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A Less Likely Adventure
Quick find code: 49-50-951-65586183
Series 2: A Less Likely Adventure
Book 1: What... happened...?
Chapter 1: Zul-AnDRAMA
In Real Life, Jess wakes up, and her first instinct: Play RuneScape.
Jess logs on, but her RS3 character, for some reason, is in Zul-Andra, a place only found in OSRS.
Jess: Weird, I don't remember logging off in Mort'ton. Was I hacked?
Read above dingus.
Jess: Oh yeah. *looks up* Did I log on in OSRS by accident?
READ...
Jess: *looks above again* wtf...
Exactly.
Jess: What happened? *looks to her right to see a gathering of Zul-Andra villagers, consisting of an ogre, two Tyras guards, gnomes, some humans, and an elf*
High Priestess Zul-Harcinqa: Our sacrifice for the great Zulrah is... Sacrifice! Seriously? Got a better name than that like Zul-Jarroh or... ok.
Jess: You can't sacrifice him!
The villagers gasp.
High Priestess: And why no- wait, you look different from our people... meh. And why not?
Jess: He's a young boy!
High Priestess: We need a suitable sacrifice for Zulrah. Got any better options?
Jess: I'll talk to this Zul*ah person and have him stop taking sacrifices!
All the villagers laugh.
Jess: Fine, I volunteer as tri- uh, sacrifice!
The vollagers gasp again, but just go "meh, whatever."
High Priestess: Very well then. This outsider, eh... "Pubahwhatthe", will be our sacrifice!
Sacrifice: Awwwh, I wanted to be it!
High Priestess: Maybe next time.
Jess: You WANTED to be a sacrifice?
Sacrifice: Yeah!
Jess: ...You, uh... you ok there, bud?
Sacrifice: I want to grow up to die for a higher power!
Jess: *silence for a minute* Ok, I'll take that as a no, ummm, so where is Zulrah?
Priestess Zul-Gwenwynig: I'll row you over to the great Zulrah.
Jess: *sees her small clothes* Whoa, you LIKE wearing that?
Priestess: They were the only ones and they were gnome sized. Wanna go or what?
Jess: Sure.
Priestess: Are you suuuure?
Jess: Yes...
Priestess: Are you suuuuuuuuure?
Jess: Yes!
Priestess: Are yo-
Jess: SAY "SURE" ONE MORE TIME I DARE YOU!!@!
Priestess: Ok...
Chapter End. Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm in Pompeii, I'm lost.
Book 1: What... happened...?
Chapter 1: Zul-AnDRAMA
In Real Life, Jess wakes up, and her first instinct: Play RuneScape.
Jess logs on, but her RS3 character, for some reason, is in Zul-Andra, a place only found in OSRS.
Jess: Weird, I don't remember logging off in Mort'ton. Was I hacked?
Read above dingus.
Jess: Oh yeah. *looks up* Did I log on in OSRS by accident?
READ...
Jess: *looks above again* wtf...
Exactly.
Jess: What happened? *looks to her right to see a gathering of Zul-Andra villagers, consisting of an ogre, two Tyras guards, gnomes, some humans, and an elf*
High Priestess Zul-Harcinqa: Our sacrifice for the great Zulrah is... Sacrifice! Seriously? Got a better name than that like Zul-Jarroh or... ok.
Jess: You can't sacrifice him!
The villagers gasp.
High Priestess: And why no- wait, you look different from our people... meh. And why not?
Jess: He's a young boy!
High Priestess: We need a suitable sacrifice for Zulrah. Got any better options?
Jess: I'll talk to this Zul*ah person and have him stop taking sacrifices!
All the villagers laugh.
Jess: Fine, I volunteer as tri- uh, sacrifice!
The vollagers gasp again, but just go "meh, whatever."
High Priestess: Very well then. This outsider, eh... "Pubahwhatthe", will be our sacrifice!
Sacrifice: Awwwh, I wanted to be it!
High Priestess: Maybe next time.
Jess: You WANTED to be a sacrifice?
Sacrifice: Yeah!
Jess: ...You, uh... you ok there, bud?
Sacrifice: I want to grow up to die for a higher power!
Jess: *silence for a minute* Ok, I'll take that as a no, ummm, so where is Zulrah?
Priestess Zul-Gwenwynig: I'll row you over to the great Zulrah.
Jess: *sees her small clothes* Whoa, you LIKE wearing that?
Priestess: They were the only ones and they were gnome sized. Wanna go or what?
Jess: Sure.
Priestess: Are you suuuure?
Jess: Yes...
Priestess: Are you suuuuuuuuure?
Jess: Yes!
Priestess: Are yo-
Jess: SAY "SURE" ONE MORE TIME I DARE YOU!!@!
Priestess: Ok...
Chapter End. Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm in Pompeii, I'm lost.
08-Mar-2015 22:15:25
Chapter 5: Regrouping pt 1: Owie
At Burthorpe, or the two Burthorpes that are all fractured after the colliding...
Jess, Zulrah, John, Nat, Mel, and Gurrath all arrive.
Zulrah: Oh, who is that handsome devil of a head?
Gurrath: Oh great I'm paired up with a snake goddess. Yup, thanks writer! Couldn't get any better!
John: ...So, Nat, how you liking RS3?
Nat: The graphics are kinda cool, just too complex and not really in my taste.
Jess: *sees Mel is looking starry-eyed* Oooh, Mel you in love?
Mel: Ah, no, just someone I really wanna friggin kill.
Jess: Ah, that explains it better.
John: Wait a second... where's Noob? ...AND WHERE'S AVA!?!?
Nat: Who's... "Noob"?
Jess: His name is "Imsoprobro" and a member of our clan. I messaged everyone to come here and discuss what's happening with the game, but apparently he's not here.
John: AND, being that Ava is an elder god now, it could probably fix all this.
Mel: Gonna kill him for this...
*urrath: CAN SOMEONE GET THIS SNAKE OFF ME!?!?
Zulrah: *Wrapped around Gurrath (well his head at least, he's just a head now so, yeah.)* Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
Back at Lumbridge...
The gang arrives at Lumbridge and doesn't see Noob anywhe- oh there he is, crying 'bout something.
Mel: There you are, get over here!
Noob: Mel, look! *crying*
Mel: Oh my gosh if you need help getting unstuck from the middle of a sword I swe- *sees what Noob is crying over* Oh my, AVA! *runs over*
Ava's limbs and other debris are scattered across the Lumbridge courtyard, and only his head is able to be spoken to.
Ava: Oooooowww...
Jess: Ava, are you okay!?!?
Ava: I'm an elder god, so I can't, eurgh, die. But I'm broken up... ***oww...
Jess: I think I can fix this! *runs to bank, grabs pure essence, runs back, makes limbs out of the essence, attaches them to Ava, then binds the newly functional limbs* There!
Ava: Uh, thanks Jess, but there's one problem... I look silly.
Pfft, Ava's just a head, and he has little arms and legs!
Ava: SHUT UP!
To Be cont. Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm in Pompeii, I'm lost.
At Burthorpe, or the two Burthorpes that are all fractured after the colliding...
Jess, Zulrah, John, Nat, Mel, and Gurrath all arrive.
Zulrah: Oh, who is that handsome devil of a head?
Gurrath: Oh great I'm paired up with a snake goddess. Yup, thanks writer! Couldn't get any better!
John: ...So, Nat, how you liking RS3?
Nat: The graphics are kinda cool, just too complex and not really in my taste.
Jess: *sees Mel is looking starry-eyed* Oooh, Mel you in love?
Mel: Ah, no, just someone I really wanna friggin kill.
Jess: Ah, that explains it better.
John: Wait a second... where's Noob? ...AND WHERE'S AVA!?!?
Nat: Who's... "Noob"?
Jess: His name is "Imsoprobro" and a member of our clan. I messaged everyone to come here and discuss what's happening with the game, but apparently he's not here.
John: AND, being that Ava is an elder god now, it could probably fix all this.
Mel: Gonna kill him for this...
*urrath: CAN SOMEONE GET THIS SNAKE OFF ME!?!?
Zulrah: *Wrapped around Gurrath (well his head at least, he's just a head now so, yeah.)* Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
Back at Lumbridge...
The gang arrives at Lumbridge and doesn't see Noob anywhe- oh there he is, crying 'bout something.
Mel: There you are, get over here!
Noob: Mel, look! *crying*
Mel: Oh my gosh if you need help getting unstuck from the middle of a sword I swe- *sees what Noob is crying over* Oh my, AVA! *runs over*
Ava's limbs and other debris are scattered across the Lumbridge courtyard, and only his head is able to be spoken to.
Ava: Oooooowww...
Jess: Ava, are you okay!?!?
Ava: I'm an elder god, so I can't, eurgh, die. But I'm broken up... ***oww...
Jess: I think I can fix this! *runs to bank, grabs pure essence, runs back, makes limbs out of the essence, attaches them to Ava, then binds the newly functional limbs* There!
Ava: Uh, thanks Jess, but there's one problem... I look silly.
Pfft, Ava's just a head, and he has little arms and legs!
Ava: SHUT UP!
To Be cont. Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm in Pompeii, I'm lost.
15-Mar-2015 21:53:20
Chapter 5: Regrouping pt 2: Berserk
Jess: What happened exactly, Ava?
Ava: Well, I was floating by and this guy thought itd be funny to shoot a cannon at me from the Lumbridge Castle. Those things are unusable! How did he use one!?!?
John: What'd he look like?
Ava: He was making these clever quips, then said "Sniped, bruv!" when he shot me!
John: Not talking about commonly used phrases, what did he look like?
Ava: He had an obby maul and-
Mel and Nat: Zerker300200!
Jess: You know hi- wait, you BOTH know him!?!?
Mel: He's that new rival I've been dreaming of killing!
Jess: Dreaming of...
Mel: Yes, dreaming of killing. That's what I said. Wait, Nat, how do YOU know him?
Nat: We're in the same clan chat most of the time.
Jess: Most of the time...?
John: Oh I think you're talking about what we call a "Friends Chat" in RS3.
Nat: Oh yeah, THAT'S what you call it!
Mel: Wel*, I'm gonna go after him now that I have a proper excuse to kill him.
Nat: Great...
In the Wilderness...
Mel arrives.
Mel: ZERKER!!!@@!@!!!
Zer arrives.
Zer: Sup.
Mel: Taste vengeance for killing my friend!
Zer: Alrighty, but I have one question: what good would vengeance do?
Mel: Gives me an excuse to fight you again.
Zer: And your name is...?
Mel: Melliemurder? For one you can just click on me to find out my name AND you met me earlier!
Zer: Oh, it's you! Hah, can't keep track of my rivals!
Mel: Remember that weird sync'd pm?
Zer: ...Okay it's easier to remember you now.
Mel: Now to kill you!
Zer: Not so fast, I happened to kill a humongous clan avatar in Lum-
Mel: Elder gods can't die.
Zer: That machine was an elder god? Wait, what's an elder god? ...Never mind. He-
Mel: It, avatars don't have genders.
Zer: Whatever. IT... happened to drop a little orb thingy, which I decided to take. And it just so happened to have memories of you and some of your friends, and not only that, a recent message to arrive in Burthorpe to meet to discuss the world falling apart. I want in.
To Be Continued... Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm in Pompeii, I'm lost.
Jess: What happened exactly, Ava?
Ava: Well, I was floating by and this guy thought itd be funny to shoot a cannon at me from the Lumbridge Castle. Those things are unusable! How did he use one!?!?
John: What'd he look like?
Ava: He was making these clever quips, then said "Sniped, bruv!" when he shot me!
John: Not talking about commonly used phrases, what did he look like?
Ava: He had an obby maul and-
Mel and Nat: Zerker300200!
Jess: You know hi- wait, you BOTH know him!?!?
Mel: He's that new rival I've been dreaming of killing!
Jess: Dreaming of...
Mel: Yes, dreaming of killing. That's what I said. Wait, Nat, how do YOU know him?
Nat: We're in the same clan chat most of the time.
Jess: Most of the time...?
John: Oh I think you're talking about what we call a "Friends Chat" in RS3.
Nat: Oh yeah, THAT'S what you call it!
Mel: Wel*, I'm gonna go after him now that I have a proper excuse to kill him.
Nat: Great...
In the Wilderness...
Mel arrives.
Mel: ZERKER!!!@@!@!!!
Zer arrives.
Zer: Sup.
Mel: Taste vengeance for killing my friend!
Zer: Alrighty, but I have one question: what good would vengeance do?
Mel: Gives me an excuse to fight you again.
Zer: And your name is...?
Mel: Melliemurder? For one you can just click on me to find out my name AND you met me earlier!
Zer: Oh, it's you! Hah, can't keep track of my rivals!
Mel: Remember that weird sync'd pm?
Zer: ...Okay it's easier to remember you now.
Mel: Now to kill you!
Zer: Not so fast, I happened to kill a humongous clan avatar in Lum-
Mel: Elder gods can't die.
Zer: That machine was an elder god? Wait, what's an elder god? ...Never mind. He-
Mel: It, avatars don't have genders.
Zer: Whatever. IT... happened to drop a little orb thingy, which I decided to take. And it just so happened to have memories of you and some of your friends, and not only that, a recent message to arrive in Burthorpe to meet to discuss the world falling apart. I want in.
To Be Continued... Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm in Pompeii, I'm lost.
19-Mar-2015 00:44:45
Chapter 5: Regrouping pt 3: The Deal
Mel: What makes you think I'll let you join us?
Zer: I could be a valuable edition to your team. I've noticed that you're more precise and stealthy with your kills; I prefer a more up-front approach. Need to hold a bunch of guys off or create a distraction? I'm the man.
Mel: I can be up front. I've killed the entire zombie army in Defender of Varrock in minutes.
Zer: Buuut you haven't prevented the attack in the first place, which is what I did.
Mel: Ya haven't soloed Vorago either.
Zer: Killed him before he shot me into the pit.
Mel: Ha! I knew you were lying! OSRS players can't fight Vorago because he's an RS3 boss!
Zer: *shows Maul of Omens*
Mel: How did you- oh yeah, OSRS and RS3 collided, giving you the chance to fight Vorago, right...
Zer: Certainly I'll be more useful than that noob of yours. "Noob", right?
Mel: Aw c'mon he gives comedic relief to us and the story
Zer: Does he REALLY? I don't think people have found him very funny myself.
Mel: It's just the knowledge of how pathetic he is gives me a chuckle
Zer: ...Nah don't see it.
Mel: C'mon... Ok I'll let you in IF you take back that thing you said about Noob. That cool?
Zer: E*, why do I have to take it back?
Mel: Don't YOU have a
punching
sorry, KILLING bag every time you get mad?
Zer: Whoa there, I didn't know he was THAT important to you! Okay I'll take it back!
Mel: Yes!
Zer: Stop the emojis...
Mel: Sorry
Zer: !!!
Mel: Ok I'll stop!
Back at Lumbridge...
Mel returns with Zer.
Noob: Oh good, you're back- with HIM!?!?... Ah, I see, you're getting him to apologize for killing Ava!
Ava: I'm not dead...
Mel: Nah, he's part of our group now.
Noob: WHAT?!?@!?!?
Zer: But thanks for reminding me! I apologize, O mighty Elder God!
Ava: Oh, would you quit it, Zer? If there's one thing I hate the most it's when people grovel...
John: DoC and Monty Python anyone?
Zer: *kills Noob.* Felt good!
Chapter end Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm in Pompeii, I'm lost.
Mel: What makes you think I'll let you join us?
Zer: I could be a valuable edition to your team. I've noticed that you're more precise and stealthy with your kills; I prefer a more up-front approach. Need to hold a bunch of guys off or create a distraction? I'm the man.
Mel: I can be up front. I've killed the entire zombie army in Defender of Varrock in minutes.
Zer: Buuut you haven't prevented the attack in the first place, which is what I did.
Mel: Ya haven't soloed Vorago either.
Zer: Killed him before he shot me into the pit.
Mel: Ha! I knew you were lying! OSRS players can't fight Vorago because he's an RS3 boss!
Zer: *shows Maul of Omens*
Mel: How did you- oh yeah, OSRS and RS3 collided, giving you the chance to fight Vorago, right...
Zer: Certainly I'll be more useful than that noob of yours. "Noob", right?
Mel: Aw c'mon he gives comedic relief to us and the story
Zer: Does he REALLY? I don't think people have found him very funny myself.
Mel: It's just the knowledge of how pathetic he is gives me a chuckle
Zer: ...Nah don't see it.
Mel: C'mon... Ok I'll let you in IF you take back that thing you said about Noob. That cool?
Zer: E*, why do I have to take it back?
Mel: Don't YOU have a
Zer: Whoa there, I didn't know he was THAT important to you! Okay I'll take it back!
Mel: Yes!
Zer: Stop the emojis...
Mel: Sorry
Zer: !!!
Mel: Ok I'll stop!
Back at Lumbridge...
Mel returns with Zer.
Noob: Oh good, you're back- with HIM!?!?... Ah, I see, you're getting him to apologize for killing Ava!
Ava: I'm not dead...
Mel: Nah, he's part of our group now.
Noob: WHAT?!?@!?!?
Zer: But thanks for reminding me! I apologize, O mighty Elder God!
Ava: Oh, would you quit it, Zer? If there's one thing I hate the most it's when people grovel...
John: DoC and Monty Python anyone?
Zer: *kills Noob.* Felt good!
Chapter end Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm in Pompeii, I'm lost.
25-Mar-2015 23:41:20
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