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Thie Ghost and the Girl
Quick find code: 49-50-999-56741500
Wow... umm.. Ok... where to start first? *Flips through a random book he pulled from absoluetly nowhere*
Ah! Here it is!
Ok 1st of izzal! The way you're writing is known as Brick! (Brickage, bricka*rack, take your pick
) Aaaaannnyhoodle, Brick is when you have all your setences all squashed up like what you have now. *Hisses* This is physically (And emotionally) painful and causes eye-strain! (Bad eye-strain!) The best way to defeat the evil known as Brick is to call forth the almighty Enter button! *Holy chorus*
Give it a good two whacks every 3-5 setences and watch as the Brick melts away like throwing holywater (Bleach) on that kid at skool you don't like. (You know who i'm talkin about)
ALSO! Another way to pwn Brick is to seperate character dialogue into paragraphs of its own. I noticed you've done a bit of that but lemme give ya a little shove in the right direction with one of Zephyros' famous examples!! *Crickets*
Ex: Bob was walking down the street one day when he noticed his friend, Jim across from him. "Hey, Jim." Bob calls out, waving to his friend.
"What's up, Bob?" Jim replies, waving back and hiding the fact that he hates Bob's guts.
Not the best example i'm sure, but it's a start. Ok so far that's it because... well I just refuse to try and read through brick...
Tell ya what! You break everything in2 paragraphs and i'll come back and read what ya got. Then I get to trash you on your detail
(o(v<X>v)o) Wielder Of The Soul Eater: Anirbas & /\/øble~Óƒ~The~Ñew~Åge~\/\/riters (o(v<X>v)o)
(/)•÷±‡±|ð|ð| The Thirteen Personalities Of A Word Smith in the Ye Old Story Guild |ð|ð|±‡±÷•(\)
Ah! Here it is!
Ok 1st of izzal! The way you're writing is known as Brick! (Brickage, bricka*rack, take your pick
) Aaaaannnyhoodle, Brick is when you have all your setences all squashed up like what you have now. *Hisses* This is physically (And emotionally) painful and causes eye-strain! (Bad eye-strain!) The best way to defeat the evil known as Brick is to call forth the almighty Enter button! *Holy chorus*
Give it a good two whacks every 3-5 setences and watch as the Brick melts away like throwing holywater (Bleach) on that kid at skool you don't like. (You know who i'm talkin about)
ALSO! Another way to pwn Brick is to seperate character dialogue into paragraphs of its own. I noticed you've done a bit of that but lemme give ya a little shove in the right direction with one of Zephyros' famous examples!! *Crickets*
Ex: Bob was walking down the street one day when he noticed his friend, Jim across from him. "Hey, Jim." Bob calls out, waving to his friend.
"What's up, Bob?" Jim replies, waving back and hiding the fact that he hates Bob's guts.
Not the best example i'm sure, but it's a start. Ok so far that's it because... well I just refuse to try and read through brick...
Tell ya what! You break everything in2 paragraphs and i'll come back and read what ya got. Then I get to trash you on your detail
(o(v<X>v)o) Wielder Of The Soul Eater: Anirbas & /\/øble~Óƒ~The~Ñew~Åge~\/\/riters (o(v<X>v)o)
(/)•÷±‡±|ð|ð| The Thirteen Personalities Of A Word Smith in the Ye Old Story Guild |ð|ð|±‡±÷•(\)
02-Jun-2008 00:54:28
cool
(¯`•._)Mëmbër×Ïñ×Wrî†êrš×Õƒ×Rûñë§cåpë(¯`•._)
~ ¨·•„.„•¨·•„.„•¨·•„.„•¨·•„.„•·¨·•„.„•·¨Ì~Màçøw~Møø¨·•„.„•·¨·•„.„•·¨·•„.„•·¨·•„.„•·¨·•„.„•·¨~
¨·•„.„•·¨·•„.„•·¨Wïsdøm~ïs~Wïsdøm~Äš~Kñøwlèdgè~ïs~Kñøwlèdg訷•„.„•·¨·•„.„•·¨
(¯`•._)Mëmbër×Ïñ×Wrî†êrš×Õƒ×Rûñë§cåpë(¯`•._)
~ ¨·•„.„•¨·•„.„•¨·•„.„•¨·•„.„•·¨·•„.„•·¨Ì~Màçøw~Møø¨·•„.„•·¨·•„.„•·¨·•„.„•·¨·•„.„•·¨·•„.„•·¨~
¨·•„.„•·¨·•„.„•·¨Wïsdøm~ïs~Wïsdøm~Äš~Kñøwlèdgè~ïs~Kñøwlèdg訷•„.„•·¨·•„.„•·¨
02-Jun-2008 02:14:44 - Last edited on 02-Jun-2008 02:15:42 by [#86SU1V10B]
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