*sips tea, turns page in book, glances up over rims of reading glasses*
Thor, I would suggest that you continue Bono. TOTPM isn't exactly taking off and soaring... And, I'm sorry to say, or good reason. The plot is unintelligible, the characters' lives center around an online game, and the story trails off in random directions at times.
For example, take Chapter 13. Leon is angry about being scammed, so he sets up some elaborate murder plot and attempts to murder the girl he has a crush on. May I point out that this is over an online game. While he is in the process of strangling her, wimpy Jack, who is for some reason hauling around a fire extinguisher, smashes Leon in the back of the head with it, rescuing the girl. However, he, too, is attempting to hurt this girl's reputation in some way, even though he also has a crush on her. And so the plot goes round and round, up, down, sideways, diagonal, and generally off-track. It gets rather confusing. The plot in indiscernable; sometimes it centers around the scamming clan R and sometimes it centers around the characters' RuneScape-centered lives.
Really, I do recommend that you continue with Bono, because your other story, and I apologize for being so blunt, is really quite tedious and plotless.
*sips tea, goes back to reading book*
-------------------------------------------------
im not sure why, but i started laughing when i read that. i would agree in parts, but disagree in others. you say the story revolves around people whos lives revolve around runescape. but technically, isnt it the same for BTNNIR? it is a good story, while a little... sprawled at times, and thor you really should continue it. but groovy does raise an interesting point. WTF is Jack doing with a FIRE EXTINGUISHER?!
11-Nov-2009 22:08:32
Don't worry, just don't do it again.
