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COMBAY, Porschestan - Porschestan is now allied with the friendly country ruled by E Chip, according to an official government speech by the Supreme Dictator earlier this morning. The alliance has guaranteed a joint attack on Turkmenistan. Porschestan will invade by land while E Chip's ships shoot missiles from the ocean thousands of miles away. Waterice Man, another world leader, has also offered the usage of an aquatic assault craft to be utilized in the invasion. The effectiveness of this is uncertain, considering Porschestan has no coastline. The Supreme Dictator, however, seemed to be thankful for the generosity of other countries who support Porschestan and our communist government.
SUPREME DICTATOR'S OFFICE, Porschestan - Shortly after the Supreme Dictator gave his speech mentioned in the article above, a bomb went off in the crowd, killing 122 people and injuring hundreds more. The explosion was believed to have been an assassination attempt on our great leader by the military of Turkmenistan. Military reports from towns near the border with Turkmenistan also confirm that the military there has been mobilized and each day the size of the army grows. Invasion seems imminent.
DEPARTMENT OF INDUSTRY OFFICE, Porschestan - The Porschestani Department of Industry received a report today from the Scarab Tribe that an oil to masonite factory on the edge of Combay was not following regulations, according to yet another official government report. The report claims that the factory is only using half of the required masonite, thus making it illegal. The tribesmen even threatened to attack the factory and the government if the problem was not fixed immediately. The government is still investigating the claim, an official response will probably come out later, but I don't know. I'm just a journalist.
06-Dec-2008 04:32:54
