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[#C3FW206YM]

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Chapter 40 continued

*Zaros teleports away*

Armadyl: Glad that mess is over.

Evil Bob: Miooww!

Armadyl: Noooooo!

*Evil Bob takes Armadyl away*

Elite Noob: Come on John! Let’s go find some feathers! I heard we can make money from them!

End Chapter 40

26-Jan-2007 23:40:58 - Last edited on 22-Jul-2007 17:32:30 by [#C3FW206YM]

[#C3FW206YM]

[#C3FW206YM]

Posts: 14,572 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Chapter 41

Elite Noob: Let’s go kill those chickens!

John: Hurrah!

*As John and Elite Noob make their way to the chicken coop, some high levels with nothing better to do start a conversation*

M to t3h 3: I bet my Raiders’ tickets you couldn’t teach those noobs to kill a chicken.

Ready4fun: Sure! This will be easy!

*Ready4fun approaches the Chicken Coop*

Elite Noob: Darn! John, this time let’s click on the farmer!

*Elite Noob and John run over to the Farmer barraging him with endless punches*

Farmer: Nooooo! I’m going down for the last time!

*The farmer throws some Bendy Straws on the ground*

Farmer: Save yourselves Marice and Gordon!

*Farmer dies*

John: Darn! I guess he wasn’t a chicken in disguise after all!

Ready4fun: Erm… There are a couple of chickens right here…

Elite Noob: L-O-L! You expect Jagex to make it that easy for us? Why do you think Jagex gives out “Hidden Updates”? Because the chickens are in disguise!

Ready4fun: Who told you such nonsense!

Chicken: *Whistles suspiciously*

Ready4fun: …You believe a chicken over Jagex?

John: Who doesn’t! I mean, it’s not like Jagex put a big update dedicated only to chickens not being in disguises, right?

Ready4fun: …I guess*

*Ready4fun goes to the message center and asks Jagex to dedicate an update to chickens not being in disguise so he could win a couple of Raiders’ tickets. Here is Jagex’s reply:

We are sorry, (Insert Name here) but our schedules are booked with (Insert Fun Activities here) and press conferences (aka: pizza nights). Besides, (Insert Name Here), who would be stupid enough to think chickens are in disguise?

Sincerely,

Jagex employee wasting time typing when he could be having pizza.

P.S. Thanks for admitting to pass scamming. Expect your ban in ten minutes. Have a nice day!

*Ready4fun logs in to his last nine minutes of playing Runscape*

Elite Noob: Wahoo! I killed a chicken in disguise as a chicken! How obvious!

28-Jan-2007 15:07:15 - Last edited on 26-Jul-2007 16:15:01 by [#C3FW206YM]

[#C3FW206YM]

[#C3FW206YM]

Posts: 14,572 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Chapter 41 continued

Ready4fun: Hey! I can still get my tickets!

*Ready4fun runs over to where his friend was standing*

Ready4fun: Hey! I taught some noobs how to kill a chicken!

M to t3h 3: Oh, sorry man. The tickets I got are three years old.

Ready4fun: …You mean I got banned, wasted time, and got humiliated by Jagex just to get out of date tickets to a Raiders’ game three years ago?

M to t3h 3: Hee hee! Best half hour I ever spent!

Jagex Mod: Account banning in three. Two. One.

*Ready4fun logs out permanently*

End Chapter 41

29-Jan-2007 06:10:03 - Last edited on 26-Jul-2007 16:15:50 by [#C3FW206YM]

[#C3FW206YM]

[#C3FW206YM]

Posts: 14,572 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Chapter 42

Elite Noob: Chickens, prepare to meet your maker!

*Elite Noob slays another defenseless chicken*

John: We’ll be rich in no time!

Tax Collector: You have no idea.

Elite Noob: *Gasp* It’s Uncle Benny! I’m so sorry for not giving you back your firstborn son!

Tax Collector: Huh? What?

Elite Noob: I’ll do anything! Just don’t steal my precious snicker doodle cookies!

Tax Collector: It seems like I have no choice. Time to bring in Good ol’ Bessie.

*Tax Collector sets down a dusty record player*

Record Player: *Vwerp* Hello idiotic imbeciles. You seem to have mistaken this tax collector as a relative/drunken dwarf/insane sandwich lady/Ronald McDonald. Please take a good look at the collector, and prove he isn’t any of those above choices. This message will now self destruct.

Tax Collector: Heh heh. Here come the soft cuddly pillows.

John: Augh! I’m allergic to those!

*John runs for the hills*

*Good ol’ Bessie explodes, scorching the Tax Collector with third degree burns*

Tax Collector: Those guys at Jagex Pizza Roof are liars! I hate those meanies!

*Three months later*

Nurse: Ha ha ha! Pillows! *snicker* Hee hoo ha!

*Tax Collector heads back to the chicken coop*

John: Woot! Three feathers! I’m rich!

Tax Collector: I’ll take that!

Elite Noob: Hey! Thievery of Idiots is Thursday’s activity!

Tax Collector: Allow me to explain. Mod Andrew sent me here to insert the tax of Runescape upon the population. You will need to give me 101% of everything you own.

John: Gimme my feathers or I’ll call Uncle Benny and tell him to show you his high school gym sock collection!

Tax Collector: … just for that anything you get for the next thirty seconds will go into my bank account.

Random Kindness Guy: Dude, John, I hate the color green so here’s a green mask.

John: Hurray!

*Tax Collector activates Item Stealing code*

29-Jan-2007 15:20:38 - Last edited on 11-Aug-2007 21:11:24 by [#C3FW206YM]

[#C3FW206YM]

[#C3FW206YM]

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Rookie Cookie Jagex Mod: Aha! Caught you at last you stupid hacker!

Tax Collector: Nooooo!

*Tax Collector has entered Bansville*

Random Kindness Guy: Oh no! My cover is blown!

Elite Noob: That’s okay. Here’s a virtual cookie.

John: My cookie!

*John eats the cookie*

Random Kindness Guy: THAT WAS MY COOKIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Random Kindness Guy goes up in flames*

Elite Noob: Let’s go find someone to buy our six feathers!

End Chapter 42

31-Jan-2007 01:53:21 - Last edited on 11-Aug-2007 21:11:39 by [#C3FW206YM]

[#C3FW206YM]

[#C3FW206YM]

Posts: 14,572 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Chapter 43

Elite Noob: Selling six feathers!

Bt(r)thaneltnb: Not buying six feathers!

John: But we need the money!

Bt(r)thaneltnb: Well go to Varrok or somewhere else and find someone who cares.

Elite Noob: That’s the best idea I ever came up with without stealing it from another source! Like the Periwinkle Kitten Tears or the Casino in Lumbridge or…

Bt(r)thaneltnb: …if I tell you how to get to Varrok, will you never talk to me again?

Elite Noob: And not to mention the nice warm pool in that volcano. I come up with great ideas!

John: Hurray, off to Varrok!

*Elite Noob and John eventually and uneventfully arrive at Varrok*

Elite Noob: Ooooh! Look! A fortune teller!

*Elite Noob and John approach the Gypsy*

John: Cut to the chase, tell me my fortune!

Gypsy: You will lose a large sum of money in the near future, sixteen gold coins to be exact, which just so happens to be my fortune telling fee.

John: Oh dear! I better find sixteen gold coins fast!

*John dashes into the night*

Elite Noob: What’s my fortune?

Gypsy: Hmmm... this is a tough one. I got it! As long as you do not die, you shall live forever!

*John returns looking exhausted*

John: *gasp* *pant* I got the money. Can I have another fortune?

Gypsy: My crystal ball is telling me that you are going to do something foolish soon. Here, let me scribble “Gullible Fool” on your forehead with permanent marker, standard procedure and all that jazz. You should also wear this dunce cap, scream like a little girl, and run through town.

John: Thanks! I don’* want to look like a fool! How can I ever repay you?

Gypsy: With money. Lots and lots of money.

Elite Noob: Okay, we’ll go get you some!

End Chapter 43

31-Jan-2007 02:09:49 - Last edited on 18-Aug-2007 20:18:01 by [#C3FW206YM]

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