Thanks for taking the time to reply to my feedback in detail. I can understand how RuneScape fits very well with your story, and in fact your story is written much better than the official lore, but the initial point I am trying to make is that it's ok to go beyond what RS decrees. Like, let's say the demons changed their mind and killed the mages and their leader, then that'd be an open rebellion against what is created by JAGEX. In this means, there is creation, not too much recreation.
I apologize for nit picking, but whenever I make a critique, I often feel that I did not do it fully. I am competitive with myself, so often I try to get, quite literally, almost everything to comment on just for the sake of not feeling inadequate after completion. Guess I should relax.
To the best of my knowledge, twitching occurs when the nervous system or brain is damaged. So, if you broke your spine, and your body produced its natural painkiller, later on you would feel the pain and start twitching. The ribs, guts, and other inner organs do not directly connect to the nervous system, so, in my opinion, it would not cause twitching. It could make one thrash about, of course.
''(This is before he's a God, by the way. In fact, no Gods are even in the story :V)''
Lol, woops...
''The line about Torva gasping for air is sort of to elude he wasn't just lying down the entire time he was dreaming. He was walking.''
Ah, I would never have imagined that.
Thanks for that, Level. I will admit the review was really long, but, like I mentioned above, I feel less about myself when my feedback doesn't feel whole or complete. I should have known better than that since this is Ghon's debut. And yes, I did assume Ghon was a person who wanted to be an author for life, and yes it was wrong of my to assume so. And I just read he is working on a novel; I comment in the real-time, because, well, then I can be proven wrong better.
06-Apr-2013 01:33:36