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NotFishing

NotFishing

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She told the guards that she was an orphan in need of shelter.

Could you at least write dialogue so I can control the guards and have them respond to it?

Because right now, I'm assuming you just said: "I am an orphan. I need shelter." And that isn't going to persuade them, because I'm pretty sure most orphans who just lost their parents don't just go and announce that they are orphans and immediately ask for a place to stay without any further explanation. Beneath the gold, the Bitter Steel.

18-Jan-2017 02:45:02 - Last edited on 18-Jan-2017 02:48:56 by NotFishing

NotFishing

NotFishing

Posts: 16,946 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Original message details are unavailable.
She said to the guards,"Sirs, I an orphan. I need a shelter for the night. I just lost my parents when we where traveling to trade."

Did she put any emotion behind the words? Remember, she's acting like she just lost her parents. A normal kid is going to be tearing up, barely able to get the words out. Beneath the gold, the Bitter Steel.

18-Jan-2017 02:56:41 - Last edited on 18-Jan-2017 02:59:35 by NotFishing

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