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“Oh, you bet it’s me again!” Zirax shouted as he closed in on the Spider. “I might not have made my presence known since Chapter 5 of The Age of Nhur, but who doesn’t love a good comeback, eh?”
I use similar statements in my own stories. also, the Spider goes, 'Christ, you scared me to death', so does that mean the Spider knows the story of the Nazarene? 0.o
I liked this chapter, but I am still more interested in other things that have yet to unfold (unsurprisingly).
of course a good fan is not true without a little critisism, eh? I'd like to point out that you are kinda overusing ... and I have seen the word haphazardly several times. o=
another thing is how characters are, say, randomly teleporting to the scene suddenly here and there. I know some of them are following targets and all, but even that's a tad bit too frequent :/
During the last fight, ppl are disposed of within seconds even though they wear armour, so how strng are these lightsaber-like swords? doesnt make much sense to wear red armour if they can be cut through easily.
I like to have characters wear armour, but armoured characters certainly can take lots of punishment in my stories, so the opposing force often has to break apart the armour first at least, that sort of thing.
not that those things are an issue, but hey, I need to find a reason to get angry.
specimen six, is that a reference to AvP?
Six is a number I see rather often. In fallout new vegas you are courier six.
well, that's all for now. cheers.
I use similar statements in my own stories. also, the Spider goes, 'Christ, you scared me to death', so does that mean the Spider knows the story of the Nazarene? 0.o
I liked this chapter, but I am still more interested in other things that have yet to unfold (unsurprisingly).
of course a good fan is not true without a little critisism, eh? I'd like to point out that you are kinda overusing ... and I have seen the word haphazardly several times. o=
another thing is how characters are, say, randomly teleporting to the scene suddenly here and there. I know some of them are following targets and all, but even that's a tad bit too frequent :/
During the last fight, ppl are disposed of within seconds even though they wear armour, so how strng are these lightsaber-like swords? doesnt make much sense to wear red armour if they can be cut through easily.
I like to have characters wear armour, but armoured characters certainly can take lots of punishment in my stories, so the opposing force often has to break apart the armour first at least, that sort of thing.
not that those things are an issue, but hey, I need to find a reason to get angry.
specimen six, is that a reference to AvP?
Six is a number I see rather often. In fallout new vegas you are courier six.
well, that's all for now. cheers.
21-Aug-2011 06:36:01
Heh. I'll try my best to respond to the criticism, but seriously...thanks. Some of the stuff I just haven't noticed o.O
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"I use similar statements in my own stories. also, the Spider goes, 'Christ, you scared me to death', so does that mean the Spider knows the story of the Nazarene? 0.o"
<>
Weelll....there's one of two possible reasons for it. Either it's a common expression in the world, or there's something wrong with his "armor" that's starting to come out and influence him in subtle ways.
I'll let the readers decide
"of course a good fan is not true without a little critisism, eh? I'd like to point out that you are kinda overusing ... and I have seen the word haphazardly several times. o="
<>
Noted. That's one of the things I haven't realized, truthfully x.x
"another thing is how characters are, say, randomly teleporting to the scene suddenly here and there. I know some of them are following targets and all, but even that's a tad bit too frequent :/"
<>
To be fair, the only characters pulling that kind of thing are the ones with magical abilities or some kind of magical item to compensate for their lack of physical ability.
I'll admit that it's a valid point, but at the same time I'd rather let the magic-based guys stick to their strengths and use their powers instead of walking around everywhere or using fancy fighting moves to get close to a target.
Though the recent chapter gives me an excuse to try out different ways of transportation too. So we'll see what happens in the meantime x.x
(con next post)
<><>
"I use similar statements in my own stories. also, the Spider goes, 'Christ, you scared me to death', so does that mean the Spider knows the story of the Nazarene? 0.o"
<>
Weelll....there's one of two possible reasons for it. Either it's a common expression in the world, or there's something wrong with his "armor" that's starting to come out and influence him in subtle ways.
I'll let the readers decide
"of course a good fan is not true without a little critisism, eh? I'd like to point out that you are kinda overusing ... and I have seen the word haphazardly several times. o="
<>
Noted. That's one of the things I haven't realized, truthfully x.x
"another thing is how characters are, say, randomly teleporting to the scene suddenly here and there. I know some of them are following targets and all, but even that's a tad bit too frequent :/"
<>
To be fair, the only characters pulling that kind of thing are the ones with magical abilities or some kind of magical item to compensate for their lack of physical ability.
I'll admit that it's a valid point, but at the same time I'd rather let the magic-based guys stick to their strengths and use their powers instead of walking around everywhere or using fancy fighting moves to get close to a target.
Though the recent chapter gives me an excuse to try out different ways of transportation too. So we'll see what happens in the meantime x.x
(con next post)
^+^ Antediluvian of the Draculesti Bloodline ^+^
^+^ If the Gods see fit to curse us with the Blood, then we shall raise ourselves above them ^+^
21-Aug-2011 20:57:36
(the last post lied. No characters left x.x)
"During the last fight, ppl are disposed of within seconds even though they wear armour, so how strng are these lightsaber-like swords? doesnt make much sense to wear red armour if they can be cut through easily.
I like to have characters wear armour, but armoured characters certainly can take lots of punishment in my stories, so the opposing force often has to break apart the armour first at least, that sort of thing."
<>
At the risk of spoilers: We're talking about humans being pitted against enemies that might not even be (fully) human...nor are the baddies using conventional magic. Even then the mercenaries were armed to deal with an escaped lab experiment at that particular point in time, not assassins whose range of abilities isn't even clear at this point.
And to be fair, my stories aren't exactly along the "heroic" lines of things. They're more along the lines of dark fantasy instead, where the fights are fast and deadly to all but the most powerful of characters (who, consequently, might end up paying a price for their power).
So while the guys who break apart armor to get at each other *do* exist from time to time, they'll be a rarity in this series.
"not that those things are an issue, but hey, I need to find a reason to get angry."
<>
Anger is good. I can't improve any other way
"specimen six, is that a reference to AvP?
Six is a number I see rather often. In fallout new vegas you are courier six."
<>
Idk about fallout, but yes to the AvP thing. The Alien campaign was my favorite in the history of the series, so a little nod to it was appropriate in my eyes
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Think that should cover it. Again, thanks for that. I really do appreciate feedback like that even though I tend to get a little defensive over it sometimes
"During the last fight, ppl are disposed of within seconds even though they wear armour, so how strng are these lightsaber-like swords? doesnt make much sense to wear red armour if they can be cut through easily.
I like to have characters wear armour, but armoured characters certainly can take lots of punishment in my stories, so the opposing force often has to break apart the armour first at least, that sort of thing."
<>
At the risk of spoilers: We're talking about humans being pitted against enemies that might not even be (fully) human...nor are the baddies using conventional magic. Even then the mercenaries were armed to deal with an escaped lab experiment at that particular point in time, not assassins whose range of abilities isn't even clear at this point.
And to be fair, my stories aren't exactly along the "heroic" lines of things. They're more along the lines of dark fantasy instead, where the fights are fast and deadly to all but the most powerful of characters (who, consequently, might end up paying a price for their power).
So while the guys who break apart armor to get at each other *do* exist from time to time, they'll be a rarity in this series.
"not that those things are an issue, but hey, I need to find a reason to get angry."
<>
Anger is good. I can't improve any other way
"specimen six, is that a reference to AvP?
Six is a number I see rather often. In fallout new vegas you are courier six."
<>
Idk about fallout, but yes to the AvP thing. The Alien campaign was my favorite in the history of the series, so a little nod to it was appropriate in my eyes
<><><><><>
Think that should cover it. Again, thanks for that. I really do appreciate feedback like that even though I tend to get a little defensive over it sometimes
^+^ Antediluvian of the Draculesti Bloodline ^+^
^+^ If the Gods see fit to curse us with the Blood, then we shall raise ourselves above them ^+^
21-Aug-2011 21:27:13
Ah, that certainly clears up some things. When I imagine humanoid-shaped creatures I get this assumption that they are somewhat within what a human can do.
but yeah, I have problems noticing things myself in my own stories. ig, in SAS, a fan mentions how I use 'hard enough' a lot in my description, which I did notice in its use, but when I reread the story I noticed that I sometimes used 'hard enough' up to several times in just one paragraph, and I counted three uses of it in just one sentence once.
so no worries, I do the same little errors every now and then myself.
AvP, heehee. ALIEN Ressurection was one of the earliest movies I remember watching. Funny to think that I watched the Alien series backwards over the years (from 4 to 1), and when I watched the movies again after so many years I was surprised that they werent as scary as I remembered. Ah, childhood.
funny thing about the Aliens is that their creator, a Swiss artist, drew the first concepts of their image in relation to the, well, male reproductive organ, which explains the phallic appearance of the Alien's head, tail and tongue. 0.o
btw, I see you avatar wears a blue hat, does this relate to the recent events that JAGEX made?
when money gets over your head
but yeah, I have problems noticing things myself in my own stories. ig, in SAS, a fan mentions how I use 'hard enough' a lot in my description, which I did notice in its use, but when I reread the story I noticed that I sometimes used 'hard enough' up to several times in just one paragraph, and I counted three uses of it in just one sentence once.
so no worries, I do the same little errors every now and then myself.
AvP, heehee. ALIEN Ressurection was one of the earliest movies I remember watching. Funny to think that I watched the Alien series backwards over the years (from 4 to 1), and when I watched the movies again after so many years I was surprised that they werent as scary as I remembered. Ah, childhood.
funny thing about the Aliens is that their creator, a Swiss artist, drew the first concepts of their image in relation to the, well, male reproductive organ, which explains the phallic appearance of the Alien's head, tail and tongue. 0.o
btw, I see you avatar wears a blue hat, does this relate to the recent events that JAGEX made?
when money gets over your head
21-Aug-2011 23:41:50 - Last edited on 21-Aug-2011 23:43:59 by Azigarath
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