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An Ode to F2P Updates
Quick find code: 49-50-842-59462136
Heh, this thread is oooold. my apologies for misinterpreting this thread so badly back then.
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It's all good Cozmic, and thanks Archaic Lord, we'll have to see about the veteran's capes.
Looking to regain my interest in RS
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It's all good Cozmic, and thanks Archaic Lord, we'll have to see about the veteran's capes.
13-Jun-2011 06:35:58
This reminds me of a bunch of mock haikus I wrote about the "doomed story forums", in that both were misinterpreted.
Critique:
A few rhymes are a little stretched. "For access to many member contents", for instance, doesn't rhyme with "They’ll make their outrageous demands,"
What I would strongly recommend is to remove all the abbreviations. They kind of confuse the rhythm.
I suggest you read it aloud (if you haven't already). If the rhythm doesn't feel stretched, leave it be. If it does, look for better rhymes.
"Make skillcapes F2P is what they say,
Jagex refusing that is never okay,"
As an example, you seem to have gone a bit too far to get a rhyme there.
Naes poem bro!
Critique:
A few rhymes are a little stretched. "For access to many member contents", for instance, doesn't rhyme with "They’ll make their outrageous demands,"
What I would strongly recommend is to remove all the abbreviations. They kind of confuse the rhythm.
I suggest you read it aloud (if you haven't already). If the rhythm doesn't feel stretched, leave it be. If it does, look for better rhymes.
"Make skillcapes F2P is what they say,
Jagex refusing that is never okay,"
As an example, you seem to have gone a bit too far to get a rhyme there.
Naes poem bro!
22-Aug-2011 21:11:01
This reminds me of a bunch of mock haikus I wrote about the "doomed story forums", in that both were misinterpreted.
Critique:
A few rhymes are a little stretched. "For access to many member contents", for instance, doesn't rhyme with "They’ll make their outrageous demands,"
What I would strongly recommend is to remove all the abbreviations. They kind of confuse the rhythm.
I suggest you read it aloud (if you haven't already). If the rhythm doesn't feel stretched, leave it be. If it does, look for better rhymes.
"Make skillcapes F2P is what they say,
Jagex refusing that is never okay,"
As an example, you seem to have gone a bit too far to get a rhyme there.
Naes poem bro!
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That's for that bit of critique, I'll definitely try to rework it to rhyme better!
Looking to regain my interest in RS
Critique:
A few rhymes are a little stretched. "For access to many member contents", for instance, doesn't rhyme with "They’ll make their outrageous demands,"
What I would strongly recommend is to remove all the abbreviations. They kind of confuse the rhythm.
I suggest you read it aloud (if you haven't already). If the rhythm doesn't feel stretched, leave it be. If it does, look for better rhymes.
"Make skillcapes F2P is what they say,
Jagex refusing that is never okay,"
As an example, you seem to have gone a bit too far to get a rhyme there.
Naes poem bro!
-------
That's for that bit of critique, I'll definitely try to rework it to rhyme better!
29-Aug-2011 02:43:06
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