forums.rs

Forums

† The Spite of the People †

Quick find code: 49-50-852-61289212

of 27
[#L6BVCL43M]

[#L6BVCL43M]

Posts: 4,026 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Chapter Six: Back to the Origin

Athos dashed through the forest, stepping inbetween and around trees as quietly as possible to avoid his chasers. Sweat was dripping from his brow, and dirt covered his face from being out of the city for over two days.

"How do they know where I'm going?" Athos thought to himself. "Is it really that obvious?"

An arrow whizzed by his ear almost immediately after, sinking its head into a tree in front of him. His eyes widened in shock and he ran to the left in an attempt to shake off his pursuers.

Seeing a large tree a few meters away, he sprinted straight towards it, swiftly placing one foot after the other to run up the trunk. Just before his feet start to slip, he jumped from against the trunk and reached out for a thick branch just above his head. He quickly pulled himself up and, in one fluid motion, he swung his feet to the branch and leapt across towards another tree limb.

Athos was only just able to pull himself up and slide against the bark of the tree in time to keep out of detection by the two Varrock trackers below.

He stifled his trembling breath, begging silently for Saradomin to keep the two men below from glancing up. On the end of the branch he stood on, the leaves shook slightly, however, and one leaf even snapped loose, floating down casually like a feather to the heads of the guards underneath. One jumped a little when he saw the leaf on his shoulder, causing him to look up.

But in the same instant, his partner tracker smashed into the ground from the force of Athos' entire body, which had resulted in a last-ditch effort jump to ambush the pair.

22-Aug-2010 04:56:37 - Last edited on 22-Aug-2010 04:57:11 by [#L6BVCL43M]

[#L6BVCL43M]

[#L6BVCL43M]

Posts: 4,026 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
The tracker wasted absolutely no time being astonished at the crash and collapse of his partner; his hand was on his sheathed sword's hilt immediately. But before he could pull it out, though, Athos turned with reckless speed and unleashed a jaw-shattering punch to his face. In the same movement, his sword was also stolen from him by Atho*, who quickly spun back around and slashed it down upon the fallen partner. The brute force of his attack with the thick-bladed sword sliced open the man's guts, spilling out blood and his intestines onto the grass. The tracker roared in pain, and the other tripped over his loose footing and fell backwards.

With the pair temporarily halted, Athos dashed off southward. He didn't want to kill the two trackers, and he regretted cutting open the man's abdomen, but it couldn't have been helped.

With a gulp and a hard look to the horizon beyond the trees of the forest, Athos made his way to Port Sarim and the great ocean beyond it.

22-Aug-2010 04:56:46 - Last edited on 06-Feb-2011 05:05:31 by [#L6BVCL43M]

Vrangr Wayne

Vrangr Wayne

Posts: 6,414 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
a minor point, irrelevant but just as i know some stuff about strategies(was once head tactician in a clan and on a roleplay thing on a different game)

if you where hunting/tracking a known and skilled guard wouldn't it be wise to send an few armed escorts with your trackers?

trackers are usually around for only tracking and have little fighting skill(as they lead armed men to whatever they are tracking, or scouts whose purpose is to get in and out again)

it's fine though, just my strategic side talking.

~Wane~

23-Aug-2010 23:00:18 - Last edited on 23-Aug-2010 23:02:22 by Vrangr Wayne

Looksavebee

Looksavebee

Posts: 334 Silver Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
I've finally caught up again. I got lazy for a while there D=

I think you're moving a little too fast and starting to cover too many different angles. Maybe limit yourself, or write more than just one chapter on a certain group. I'm getting this feeling of jumping around right now, if that makes sense.

23-Aug-2010 23:43:15

[#L6BVCL43M]

[#L6BVCL43M]

Posts: 4,026 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Wawa: That's a very good point. I considered adding familiars (at least, that's what I think they're called in Summoning) but I wanted to keep this confrontation very short since we just finished a major battle scene.

Also, maybe I can make up an excuse such as the King didn't really want to stop or kill Athos, but still appear as if he was doing his duty by sending out trackers. I suppose he would also discover where Athos' loyalties lay by doing this. If Athos had killed them, he would be an obvious threat. However, he didn't kill them, so he must not have a grudge against Varrock. ;)



Lament: Sorry. With this story, I'm running it at a fast pace very much intentionally. For one, I want it to read like a movie, as in leaving out pointless "filler" or expanding on excess detail, as I've noticed in several other stories 'round here.

Things will get slower, but what you just read was more of a "minor ******" of sorts. I want there to be a sense of confusion and shock, I just hope that that's what you're feeling and not something different.

Also, I'm trying to keep my story as short as possible. It's already at 50-some posts and I'd say it's about 40% or so finished. I don't want it excessively long in the end, but I have a lot to cover. :P

24-Aug-2010 02:22:07

Quick find code: 49-50-852-61289212 Back to Top