RuneScape Forum Archive | Aspergers Syndrome

Wild Bill63

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Aspergers Syndrome definition: (according to someone who has it, me)
A form of autism that affects communication skills, and relationships.

This is something the docs originally thought was ADHD (because there are very similar symptoms apparently) which we found out I had back in 2012 I think. See I have always had difficulty finding friends, even to this day it is almost impossible which is evident out of the fact that no one ever wants to visit me, I've never been invited to anything either by the way so most of my life I've been alone in some form. Often times I wonder what I've done wrong that would make people not want to be around me but apparently I haven't really done anything, people just don't know how to deal with folks with aspergers syndrome (it's really easy by the way). So hopefully this might help understand folks with this diagnoses a little better.

NOTE: I am not an expert, I've just had to live with it my whole life (so I kind of am an expert)

In my interactions with people I've noticed they find it difficult at times to understand what I mean which is honestly puzzling because the words coming out of my mouth are exactly what I mean. The problem is that while I'm making perfect sense to myself others don't seem to quite grasp what I'm trying to communicate (it's incredibly frustrating for me, even more so when I can see that others are confused by what I'm saying)

I can also sometimes come across as being a major jerk - here's why. The only way I know how to communicate is the only way I know how to communicate. If I state my opinion and it seems to be offensive it's probably not meant to be that way, I just don't know how else to say what I'm trying to say other than the way I'd be saying it. If I beat around the bush people would be confused, if I'm straight forward I'm a jerk (there's no easy option about it). which leads me to the point about relationships (any kinds, not just with a special individual)

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31-Jan-2021 02:05:47 - Last edited on 31-Jan-2021 02:36:36 by Wild Bill63

Wild Bill63

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Because of the difficulty in communicating I'm also a bit awkward (almost everyone with aspergers is awkward). It probably doesn't take a genius to figure out how that can quickly wreck a relationship especially with someone you're interested in. At the same time however, we are masters at small talk (not everyone), but then we run into yet ANOTHER problem. No one interested in dating wants to always carry on small talk. It gets old. Even for me, someone with aspergers, like I WANT to do more than small talk but the way my brain is wired won't allow it and it's frustrating. I mean who'd want to be around someone who can't carry a conversation for very long? Not me (and I'm the guy with the socializing disorder lol).

Now here's the kicker - imagine being a social person who LOVES meeting/getting to know people and just being a dumpster fire at the very skill needed to do those things. AB-SO-LUTLEY hilarious. The reason that's funny is because everyone wants friends but it's difficult to be friends with someone that's so awkward (I'm speaking from experience, being the awkward person mentioned). Let's say you're in a group somewhere with people and everyone seems to be having a ball, everyone has someone to talk to then there's you. By yourself, so you go try to meet a few people but you can't seem to really connect with other people too well. Again FRUST-RATING. Then you feel kind of alone and you decide to leave feeling like no one would really notice if you left. That's about what it's like having aspergers.

Now talking about having a special someone - as stated before, in my experience that's nearly impossible for all the reasons stated above yet it isn't totally impossible. I have had some amazing friendships and at the age of 27 I finally had my first girlfriend who after a month became an ex (we are still good friends).

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31-Jan-2021 02:23:11

Wild Bill63

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Those are just the negatives of aspergers specifically, now on a more broad view it's a known fact that some folks with autism (which aspergers falls under) have other things that can be seen as a major plus. There are people who are absolute geniuses yet crazy awkward and just not the best conversational company. Personally speaking I can play drums, guitar, harmonica, piano and right now I'm learning violin, aside from that I do 3D modeling/animation. I've also discovered that I am very good at certain types of work such as leather crafting, tanning hides/furs, and building things/redneck engineering.

Basically there are positives and negatives to it. Often times honestly I find myself looking at the negatives because a life long dream I've had is to find a special lady friend (in layman's terms - get married, get hitched, jump the broom, etc.)

I should have said this first: This isn't a mental illness - it's literally how the brain is wired.

Anyway that's my personal dealings with aspergers syndrome, if anyone has any questions, comments, then feel free to say what's on your mind.

31-Jan-2021 02:31:58 - Last edited on 31-Jan-2021 02:37:42 by Wild Bill63

FiFi LaFeles

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I have a friend who is married to a guy with Asperger's. He's extremely socially awkward, has no friends. I don't see him anymore, I can't deal with the way he is - that being always bordering on aggressive in conversation and obtuse. I know it's not his fault but I just don't want to be around him.

She's clearly far more tolerant than I. She once asked him to get her car serviced - she was at work that day, he was on annual leave. He duly dropped it off at the Garage in the morning, when she got home from work (after 6pm when the Garage was closed) - no car.

When she asked what was wrong, why he hadn't picked it up he said she hadn't told him to pick it up when it was ready. He takes everything absolutely literally, doesn't use any logical thought. To me, such a request would have meant drop it off and pick it up after, but not to him as she hadn't precisely specified the order of events.

He also doesn't understand jokes, humour, comedy, sarcasm, satire etc.

I don't suppose all people who have Asperger's are like that, there's probably variations in degree.

Le Chat Guerrier

Bwian's Towel & Grief Shop

31-Jan-2021 02:59:55

Dec

2011

Draco Burnz

Posts: 79,296 Emerald Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

I have this and can say that i like doing things more on my own than with others.

Hence why i play rs more solo.

Also when im not at work im at home watching animes and playing video games.

@Fifi, i understand jokes quite well so i can say no, not all ppl with this are like that.

Sometimes they do go over my head though.

Draco Burnz

Anime Fanatic

Defender of the logical

31-Jan-2021 03:30:57

Wild Bill63

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@FiFi there are definitely variations, because at the end of the day every one is technically different. Lot's of people have told me I'm hilarious though at times I do need to be told very specific instructions, for example. Someone tells me to chop limbs over "there" then gets upset when I go to chop limbs "over there". My "over there" isn't their over there and how I did it exactly is apparently incorrect.

So to avoid stress, just be specific please. Lol. If the order in which something is done matters then mention that as well. Everyone with autism of some variety is aware of how different they are and as you so wisely said "They can't help being the way they are" so with that said we are constantly trying to get things right. In my own case I have a learning disability compounded with aspergers so I do come across as a total moron at times.

The guy who told me to cut the limbs even had me climb up a tree to cut more limbs and was still a total jerk. I quit during my lunch break. Didn't even bother going back. An employer should never abuse their employees ever for any reason at all.

31-Jan-2021 06:16:38

Dec

2011

Draco Burnz

Posts: 79,296 Emerald Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

Wild Bill63 said :
@FiFi there are definitely variations, because at the end of the day every one is technically different. Lot's of people have told me I'm hilarious though at times I do need to be told very specific instructions, for example. Someone tells me to chop limbs over "there" then gets upset when I go to chop limbs "over there". My "over there" isn't their over there and how I did it exactly is apparently incorrect.

So to avoid stress, just be specific please. Lol. If the order in which something is done matters then mention that as well. Everyone with autism of some variety is aware of how different they are and as you so wisely said "They can't help being the way they are" so with that said we are constantly trying to get things right. In my own case I have a learning disability compounded with aspergers so I do come across as a total moron at times.

Exactly. This is me to a T.

Also, i tend to learn better with visual ques than audio as i can actually see what needs to be done and make sure im doing it correctly.

Draco Burnz

Anime Fanatic

Defender of the logical

31-Jan-2021 06:39:51

FiFi LaFeles

Posts: 24,106 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile

I'd no assumptions that people with Asperger's were in any way unintelligent, as a group.
Friend's husband has, for decades, worked at a large Bank in their Foreign Exchange department so is obviously well able and intelligent enough to fulfil the needs of an employer.
Sorry if I came across as implying unintelligence in any way.

I asked him once why he'd stayed in the same role for 30 years and not moved on, or sought promotion etc. The bottom line appears to be that he hates for things to change; even at home he is resistant to small changes hence their lounge has not been decorated for 20 years as he'd find it too unsettling. Friend bought some new seating (as it was literally falling to bits) and he had a meltdown.

Is this a common theme with Asperger's, this adverse reaction to changes in environment?

Le Chat Guerrier

Bwian's Towel & Grief Shop

31-Jan-2021 11:36:56