Forums

Hooks and Chains (RP)

Quick find code: 49-50-558-65647165

sword king

sword king

Posts: 2,716 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Yellow reptile eyes peeked around. Flesh pulsed from every direction. Hearts were beating, eyes staring, long intestines laid bare on the ground and pulsed irregularly. The Spitling sniffs again. Predator senses discern a million scents in the air. Strongest is the smell of blood, less so the scent of rot. And vaguely, the smell of life. Flesh, different from the surroundings. The creature’s head turns. Legs twitch, eyes find a direction, and the Spitling jumps. Nails to bone. A sniff, then another jump. Nails to bone.

Nobody knew where they came from. That wasn’t uncommon with wild creatures in this place, but the Spitlings were still viewed as different. Their biology seemed different. Their skin was hard, their skeleton external. Almost like insect parts assembled as a mammal. They wildly varied in size, ranging from a foot to as large as eight feet long. They also seemed quite intelligent by animal standards, seemingly recognizing ranged weapons and setting ambushes. Whenever the animals of the Flesh Forest would burst out into the rest of the world, the Spitlings live the longest. Quite impressive for an animal so tailored to the trees.

The last jump. The Spitling turns its body, claw after claw, to face its head downwards. A few drops of yellow acid drop from the teeth. The snake-eyes narrow. Far beneath, the beast lets out a growl. The creature is horrible. It’s nothing but flesh, growing on a frame barely recognizable as even animal. The thing is seven foot high. It seems to have had six limbs before but had one torn off: now it stumbles around with three legs on the legs and two on the right. A elephant-like head waves back and forth. A misshapen mouth opens and closes. Eyes too small for the massive body stick out from random places, not limited to the head; a nose is not visible. The back is covered in stumps of growth forming undeterminable extensions of the beast, and valleys in the hide where smaller animals ripped out some pieces.

07-Jul-2015 22:32:44 - Last edited on 08-Jul-2015 00:55:17 by sword king

sword king

sword king

Posts: 2,716 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
The Spitlings eat anything their acid can dissolve. They can eat the ground and the trees, as the bone provides no more resistance. But they target the more traditionally living. It is generally assumed the meat tastes better, although some have put forth the theories they like the hunt or are just sadistic. Whatever the case, they are not content to simply feed off the forest canopy. They descend down to dissolve and devour whatever walks the forest grounds. Most hunt alone. Some hunt in groups, which goes quite well. They rarely attack each other, as their prime weapon doesn’t work against their own species, and a group of five can take down almost every horror native to the forest. Their communication consists of pheromones, chemicals in the air that alert the sensitive noses of their allies. They have no speech and rarely make any sound whatsoever, besides the scratching of their claws.

A human would be appalled by the sight of the creature, for the withering flesh provides a disgusting sight even amidst the horrors of the forest. For a Spitling, it merely means food. It sniffs again. Another scent in the air. The Spitling moves its head back and forth, to let its fixed ears scan the area. On the left, ahead of the beast - at least ahead of what seemed to be the head. Something that’s blocked by a particularly big tree.

‘’Gudhiskie ghere Monster!’’

07-Jul-2015 22:33:01 - Last edited on 07-Jul-2015 22:35:59 by sword king

sword king

sword king

Posts: 2,716 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
The Spitling does not understand the words spoken. But it sees now. From behind the bone, another creature, a human runs out. The beast growls again and turns, the eyes fixating on the running woman. She looks tiny next to the golem, despite being reasonably tall for a human. She’s dressed as a warrior, with metal covering her chest, arms, legs and feet and the whole bearing a clear emblem from some army or another. Although the metal is thin, it is very surprising she can run at all, and certainly as fast as she does. Unfortunately, the armor is unlikely to hold against a creature this size, and her offense is lacking. She stops running and aims a light crossbow. The shaft hits the skin of the beast and fails to even draw blood.

Spitlings are considered a prime threat of the Flesh Forest due to their large presence and their kill-strike opening. Adventurers venturing into the Flesh Forest are to be on their guard at all times. Being mechanized does not provide protection as the acid leaks into the armor and dissolves the flesh. Machines falling victim to Spitlings are usually left with only their metal parts remaining. Automatons will not be targeted by Spitlings, due to their metal interior. Using an automaton as a spotter can help survival chances. If a Spitling is spotted, you should use long-range weapons to keep them at bay. Make sure to never walk directly beneath Spitlings, as they can belch their acid down. When forced to engage in close combat, one should stay away from the mouth and aim for the lower legs. The exo-skeleton can snap when hit with enough force.

07-Jul-2015 22:33:06 - Last edited on 08-Jul-2015 01:22:55 by sword king

sword king

sword king

Posts: 2,716 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
The Spitling blinks. The beast roars. The woman drops the crossbow and draws a short sword. Was the crossbow a very poor weapon, the sword will be even more useless against such a foe. She yells again.

‘’Rin! Rin naw!’’

The Spitling takes a small step downwards. The woman makes a waving gesture towards the tree she came from. The Spitling turns its head again. A man, by the tree. He’s not wearing armor. Instead, he is clenching a child to his chest. The baby is covered only in white cloth, no older than a year, and the mouth of the child is covered, to keep it quiet in this place. The man yells something, the woman repeats the ‘‘Rin!’’ and the gesture. The beast seems indecisive, no doubt having its minimal brain overwhelmed by two targets. The eyes don’t know where to look. It roars. The man screams, the woman raises her blade and seems to prepare to run towards the monster. Sounds mix… then one more joins the chorus. The sound of nail to bone.

The Spitling lands on the back of the beast. Its nails dig into the mountain of flesh. In the throat of the Spitling acid is pumped up. Its runs over the back of the monster. Beneath it, the beast notices the new arrival. Two limbs start moving up, elbows and misshapen shoulders bending in ways that limbs should not be able to bend. The Spitling has reached the back of the head. The snout opens. Teeth sink into the skin of the neck of the beast below. Acid gets pushed outwards and pours over the twitching flesh. A strong smell of burnt meat and something very sour fills the air. Skin gets dragged down by the flow, melting on contact with the yellow death. Flesh liquefies. Bone takes longer and is kept in place, being left with only smudges of deforming meat. Claws dig deeper to keep the Spitling in place. Then the jaw descends further, through the weakened beast. Teeth find something vital, snap shut, pull. The flesh mountain becomes unstable.

07-Jul-2015 22:33:13 - Last edited on 07-Jul-2015 22:37:50 by sword king

sword king

sword king

Posts: 2,716 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
The beast does not go gentle. It stampedes, throws its limbs up. But the attack has destroyed the neck, air flow, and blood flow, and is now rapidly damaging the weaker flesh of the brains. The huge size becomes dead weight. The Spitling scurries over the collapsing creature, the claws finding grip on the dissolving skin. The crash is clearly audible. Twenty-six eyes become unseeing.

The Spitling turns. The woman has become silent. She has moved, grabbing the man and placing him and the child behind her. The Spitling sniffs, and looks. The woman looks the creature in the eyes. Her hand with the sword is unsteady. There are tears in her eyes. The yellow eyes break free from the woman’s blue and fixate on the baby. It’s a girl. Her eyes look like her mother’s. The Spitling’s mouth opens. The man presses the child closer to himself, trying to shield her with his body. The Spitling sniffs. Then it turns away, aiming it’s head downward, and leaks some remaining acid on the still twitching beast. The mouth draws in loose bits of flesh, landing them in the throat with a quick snap back and forth.

The woman lowers her weapon. The Spitling looks at her again. Nonaggression. Some primitive understanding. The Spitling continues eating. The woman turns to comfort her husband and child. She says something. The man seems to understand. The woman turns back to the Spitling once more. She makes a greeting gesture. Then the group of three departs, woman, man and child, between the bones of the forest. The baby looks over the shoulders of the father. The Spitling holds its head sideways. The child mimics the gesture. Blue eyes meet the yellow. The Spitling gets up on its four legs. A jump. Then the sound.

07-Jul-2015 22:33:33 - Last edited on 08-Jul-2015 01:25:02 by sword king

sword king

sword king

Posts: 2,716 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
People find the sound of the Forest the worst. I don’t know why. My parents were deserters. They fled through the Flesh Forest because nobody would follow them there. They nearly died. But something came to help them. They told me they weren’t afraid after that, because there was the sound. The sound of them watching over us, and over me. The sound of nails to bone…
_____________

Hehe. It's been a while since I wrote anything. This was made in a single session, but I wanted to post something as I've had little luck with RolePlays lately.

Unfortunately, this kind of surrealism doesn't mesh with my style well. I tend to stick to short sentencing, and (partly due to the language barrier) my English is a little simple. This goes completely against the Lovecraftian style of long sentences and words that drag on and give an otherwordly feeling. Additionally, the POV is all over the place, and the describtions pretty lacking. I had fun writing it, but it probably looks a lot better in my head. Words, they always work against me. Damn you combinations of letters that symbolise concepts!

07-Jul-2015 22:38:53 - Last edited on 07-Jul-2015 23:45:04 by sword king

Azigarath

Azigarath

Posts: 9,271 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Review

Hey there Sword King, thanks for stopping by! I’ll read your short story now and provide feedback. I absolutely love the first paragraph; very well done on that, it really has that psychological horror feel to it, much more effective than my own shorter short story. This hunter leaps from bone to bone, nails scraping against their surfaces.

With so much haze and fog, it’d be quite hard to notice such a creature, these Spitlings, who have alligator-like snouts and daggered teeth. These monsters can probably bite a chunk out of someone and regurgitate their acidic saliva onto the wound, and possibly even corrode armour!

The yellow-eyed creature sniffs around, and makes his way through the Flesh Forest. A physical description is then given to the Spitlings; hard skin, like an exoskeleton put over a mammalian body, suggesting a semi-insectoid race, perhaps similar to the nameless race who often consist of Armoured Machines?

The Spitling stumbles, or finds, a very misshaped, wounded elephant-like flesh beast or something. It is also narrated that Spitlings communicate with pheromones, and possibly also by rhythmic scratching in the trees, maybe. An armored woman makes an appearance, making a run for it, and then shooting a crossbow at the Spitling, but the bolt doesn’t do much.

On page 5, post 3, there’s a tiny typo on the second paragraph, a little over halfway down, on the sentence that begins as *If a Spitling is spotted” there is “lang-range” instead of “long-range”.

Funnily enough, the beast (the Spitling or the elephant-monster?) is overwhelmed by two targets, suggesting that they can*t multitask quickly. The Spitling quickly dispatches the monster, its acid so corrosive it melts flesh and then bone. Presumably, the Spitling bites apart the neck bone, severing the spinal cord and disabling the monster; it then stampedes for a while and falls over, twelve eyes in the flesh-ground covered.

08-Jul-2015 00:57:27

Azigarath

Azigarath

Posts: 9,271 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Surprisingly, the Spitling lets the humans go, somewhat their saviour. I like how the baby mimics the Spitling’s gesture, that was unexpected and stands out, forming a kind of understanding between human and monster, and then the Spitling departs, causing its characteristic sound.

The end of the story finalises with another; the parents fled the army, taking their chances through the Flesh Forest so that no one follows them, and luckily, are saved by it rather than becoming dinner.

Overall, a very nice story that blends action, tension and even kindness. I really liked this story, thank-you for typing Sounds of the forest. Although English may not be your first language, you did the story very well, I found it impressive.

POVs do change a bit but it doesn’t bother me, we’re not trying to impress a professor of English after all. Descriptions are a bit lacking as you say, but everything else I can simply fill-in on my own. Sometimes, simple, short sentences still create a lot of emotion for the reader. As long as you form your own style, you often do a really good job. These Spitlings are indeed a formidable type of monster.

That’s all for now, thanks for stopping by!

08-Jul-2015 00:57:46 - Last edited on 08-Jul-2015 01:01:08 by Azigarath

sword king

sword king

Posts: 2,716 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
((Thank you. Undortunately, my lacking describtions does seem to have given rise to some errors in your summary. The overwhelming was the Beast. More notably, the crossbow was aimed at the Flesh Beast, not the Spitling. The setting was that the humans and the Beast were engaging, and the Spitling dropped in from above. Maybe there are other places where I wasn't clear enough.

If anybody wants to use the Spitlings, I largely imagined them to be build like wolves, except insect-like, with exoskeletons and claws that they use to keep hold on the bone trees, and a longer head that can produce extremely strong acid. They have a red-orange color scheme, providing camouflage in a forest of flesh and blood. They jump and move fast and make very dangerous opponents. While the acid can damage metal somewhat, it is much less effective and metal can provide suitable protection against smaller ones. Be very wary though, as the acid will find any holes and if there's tissue beneath it'll be leaking out before you can say 'au that hurts'.

I have a few questions regarding the world. Firstly, you mentioned neomarchers, but that's as much as I can find in terms of magic besides undefined magic possesed by the undead. Is it widespread, or even possible, amongst humans, elves, dwarves, angels or demons?

Secondly, I wanted to know a tad more about the latter two races, those being demons and fallen angels. Besides immortality, do they have other traits that seperate them from the other races? Do fallen angels keep their memory of the heavens from which they fell? And do demons come from somewhere, given Hell is confirmed to exist but the only mentioned exit leads into the church of suffering?))

09-Jul-2015 01:27:04

Quick find code: 49-50-558-65647165 Back to Top