Two miles is really far away ... or do I just walk to slowly?
(not sure about American but a couple = 2). If you ask me to walk for two miles I'd say: "I'd rather not!"
***
Hahaha, no, you walk extraordinarily slowly. The average human walking speed is 4 mph, and he'd probably be moving even a little faster, since he's trying to get there as quick as he can.
Even still, at maybe 25-30 minutes from first sight to arrival at the village, it's fine. It's not like, 3 huts. There are a good number of people. The creatures wouldn't have finished everyone off already.
Notice that they are nearly done, walking around and making sure the last few survivors are dead; they have already been at work for a while.
***
I've read the return of Zaros. Pretty good. Comparing it to your other stories though, you *may* have just over-done your descriptions for a tiny bit.
***
Keep in mind, these stories were not written near each other chronologically. I've been a very sporadic writer at best, and the period of time between The Return of Zaros and The Tomb (my very first-ever short) and Twilight's Shadow (my second-ever written work on these forums) is something like half a year or longer.
So by the time I wrote Zaros, my descriptions had improved.
***
~Do you really mean 'the ruby'? Where is *the* ruby? Maybe its just a stylistic thing ... but it just caught my eye for a bit.
***
Yeh, it's just an odd stylistic thingy I used. No set reason; just liked how it sounded.
***
"perfectly flawless skin"
~In fact, these two words are almost identical, when they're put together it seems ... unnecessary, though. Just a thought.
***
No more unnecessary than saying the inky blackness, or the thick, solid oak door, etc. (c) Re-iterating synonyms serves to highlight and emphasize a descriptor.
(not sure about American but a couple = 2). If you ask me to walk for two miles I'd say: "I'd rather not!"
***
Hahaha, no, you walk extraordinarily slowly. The average human walking speed is 4 mph, and he'd probably be moving even a little faster, since he's trying to get there as quick as he can.
Even still, at maybe 25-30 minutes from first sight to arrival at the village, it's fine. It's not like, 3 huts. There are a good number of people. The creatures wouldn't have finished everyone off already.
Notice that they are nearly done, walking around and making sure the last few survivors are dead; they have already been at work for a while.
***
I've read the return of Zaros. Pretty good. Comparing it to your other stories though, you *may* have just over-done your descriptions for a tiny bit.
***
Keep in mind, these stories were not written near each other chronologically. I've been a very sporadic writer at best, and the period of time between The Return of Zaros and The Tomb (my very first-ever short) and Twilight's Shadow (my second-ever written work on these forums) is something like half a year or longer.
So by the time I wrote Zaros, my descriptions had improved.
***
~Do you really mean 'the ruby'? Where is *the* ruby? Maybe its just a stylistic thing ... but it just caught my eye for a bit.
***
Yeh, it's just an odd stylistic thingy I used. No set reason; just liked how it sounded.
***
"perfectly flawless skin"
~In fact, these two words are almost identical, when they're put together it seems ... unnecessary, though. Just a thought.
***
No more unnecessary than saying the inky blackness, or the thick, solid oak door, etc. (c) Re-iterating synonyms serves to highlight and emphasize a descriptor.
10-Dec-2008 04:24:46 - Last edited on 10-Dec-2008 04:34:36 by A White Wolf