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Jack the zaro's war magican

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coupled with a goldtan, she looked to be a young goddess, too perfect to be even a demi god, jack wondered how someone so beautiful could exist in the world?, when everyone else in comparison were like dim light blubs in the night, but she was like the sun at mid day, shinning bright with radiance, that possibly would make the sun envy her if it could think and talk.
jack noticed his heart was beating very fast, he was sweating, his clothes felt too warm, his palms were wet, he was very nervous in her presence.
"is something wrong?" she said in her beautiful and seductive voice
"no, I'm fine, i just need some rest." jack replied oddly with his head facing the floor
"you saved me, you can sleep here for the night."
"thanks"
"I'm going to bed now, see you in the mourning" she said
"okay."
jack grabbed his small leather bag and used it as a make shift pillow, and closed his eyes, he felt very excited for tomorrow he wasn't quite sure why, it was a odd feeling for jack.
That night jack dreamed of Feona and him holding hands under the stars, while sitting on the edge of a major cliff with legs dangling off, it was cold night but it was a pleasant cool that kept your mind cool and you from sweating, they were both looking at the forestry below, which had lots of mist rising from the canopy, and a lower level of mist swirling below, the wind was slowly stirring the mist around the valley. Occasionally a light breeze would come by, carrying with it some of the refreshing cool mist. The moon was in the middle of the sky and was a sharp crescent. The sky was nearly cloudless, except for a few here and there. the stars were bizarrely dim. This is when jack felt a feeling of...
"rockadooldeadoo!!! a rooster proudly sings outside the window waking jack out of his distant dream
"it's mourning already?" he looks around, tired eyed, and confused for a second to where he was, before remembering the adventures of last night.
"oh, that's right.."

14-Jun-2012 21:06:37 - Last edited on 15-Jun-2012 23:48:29 by [#ZY9ZVLC95]

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Part 6
*exit current scene*
*enter Zaros and the Zamorak *
" Well what do you think of my work, my lord" zaro's asked
"It's good but i had hoped you would of enlisted perhaps more into this particular experiment."
Zaro's spine shivered whenever Zamorak ever spoke it always scared him, his voice was not like a normal person, it sounded like two people were talking from the same body, one voice being very deep and dark, and the other voice a intellectual clever one, also zaro's was always scared of zamorak for he knew how quickly zamorak's anger could be unleashed.
"well, my Lord, I wanted it to be balanced so that perhaps he could be thought of as a light bringer instead of a dark bringer, a deception to fool even the purest of hearts, If anything somehow goes out of hand, there is always other methods..."
"Good job zaros, this is why you are my second in command" the dark lord said with his doubled voice.
"Thank you my lord of darkness"
*exit,enter, feona and jack*
"you're gonna head for the god wars dungeon? wow..." feona said
"yeah, i have a important task to fulfill there" jack said
feona drinks some tea.
"wow...,amazing., you know." feona said with a look of contempt
"yes?" jack asked
"well ummm, I have some charms i need to get done here, which won't take very long.., and i am a good ranger.."
Jack says nothing.
"and well.., maybe i could just come to study the charms left by the creatures at the god's wars dungeon."
jack thought about it, she is so lovely, jack thought, but what if she gets in trouble and I can't help her, what will happen then?, Would i be able to live my life knowing it was my fault for letting her come that she is gone.
"yes you can come, I'll be leaving at sun down, I will meet you at the town limit, see you then." jack hoped he didn't seem too serious or boring, but left thinking of all the "cool" and impressive things he could of said and talked to her about, he thought he must of appeared very pathetic and sad to her.

14-Jun-2012 21:25:25 - Last edited on 16-Jun-2012 05:08:55 by [#ZY9ZVLC95]

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- he also thought he must of ruined his only chances to impress or charm feona, now she would only at best be friends with him he thought meekly.
Part7
feona walks to the north of town and sees jack waiting against a tree, feona suddenly feels the silly urge to smile for no reason at all, but ends up just smiling at the ground to hide her smile in case jack by chance looked up. Feona had brought louie with her, her loyal terror bird, whom was carrying most of her supplies
"heyyy" feona managed to greet jack awkwardly
"hey." jack replied mildly fearing to show how he had anticipated her return to his presence since he had left her house this mourning, he suddenly goes red faced thinking about it that moment, and ends up leaving his face looking at the ground.
"you ready to go?" jack asked
"I should lead, I grew up here and I've been to the entrance to the god wars dungeon before with my father."
"okay," Jack looks up briefly and notices she brought along a terror bird but didn't say anything because she said she knew what she was doing and also jack was a little shy.
jack followed feona, up the trail to trollheim jack looked up at the sky it was cloudy and the stars were shining bright, with the wind slighting howling in the rock crevices around.
"so do the trolls still hold land up here?"
"they've left from what i heard, they got ran out when the disaster happened'
"ahh, i see." jack responds
"it's getting to dark to see" feona says
feona pulls louie over and grabs out a torch she also grabs a tinder box.
"good thing i brought this" feona leans over flinting the flint to try to ignite the paper she placed in the torch she was liting.
"there we go.." she purr's as a light spark flings into the paper causing the paper to smoke, feona quickly starts puffing on the paper and adds a cotton shirt to it, and the whole torch suddenly lights up.
"well done" jack says for lack of a better thing to say
jack puts on his ghostly robes and unstraps his staff of zaros

16-Jun-2012 05:09:56 - Last edited on 16-Jun-2012 16:40:36 by [#ZY9ZVLC95]

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Part 7 continued
jack puts on his ghostly robes and unstraps his staff of zaros
Feona glances at him
"is something wrong?" feona asks
"no, i just thought i heard or better saw a pair of eyes up in the mountains watching us."
"there's a old lady up here, that sells boots and she is a good friend of the family, we could stay at her place, it's just around half a hour more of hiking.'
"okay" jack replied
as they ascended higher in elevation the air began to get thinner and colder, the air was dry, and when it would blow, it felt like it would cut though the clothes and small icy knives would pin ***** the torso.

They arrived shortly at the house, both awkwardly not getting up to get something at the same time for fear of being in each others way when walking.
Feona was laughing as she was talking to the old lady who owned this house, Feona had said the old lady was a old friend of the family. They were both talking and laughing while jack kept secretly watching her, from where he sat on the kitchen table, some people would consider jack a creep but he couldn't help himself he thought Feona was wildly attractive and perfect in every angle and lighting, Jack kept feeling his heart skip whenever he saw Feona smile in conversation. Jack knew he should be able to control himself better and not allow himself to stare and observe someone so personally. He absorbed Feona's every gesture and word with hungry eyes, Feona was focused on her conversation and did not look once at jack.

16-Jun-2012 16:43:24 - Last edited on 23-Jun-2012 09:15:58 by [#ZY9ZVLC95]

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part 8
Jack was feeling good now, he felt like he knew feona better now from observing her and now had a better chance at becoming her boy friend.
"jack..."a low voice called
"jack...you need to drain them..." the low voice reasoned
"no, i won't" he replied weakly to the voice in his head
Jack felt a sudden surge of depression, while past incidents ravaged his train of thought
"stop doing that you demon" jack called to the voice in his head
"doing what?" it said with a almost audible smile
"stop trying to control my emotions you demon, I'm not doing anything to Feona or the old ladie, Feona is too lovely to do something like that to."
"hahahhahahah!, whats stopped you before jack, you're nothing but the scum of the earth, that you were born from...." said the demon
"I'm not gonna agure with you demon, but this is different."
"oh then, you won't mind this" the demon said with a sneer
Jack felt like something was draining the life force out of him
"stop..., stop doing that" jack said
"I'm gonna drain your energy til your close to death then you will be forced by hungry to take there energy" the demon said
"do what you will..." jack admirably said

23-Jun-2012 08:50:37 - Last edited on 27-Jun-2012 22:53:42 by [#ZY9ZVLC95]

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(writer's note I'm gonna skip to the point where feona and jack have already traveled over trollhiem, and made it to the god wars dungeon)
*enter scene jack and feona standing outside of the god's war dungeon*
"i guess we have to go down now." jack said flatly
"when do you want to descend jack?" feona asked
"well i suppose tomorrow at day break, we might as well get a full night of rest, I don't think it'd be any good to go down now, at our current statwe just te."
"alright."
*jack promptly makes a fire, Feona gets out her blanket*
"I wonder what it looks like down there..." feona says
jack looks over at feona then see's something werid on the side of her,
"what is that" jack says
as he gets up
jack looks to the side of feona and see's a book
jack see's a really dusty book that looks to be years old he tries to pick it up but ends up picking the book with a skeletons hand still on it.
Feona jumps at the new sight of a skeleton
jack calmly removes the skeletons hand, and dusts off the book,
"what is it?" feona asks
jack tries to read the front of the tattered leather book but can find nothing, he runs his hand over it, and feels a strange imprint on the book, but can't make anything out.
"i don't know it's some old book, let me look inside" jack says
Jack see's sketchy written cursive in black ink on the first page, and flips the second page and then flips though all the pages, the cursive writing stops about half way though the book.
"hmmmma unfinished book" jack thought
Jack flips back to the first page, it reads...

27-Jun-2012 10:56:24 - Last edited on 27-Jun-2012 22:15:27 by [#ZY9ZVLC95]

Watch23221

Watch23221

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This sounds like a kid who just got a big one over his brand new ice burst spell! Gratz dude, but honestly..."it hit 70s", "My magic level was only 77" just no...
Edit: Rest of the story is looking good though, but really consider redoing the beginning; it REALLY sounds like someone who just got over excited over ancients

27-Jun-2012 20:30:47 - Last edited on 27-Jun-2012 20:34:24 by Watch23221

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jack began to read the old book
""The god wars dungeon was a dark and dreadful pace full of armies that clashed.scary was the thought of just entering such a place! let alone actually going inside!, vines draped from the top of the god wars dungeon but no one actually knew if there was a roof or if the giant vines themselves simply grew off of some unnaturally large trees. The floor was heavily misted and at times you could not see your hand in front of your face. The sounds that came from the depths of the dungeon would send shivers up one's spine. The long random screech's that sounded to come from great over grown birds, coupled every now and then with weird inhuman noises that almost sounded to be coming from the air it's self. Would be enough to send anyone into a deep pool of insanity. It was rumored if you traveled far enough into the gods dungeon you could see great beings of the gods. Beings that represented each god of the dungeon. But this was just rumored and superstition, no one had actually survived the hellish horror of the god's wars dungeon and if they did they had no properly recorded the event to the public.
Well That is all for now i shall depart into the dungeon tomorrow mourning
- hector""
Jack stared at the pages for a second
"it's a recording of a man "hector" talking about the gods wars dungeon"
"did it say anything important?.."
"just describing the horrors of the dungeon pretty much"
"well, I guess you can note down all of that your self, i perfer not to be scared before i'm about to go to sleep"
"well alright" jack said as he flip though the rest of the pages which were blank.
"oh that's curious.." jack said
"what is?" feona asked
"well it's just that the after the 1st page all the pages are blank i could of sworn this book was written for atleast 60 pages"
"well maybe you were imaging it, we've been under alot of stress lately"
"hmmm maybe..."

27-Jun-2012 22:40:57 - Last edited on 03-Jul-2012 04:37:29 by [#ZY9ZVLC95]

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Feona and jack wake up at day break
"It's finally time to descend" jack says
feona walks over to the edge of the bolder where the bolder isn't covering the giant hole.
"gosh..., it's pitch black down there., I think it's really far down." feona says
"well our ropes are around 10 meters long, I hope that can cut it" jack said
"now all we need is something to tie our ropes to" jack said as he looked around for something stable to tie there ropes.
"alright, let's tie it against that stump over there"
feona and jack both tie there ropes against the stump
"feona, your isn't tied hard enough" jack said
feona grabs the rope knot and attempts to tighten it
jack watches her attempt to tighten it for a minute then comes in to help her.
jack grabs the rope,"you gotta tie it like this", jack says as he tightens the knot
"thanks" feona said weakly, she always felt shy whenever somebody was that close to her.
"alright feona, you ready to descend?" jack asked
"yeah"
"what happened to that bird you brought with you by the way?" jack asked
"last night I told it to go back home It's a trained terror bird, now i actually have to carry my stuff now, hehe.."
Jack walks over to the giant hole..., "shoot, i can't see anything down there, it just looks like it just keeps going and going" jack says
"well it can't go down forever." feona reply's
"I'll go down first, i see a small rock platform around 60 feet down, looks like it has about some feet room"
Jack holds onto the rope while walking backwards into the Hole, He eventually ends up sideways standing up with his feet against the pit's walls, Jack looks for the platform he saw and starts slowly maneuvering towards it, he gets above the platform and starts lowering his rope.
*phoosh* jack's boots made a satisfying sound as he landed
"Its seems solid to me" jack calls up to feona
Feona starts lowering herself down.

02-Jul-2012 01:18:32 - Last edited on 03-Jul-2012 04:44:42 by [#ZY9ZVLC95]

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