~ Review ~
Grammar 19/25: Overall, this story had good grammar. However, at the start of the story, there was a lot of missing punctuation in speech, and a few commas where semi-colons could have been used. A more varied sentence structure could have been more effective.
Description 17/25: The description was very thin on the ground, especially at the beginning of the story. The reader was plunged straight into action and adventure, without a good account of the character's appearance or surroundings. This story could definitely be described more - although it did improve near the end.
Plot 21/25: Although this is a typical war story with a good against evil approach, many aspects of the plotline are quite original. The final battle appears to have twists and turns at every corner, as does the build up to it. However, the plot rushed along very quickly at the start, and the war theme isn't hugely original; but it is a gripping tale.
Characters 15/25: I didn't think that the characters were that great in this story. Their appearance wasn't described very well, nor was their personalities even with the large amounts of dialogue. The main character definitely didn't have a good enough personality.
Overall 72/100: This story is gripping and very interesting. Overall, it is very good, and I think that it is just that slight bit away from Omega rank. However, for now, I think this story is about Gold standard. Congratulations.
Grammar 19/25: Overall, this story had good grammar. However, at the start of the story, there was a lot of missing punctuation in speech, and a few commas where semi-colons could have been used. A more varied sentence structure could have been more effective.
Description 17/25: The description was very thin on the ground, especially at the beginning of the story. The reader was plunged straight into action and adventure, without a good account of the character's appearance or surroundings. This story could definitely be described more - although it did improve near the end.
Plot 21/25: Although this is a typical war story with a good against evil approach, many aspects of the plotline are quite original. The final battle appears to have twists and turns at every corner, as does the build up to it. However, the plot rushed along very quickly at the start, and the war theme isn't hugely original; but it is a gripping tale.
Characters 15/25: I didn't think that the characters were that great in this story. Their appearance wasn't described very well, nor was their personalities even with the large amounts of dialogue. The main character definitely didn't have a good enough personality.
Overall 72/100: This story is gripping and very interesting. Overall, it is very good, and I think that it is just that slight bit away from Omega rank. However, for now, I think this story is about Gold standard. Congratulations.
22-Sep-2007 19:30:55
