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Crusaders of Zaros
Quick find code: 49-50-900-59985068
This isn't bad at all. A couple formatting things you could do a bit better, but the content's solid. Pretty intriguing first few sentences. Great hook.
Consider looking up what a comma splice is, if you're looking for a way to improve. Also, I would recommend writing any numbers that are less than ten in their full word form, rather than numeric. So in your first post, '2nd' should be 'second'. For small numbers it's much cleaner.
I found myself entertained. Nicely done.
Oh, and kudos on the hood.
Consider looking up what a comma splice is, if you're looking for a way to improve. Also, I would recommend writing any numbers that are less than ten in their full word form, rather than numeric. So in your first post, '2nd' should be 'second'. For small numbers it's much cleaner.
I found myself entertained. Nicely done.
Oh, and kudos on the hood.
12-May-2011 08:21:48 - Last edited on 12-May-2011 08:22:47 by Chuk
bump, people need to read this story. ive always been a fan of this story and i dont think anything is gonna change my mind but please dont stop making it and forget.
Although people may behold the same object, ever will they see different things. There is no right or wrong to it, for it is a question of
perspective
.
01-Jul-2011 07:52:15 - Last edited on 01-Jul-2011 07:52:28 by Otikull
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