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-=± Outlander ±=-
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14-Mar-2008 22:06:04
Whew! Just finished it
. I read your shorts on your other thread yesterday, and then found out about this one
.
Well, so much to say. But I still don't have as much as those two large comments you got around May ... I don't have any hugely in-depth ones
.
Everything I want to say has basically already been mentioned, lol. I too enjoyed the ending the most. The beginning was a little slow for me at first ... But the latter of the story was engrossing
.
Though I'm not much of a Romance-story guy, so my feedback won't be as knowledgeable. But it was still great!
Back to the ending, I don't usually like happy endings
. However, some of the sadder endings I've seen have been a little clichéd. I feel you did it right. I'm always aiming for something never been done before, neither happy nor sad. I want the endings to be the best part of my stories.
Another thing is stating what the reader already knows. You avoided that, and left the reader to conclude the assumptions easily. Instead of stating the obvious
.
I've never really posted on the Story Forums (In fact, this is my 2nd post ever on this forum
). And I'm just another writer who plans to write books for a career in the future as well, lol. Your excellent short stories as well as a short-story contest entry with a VERY annoying and low word limit — 350 words
— have gotten me into short stories, and I'm working on my own short stories thread :p.
Very good!
. I read your shorts on your other thread yesterday, and then found out about this one
.
Well, so much to say. But I still don't have as much as those two large comments you got around May ... I don't have any hugely in-depth ones
.
Everything I want to say has basically already been mentioned, lol. I too enjoyed the ending the most. The beginning was a little slow for me at first ... But the latter of the story was engrossing
.
Though I'm not much of a Romance-story guy, so my feedback won't be as knowledgeable. But it was still great!
Back to the ending, I don't usually like happy endings
. However, some of the sadder endings I've seen have been a little clichéd. I feel you did it right. I'm always aiming for something never been done before, neither happy nor sad. I want the endings to be the best part of my stories.
Another thing is stating what the reader already knows. You avoided that, and left the reader to conclude the assumptions easily. Instead of stating the obvious
.
I've never really posted on the Story Forums (In fact, this is my 2nd post ever on this forum
). And I'm just another writer who plans to write books for a career in the future as well, lol. Your excellent short stories as well as a short-story contest entry with a VERY annoying and low word limit — 350 words
— have gotten me into short stories, and I'm working on my own short stories thread :p.
Very good!
17-Mar-2008 01:09:28
Wow thanks for the comments Adiea and Dockwa
It's been a while since I've had a comment that length and I really appreciate your words. My aim was exactly as you had mentioned - for the ending to come as a surprise without being cliched. It's not an easy task
Good luck with your career goal Dock. I feel very privileged that my story was only your second post here.
It's been a while since I've had a comment that length and I really appreciate your words. My aim was exactly as you had mentioned - for the ending to come as a surprise without being cliched. It's not an easy task
Good luck with your career goal Dock. I feel very privileged that my story was only your second post here.
17-Mar-2008 17:39:00
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