RuneScape Forum Archive | Feel the Silence

Crystal Smee

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James could remember the first time he ever saw Justine. It was long before that time in the garden a day ago – years before, in fact. He had been fourteen, and she must have been only ten or eleven. She had been outside, near the walls, wrestling with one of the servant boys. James did*’t know his name, or who he belonged to; he did*’t know any of the staff. He had been upstairs, listening to a meeting between the king and some of his advisors; his father had made him sit in on meetings regularly since he was twelve in attempt to educate his son and prepare him to rule. He had turned to stare out the window, however, because he had no desire to listen to how many shipments of grain had disappeared to pirates this time. For a while he was transfixed by the sky, which was twisted and colored through the stained glass. He longed desperately to be outdoors, under the open sky, riding his stallion until it felt like he was flying, instead of confined here with his father, listening to exhaustingly boring politics all afternoon.
The flash of movement below had caught his wandering eye. At first, he thought it was two servant boys, until her bun pulled loose and long strands of hair cascaded down around her shoulders. They shone gold, red, and green through the window. He imagined he could hear her laughter as he saw the smile break across her face, and she rushed to tackle the boy again. For a moment, his chest constricted, and he had never wanted anything as much to be there next to her, playing with them, so he could see her face more clearly.
“James, what is so fascinating outside the window?”
“I’m – I’m sorry, Father!” he stammered frantically, whirling back to the meeting and expectant faces of the gathered lords.
One of the advisors rose and drifted to the window. “Gray,” he sneered, peering out, his lip curling, “your daughter is with that boy again.”

12-Jul-2009 22:10:13

Crystal Smee

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Another advisor rose, then, and craned his neck over James’ shoulder. James remembered him as tall, with slightly graying hair, and eyes like ice. He had scowled as he looked out the window, and James had heard the vicious curse under his breath.
“They’re inseparable,” he murmured, so low James was sure he was the only one who could hear. Swiftly, Gray unlatched the window, and the entire frame swung open. James gaped in amazement as the girl’s face suddenly became clear. It looked startlingly pale without colors rippling across her skin. “Justine!” the man yelled.
She looked up. “Yes, Father?” her voice was high and light, just as James imagined. She giggled as the boy tugged at her skirts and she tumbled backward.
“I’m sure Lucas has some chores to do,” Gray suggested firmly. “You shouldn’t distract him.”
The boy, Lucas, jumped to his feet. “Of course, my Lord!” he cried, but James saw him mouth the words, “I’m sorry,” before bolting away.
Gray had turned back to the King and advisors. “My apologies, your Highness, for the distraction. I won’t let her wander into your grounds again.”
The King hadn’t been looking at Gray, but at James. “Your daughter may play with who she pleases, Gray, so long as it doesn’t keep either of them from their duties. Let’s get back to work, and try to focus this time.”
James ducked his head, staring at his messy notes, and resigned himself to pay attention for the rest of the afternoon.

Now, when he saw her leaving her house, holding her skirts up with one hand, his breath caught in his throat yet again. She had grown up so beautifully, from a freckled, almost boyish-looking girl into a gorgeous young woman, with flowing auburn curls and creamy skin. Her dress was pale blue, and the stone set in the pendant around her neck sparkled aquamarine to match it. She stared at the ground as she navigated down the steps in high heels, then looked up as she paced the rest of the walkway to meet him.

12-Jul-2009 22:11:14

Crystal Smee

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James leaned casually against the coach he had brought, looking resplendent himself in a black shirt and pants, with his blond hair combed carefully back.
He smiled dumbly, and for a moment he could only gape. The dress had a low v-neck and glittered in the warm evening light, and the hem dropped all the way to the ground. She grinned too as she reached him and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
“Wow,” he managed finally.
“You don’t look too bad yourself, my Prince,” she murmured, and he felt his skin heat. He imagined arriving at the gala with her on his arm, and how the other lords would gape. And his father – oh, his father would be so proud of him! Over her shoulder, he saw Gray Val’Myren standing in the doorway, arms folded, a triumphant smile on his face. Both their fathers would approve of this match, he knew.
“Well, shall we go?” He pulled open the carriage door and offered a hand to help her in. He sat next to her on the bench, so close that his leg brushed against hers. He remembered the ride back from the city, and the feel of his chest against her back, and flushed again. They did*’t speak; both of them were afraid to try their voices, afraid that they wouldn’t work. Luckily the ride to the palace was short, and within minutes he was tangling his fingers through hers as he helped her out of the carriage. They had stopped before a side entrance, one that would lead straight into the ballroom where the galas were held. James stopped before the door and turned to her.
“Justine…I should warn you, I will I have to spend a lot of time talking to important people tonight – I have an obligation to my father. But I know all of that would bore you, so I will do my best to keep it to a minimum.”
“Oh, it’s all right,” she smiled thinly. “My father will be pleased that all of those important people will see me with you.”

12-Jul-2009 22:12:23

Crystal Smee

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“He did seem quite pleased when you left.”
“He approves.” She shrugged. “It’s time for me to get married. He’s trying to sell me off. He’d be thrilled if I married a Prince. Think of the connections!”
James met her gaze. “Well, you could sound a little more excited! It wouldn’t be so bad, would it?”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, shall we?” she replied quickly. It was a dangerous conversation, this early on, but he had to admit the thought of marrying her had already crossed his mind. She was that beautiful, that wonderful…
He grinned confidently. “What, do I have some competition?”
Justine glanced at the ground and did*’t answer for a few moments. “No,* she whispered. He frowned, and would have pressed her, but she quickly added, “Let’s go in, shall we? I’m sure we’ve waited long enough to fashionably late.”
“Right.” He grabbed the handles and pulled the wide double doors open.

12-Jul-2009 22:13:03

Crystal Smee

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Lucas sat next to the fire with his legs crossed and shoulders hunched. In his hands, he held Justine’s letter, and his lips moved soundlessly as he read it over again, and again. By now he knew most of it by heart, and all throughout the day her words repeated through his mind. He held the three small sheets of paper in his left hand, tracing her cursive with the index finger of his right hand. The smudge he had made back in the burned village caught his eye and he grimaced, gritting his teeth angrily. He was such a fool, sometimes.
The firelight made the papers glow orange, and the ink shone brightly, as though it had its own fire. When he reached the end of the letter for the third time, he inhaled sharply, as though he had been dealt a blow to the stomach. His throat had closed up and his chest was tight. “Oh, Justine…” he whispered. Every time he read her final words, he felt as though he might cry. Was it possible to miss someone so much that it killed you? If this war did*’t take his life, missing Justine surely would. She had been at his side for as long as he could remember, and he did*’t know how to exist without her. It was like forgetting how to breathe.
Sighing, he brushed grains of sand from the papers and carefully folded them back into the envelope. Hopefully, she had received his letters and knew that he was okay, at least. He couldn’t wait to reach the garrison at Port Sarim to send the letters he had written since the last station, and to pick up whatever she had sent him. He imagined a stack of letters, ten or fifteen or more even, and he would sit on the deck of the boat, the sea wind blowing through his hair, and read them one by one. Maybe he would only allow himself one each night, or maybe he would read them all in one sitting. He hadn’t decided. It wouldn’t matter; all he needed was to see them, to hold something that she had touched and be able to think of her.
“Hey, kid!”

12-Jul-2009 22:15:36

Crystal Smee

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Gavin hovered on the other side of Lucas* little fire, glowering fiercely.
“What do you want, Gavin?” he asked tiredly.
The grizzled old soldier crossed his arms and glared with all the hate he could muster. “I got news for you, kid. You’re finding another mission to go on.”
“Why?” Lucas blurted, then it hit him. “Oh!” Of all the missions, Gavin chose the same one as him, of course.
“I’m not workin’ with you, kid, so you better find someplace else to go.”
“But this is the only one that would take me – that I would be any use on!”
“That is really sad, kid. Martin wasted his life on a useless twelve-year-old that ain’t good for nothing except sitting on his behind in the sand. But get me straight: I will not travel with you, I will not work with you, and I will not let you mess up an important mission. You got me, kid?”
Lucas had been sitting with his head bowed to this tirade, clutching Justine’s letter in his hand. Now he burst to his feet as anger surged through him. In an instant, he stood across the fire from Gavin, almost as tall as the veteran, and the look of rage on his face matched the older man’s. “No, you listen to me for once, Gavin. My name is Lucas. Not *kid.’ So quit it, all right?” he hissed. *I have the right to go where I please. I’m not going to sit around here and be useless because you decided that’s the way it should be. I’m sorry Martin is dead. I did*’t ask him to save me. I’m grateful he did, and I*ll do my best to make it worth it. Now I’m going on that mission, because I want to do something worthwhile, for once, and you are going to have to deal with it. You don’t have to like me, or forgive me, but you had better be willing to fight alongside me. I won’t let you push me around any more. I have as much right to be here as you! I’m going, and you can’t stop me. So get over it.”

12-Jul-2009 22:16:08

Crystal Smee

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When he had finished his rant, he stood still, chest heaving, glaring at Gavin. The older man clenched and unclenched his fists, trembling with rage. Finally, he jabbed a finger at Lucas across the fire. “You better not cross me out there, Lucas. Nobody can stop me from killing your scrawny behind out there in the wild. So you watch it, you understand me?” he snarled, then turned and stomped away into the darkness.
Lucas’ legs gave out from beneath him and he collapsed in the sand, exhausted. His outburst had taken everything out of him. He fingered the letter in his hands, wondering where the courage to say all those things had come from. He was sick of feeling like he did*’t belong and being pushed around. Gavin would see that he could change. And it began tonight, with standing up for himself. A grin spread across his face as he remembered the look of pure shock on Gavin’s face. Lucas could do the unexpected. He tucked the letter away in his pocket. “Just wait,” he whispered. “You’ll all see what I’m capable of.”

12-Jul-2009 22:16:17

Crystal Smee

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Justine’s face ached from smiling so much. She stood with her arm linked through James’ and tried to keep her pleasant smile plastered on her face as she nodded. She wasn’t really listening to what Lord High-and-Mighty was ranting about, but she was sure it wasn’t at all important. Her gaze wandered around the room, watching for her father. The pair had already encountered him once, and she had been disgusted by his triumphant grin and unsubtle hints. He was pleased beyond belief; he thought her relationship with Lucas was officially, finally, ended.
Oh, Lucas. He was a topic she had tried to avoid all night with herself, but she couldn’t ignore him forever. The moment riding back to her home was nothing compared to what she had said on the steps. How could she have betrayed him like this? How could she just pretend he did*’t exist, when he was all she ever thought about? In a way, that was why she had said it. Today, in the afternoon, she had felt so peaceful, and that ache for him had gone away for a while. She wanted to enjoy her time with the prince, and she thought if she tried to forget about Lucas for just a little while, she might be able to. However, she had accomplished the exact opposite; her stomach felt uneasy, her legs felt like lead, and she could barely focus on a word anyone said to her. All she could think about was how hurt he would have been by her words.
James had tried to lead her out onto the dance floor early. She had flinched at his touch, which had created an awkward situation, and she’d had to talk fast, explaining she wasn’t much of a dancer., and then she had accidentally stepped on his feet. Things were not going well. And the entire time she was aware of her father’s watchful gaze, boring into her back like a knife. He had been grinning at first, and now he was scowling as he sensed the evening wasn’t going as planned.
“Miss Val’Myren?”

12-Jul-2009 22:16:36

Crystal Smee

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“I’m sorry, what?”
“I was just wondering if you agreed with met that something needs to be done,” Lord - Val’Lyese, yes, that was his name - explained, with an edge in his voice.
“Yes, of course,” she replied hastily.
James placed his hand on the small of her back. *Look, Justine, your glass is empty. Let’s go get another drink, shall we?” he said loudly, and quickly steered her away. Next to the bar, he bent his head to hers. “You seem distracted,” he observed softly.
“I’m sorry. I guess I’ve just never really enjoyed the galas all that much.”
He smiled charmingly. “Well, let’s get you out of here then. We can’t have you being unhappy.”
“Where can we go?”
“Let’s take a walk. The balcony out through those doors goes a good way around the castle, and provides a spectacular view.” He took her arm and they walked up the steps at the end of the hall and out onto the balcony, where they meandered along in silence for a few moments. Finally he asked softly, “Is everything all right, Justine?”
“Yes. It’s just what I said before – I’ve never liked these balls. The people are just so – so fake, you know?” she exclaimed. “I mean, so many women I’ve never spoken to before have come up to me, telling me how beautiful my dress is, and oh, we should get together sometime and catch up!” she mocked, in a high voice. “I mean, these people don’t know me at all, and they act like we’re old friends. It’s so false. And all the court men who hate each other, complimenting each other while plotting ways in their heads to outsmart them to win your father’s favor. I guess I’d just rather spend my time with people who seem more…real. Honest. I can’t stand all the fake pleasantries.”
He nodded. “I know what you mean. But I hope you’ve enjoyed yourself at least a little bit.” He bit his lip, and worriedly added, “I’d hate to think I dragged you here if you did*’* want to be here.”

12-Jul-2009 22:17:29

Crystal Smee

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“I’m enjoying myself now,* she promised, casting a sideways glance at him. “I wanted to spend time with you, and now we can do that.”
James guided her down onto a bench and grinned back. “Good, I’m glad. I hope you think that I’m ‘real’, Justine. I want you to trust me.”
She laughed, as if that was a ridiculous statement. “Whyever wouldn’t I, my Prince?”
His smile broadened as he heard the confidence in her voice. “Well, people tend not to trust those with power, especially me. They forget that I’m human, too, and that I’m a good person. They always expect the worst – lies, dishonesty, and so on – from royalty. But I hope you think differently. I wouldn’t lie to you, Justine.”
She bowed her head. It’s too bad that I already have, she thought sadly. “I hope not,* she agreed. “Don’t worry, James, I trust you.”
There was a moment’s silence, then he said, “So all these people you’ve never spoken to – I mean, these are people that you and I grew up with. If you did*’t spend time with them, well, who did you spend all your time with as a little girl?”
“Well, we did*’t live in the castle, since early on my father was mostly focused on his business, and only became an advisor to the king when I was a little girl – I never really had a chance to know them, but I wasn’t interested. I played with the servants sometimes, when I came here.” James remembered the boy she had wrestled with, and her carefree laughter, floating through the air. “I spent most of my time by myself, I guess,” she mused. “I’ve always been a bit of a loner.”
“Did*’t you ever get bored?”
“I suppose.” She avoided his eyes, thinking of Lucas, and the long afternoons they spent together, talking, laughing, kissing, playing games with each other. She had never been bored, not until he left her for the army. “What about you? Who does a Prince play with?”

12-Jul-2009 22:18:16

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Feel the Silence