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A Lone Boy's Journey

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Lost King
Aug Member 2004

Lost King

Posts: 1,925 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
"I'll have to make sure not to forget to put more runes on my boots unless I want to stub all of my toes." Tash drew up his right foot to where he could reach it with one of his hands while keeping the other two appendages stuck to the wall to keep him from falling and placed more runes onto the toe of his boot. Repeating the process of kicking a foothold into the wall he started to get into a steady pace. The hole appeared to be much smaller as he could start to make out some sort of ground only a little ways down. He made sure not to get too happy and kept his calm plunge going slow. He was astounded when he stepped down from his self-made ladder that he had managed to not slip while making it but soon recalled his initial mission. Now standing in the middle of a corridor the question arose, which way? "Well if the fire came from the right it would only make sense to head that way really," spoke Tash into the darkness. "I must say that it's a lot lighter looking at it from down here rather than on the surface. Seems kind of odd." Placing no more thought into the matter he trudged off down the path to his right.

06-Mar-2008 03:22:47

Lost King
Aug Member 2004

Lost King

Posts: 1,925 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
The minutes passed slowly as the tunnel became darker, the path became steeper, yet the temperature became hotter. Tash could not make out anything in front of him and had to keep his hands against the walls to refrain from walking into them. He had been in a number of caves before and mostly all of them dropped in temperature as he progressed downward but this one was different from all the rest. As the trek pressed onward he began to wonder whether or not he had missed a tunnel branching off from this one, or maybe the other tunnel was located through a hole in the ceiling that he had failed to see in the blackness. His concentration on the topic was broken as a rock came in the way of his foot and caused him to stumble forwards and collapse face down on the stony floor. His trip to the ground had forced something new to come to his mind as he lay motionless on the rock. It had a unique texture to it that he could not have caught from just walking on it. It was like a dust or sand-like feeling and was increasingly warm on his bare skin.
"Is the floor coated in soot?" Tash's voice echoed into the darkness. He pushed himself off the ground and brushed off his shirt and face. Surely enough ashy dirt was all over his outfit and cheek. "I guess that would explain the feeling of heat. Whatever used to be down here was all burnt to ash, and it would seem like it keeps getting burned daily, which could also explain the random fire blast I saw back at the entrance. This guy must have a thing for keeping things warm, and yet he still chooses to live in a hole." He placed another foot forward and froze; his eyes widened and his pupils shrunk.

06-Mar-2008 03:25:17

[#L6BVCL43M]

[#L6BVCL43M]

Posts: 4,026 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
That would be an odd plot twist. :P Anyway, I finally got around to reading this as school is out today and I had a bit of free time. Sorry it took so long, but I'm glad I've finally gotten to it. You have an amazing talent for writing, one of the best I've seen in the forums, and I've truely enjoyed reading this. The story flows very well, but a few places were maybe too detailed, though not bad enough to worry. Also, interesting variety of characters, even though there's only been about four main characters so far.
Besides that, maybe let the readers clearly know somewhere that the main character chose the name Tash as his own on that day, though it might be hard unless you feel like editing posts. I'm looking forward to adds, but I've been incredibly inactive lately so I can only try to stay caught up.
:)

06-Mar-2008 21:28:59

Lost King
Aug Member 2004

Lost King

Posts: 1,925 Mithril Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
I have a good portion of the story plotted out around this area. Starting off with him going on a mission to show what he's been up to over the past couple of years as well as how his magic talent has grown. After his first mission he'll go into a description as to how he's done all the things he has over the years.
Glad you liked it too =P

07-Mar-2008 02:22:42 - Last edited on 07-Mar-2008 02:22:56 by Lost King

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