, and the earth and its minerals remained undisturbed.

"It was a rich, simple way of life that lasted until I reached the age of eighteen. That was when we first came in contact with the outsiders, and nothing was ever the same after that.

"White men came to our village, missionaries sent by the church of Saradomin to spread the word of their god to the continent. Most of them were nice people. They brought medicine and blankets for the villagers, and did their best to learn our language and customs. In exchange, all they asked was the opportunity to speak to us about their lord Saradomin. Most of the villagers listened to what they had to say, and some even converted, but most kept true to their aboriginal faiths and life went on.

"Six months after the missionaries first arrived is when we began to notice a change. More of them trickled into the continent, but these men and women did not have the compassion the originals had. They did not care about the people of Karamja; they only cared about themselves. Apparently the church had grown displeased with the slow progress, and had relaxed their rules on who they would allow to join their quest to bring their faith to the people of Karamja.

10-Apr-2010 07:33:56 - Last edited on 10-Apr-2010 07:34:49 by Elitemage14

Elitemage14

Posts: 12,429 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

"These newcomers harassed the villagers. Like the others they preached the word of Saradomin, but had no respect for the locals' customs and traditions. To them, we were no more than savages. They beat those that refused to accept Saradomin into their hearts, and claimed that in doing so they were doing us a favor.

"Yet there were worse things to come. The church's efforts had grown expensive, so to cut costs they began to prospect the land, land they had no rights to, and sold it to private parties. Miners and craftsmen began to sail to the continent and steal our vast resources of gems, ore, and lumber. Our land became polluted and uninhabitable, the wildlife began to die out, and we were plunged into deep poverty.

"My heart became full of hate as I watched these outsiders ruin the continent and wipe out generations of our culture and tradition. One day I took up my spear and began to wage war on the foreigners. My demands were simple: leave this land peacefully or be killed.

"Others began to join my plight. We moved up and down the continent, slowly liberating Karamja from the control of the outsiders. But how we did this is a tale best suited for another time.

"Many years later we had finally completed our goals; Karamja had regained its independence and we were finally at peace, although we did allow some of the outsiders who were true at heart to stay.

"I eventually returned to my childhood village, but things were different now. I tried to go back to my regular life, but I just couldn't. No matter what I did, I always had this feeling of anxiety that I could not shed.

"The job was done, but after years of waging my war for independence, how was I to return to my old lifestyle? How could I fill the emptiness that war had left me with? What could I do to again feel the rush that combat gave me?

10-Apr-2010 07:34:02 - Last edited on 10-Apr-2010 07:35:00 by Elitemage14

Elitemage14

Posts: 12,429 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

"I ended up leaving Karamja and setting sail for the mainland, and I sold my services as a soldier to those that I had hated for so long. I was no longer fighting for a cause that I truly believed in, but instead killing enemies that I did not know and laying waste to villages for reasons that were not mine.

"I began to realize that I was no better than those that had invaded my land as a youngster. I was worse, in fact, and it disgusted me. I considered just ending it all, taking my knife and slashing my own throat for what I had done. But as I raised the tip of the blade up to my neck, I could feel something to the west calling out for me, so I followed it.

"For weeks I traveled on foot, not knowing where I was going or why. Eventually I reached what I thought to be my destination, but to my surprise there was nothing there. I was standing in the middle of a dirt road with nothing but trees and grass around me.

"I began to wonder if my journey had been nothing but a waste of time when something very odd happened. Time seemed to fly past me. Before my eyes I saw the lives of thousands upon thousands of men and women begin and end. I saw houses sprout up from the ground, only for them to fall and have new ones appear in their place. I gazed in awe as what seemed like a thousand seasons flew by, spring giving way for autumn, the leaves falling and being covered with snow, and then the bright sun melting the white flakes over and over again.

"And just as I thought my mind could take no more, it ended, and I was standing in the middle of a road covered in a black, almost tar-like substance. Bright lights hanging from poles flashed green, yellow, and red, and all around me were these massive metal carriages that I had never in my life seen before.

"Whatever I was suppose to do, I knew that this was the right place.

10-Apr-2010 07:34:09 - Last edited on 10-Apr-2010 07:35:13 by Elitemage14

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