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Feel the Silence

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Crystal Smee

Crystal Smee

Posts: 7,994 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
“Oh, Justine, I’m so sorry,” he whispered into her hair. There were tears on his cheeks too, now, there was no avoiding it. He felt a clenching deep in his stomach, a pain deep in his chest, at seeing her like this. He would have given anything he could have to make that pain go away. All he could do was support her now, and try to help her heal. He picked her up; her body felt frail and weightless that night, small as a doll in his strong arms, and he collapsed down on the bed with her. Laying down across the quilt, he curled her into his chest and stroked her hair while she cried, until finally, what felt like hours later, she sniffled and hiccupped her way into an uneasy sleep. Then, finally, James allowed his eyes to drift shut, and he slept with his hands entwined through hers.

26-Dec-2009 03:28:12

Crystal Smee

Crystal Smee

Posts: 7,994 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Ok, so, there it is. That scene was tough to write because it was Justine finding out that Lucas was dead, and that's pretty intense. I originally wrote it from her POV, but it came out sounding lame, I guess - it's kind of impossible to capture that kind of emotion, or at least I don't think I managed it, so I thought I'd try to show it, through James' POV...In my craft of writing class we've been discussing psychic distance (how close we are to the characters' thoughts) and I thought maybe a little more distance could be interesting for this scene.
Anyway, yeah. I'll get us in her head with the next scene. I gave up fighting with this because I want to keep the story moving forward, so it may not be my absolute best, but I'll come back and edit sometime. This is my Christmas present to all of you: Depressing ads. :) At least its an ad.
So enjoy. ^_^ Hopefully more to come over the break.

26-Dec-2009 03:38:31

Chuk

Chuk

Posts: 14,177 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Christmas adds! :D
I'll be reading as soon as I finish the next, penultimate chapter of my story. ^_^
Good stuff, if disappointingly short. :P
I didn't catch any typos this time around, though I wasn't really looking. And yeah, I'd have to agree. This kind of emotion is next to impossible to convey. I hate writing death scenes.

27-Dec-2009 04:01:33 - Last edited on 28-Dec-2009 05:31:41 by Chuk

Crystal Smee

Crystal Smee

Posts: 7,994 Rune Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Thanks ^_^
Hey, so, I guess I was wrong about that second add. It will happen. Believe me, I think about this story daily. I write random scenes for it in my notebook during my classes (since half of them I don't even have to pay attention in). They're just...not the ones that come next. Which would probably be more productive to do. I just know what's coming and that part is really interesting to write, and I'm kind of mired down on how to get there....Yeah, so, I'm rambling. Sorry. Tired. Um, basically, midterms coming up, basketball is hectic, I'm really busy, very little sleep, so yeah...I ask you for patience. Things will calm down in a few weeks and I'll get back into this.

14-Jan-2010 03:50:00

Lord Thross

Lord Thross

Posts: 10,809 Opal Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
^ EXACTLY! How can you even think about asking us for this "patience" thing? Why, I never!
Nah, good luck with all of that stuff. I'm sort of groggy myself, and can't remember any of it now. XD Just write when you feel like it, and tell me when there are Adds! :P

14-Jan-2010 06:19:04

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