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Anne Lauten

Anne Lauten

Posts: 3,830 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Here's a story I wrote for a contest. It had to be centered around the town I live in. For posting it here, I swapped out my town's name and replaced it with 'Falador'. This is not the sort of story I usually write, but there was an older woman judging the entries and I figured that she might like it.

It's very rough. Unfinished, sort of. Gah. :(

----

'Mandy'



The small blue-jacketed figure ran wildly up the sidewalk, scarcely heeding the other occupants.

A young mother, clutching a chubby child’s hand as she went, was nearly knocked aside. She stared reproachfully after the speeding body, until the child, tugging impatiently at her pant leg, bade her continue.

The little girl–for the figure was female–turned onto a gravel-strewn path. Above the path was a trellised sign, on which ‘Falador Waterfowl Park’ in green and gold, was clearly visible.

This was her favourite place.

Her name was Amanda, and she was a stocky ten-year-old with shoulder-length black hair, round glasses, blue eyes, and a forever serious expression. School had just let out, and she had run, fleeing from the harsh tongues of the other girls.

It wasn’t like she cared, she thought. She didn’t care about them at all. They could go jump in a pond for all she cared. Kelsey and Carmen and Tina could all go hang themselves with their stupid blonde hair. So what? After all, she thought, they were all dumb anyway. She didn’t need a boyfriend. They all had them, the popular girls, Kelsey and Ryan, Carmen and Bradley, Tina and Kevin. It was stupid. Amanda*s mother had said that once, she remembered. Like, jeez, they were ten. You weren’t supposed to have a boyfriend until you were like, sixteen, right? And who cared what brand of jean you wore anyway? Who actually cared about that? Stupid girls, she decided. Stupid girls like Kelsey and Carmen and Tina.

02-May-2007 23:06:27 - Last edited on 02-May-2007 23:09:42 by Anne Lauten

Anne Lauten

Anne Lauten

Posts: 3,830 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
She ran to the tall look-out tower. You could see right across the park from there. She always went there. Before the divorce, her dad had taken her there. They used to stand up there, together, neither of them speaking, both comfortable in the other’s presence. Sometimes you could watch ducks from there. A few times Amanda had seen a mother duck with babies. Her dad had called them ducklings, she remembered. Little fluffy things. She had wanted to take one home for a pet, but her dad had said no. They would be better left alone.

There was a little hole in a post there. That was where she went now. She had put her locket there. Gold. It had two pictures of her dad in it. He had given it to her when he moved.

Gone. Moved away. He was in Alberta now, with Ria, the brown-eyed young woman who had worked as his secretary. Silly Ria. Amanda had tried to hate her, but couldn’t. Nobody could. Not Ria.

They lived in a big apartment. Sometime Amanda would go there, too. He had promised her. Mandy, he called her.

His Mandy.

Her mother had never called her that. Her mother was too busy to even talk to her much anymore. She was always with the twins. Twin boys. Three-year-olds. Bryan and Jeffery. Her brothers.

She didn’t like them. They broke her things, they whined at her, they put paint on her chair.


It wasn’t there. Her heart nearly stopped. She reached deeper into the hole. It was there. Her locket. She had nearly lost it.

She would take it home this time. If she hid it in her bedroom, than the twins wouldn’t be able to get it. She didn’* want her mother to see it either. She didn’* want her mother to think that she loved her father more.

There was someone coming up the path. Behind her. She didn’t know why, but she always felt guilty when anybody came and saw her, looking out over the marsh. Silly really.

Her mother.

Her mother?

She never came to the Waterfowl Park. Too dirty. Too cold. Too buggy. Why would she be here now?

02-May-2007 23:07:19

Anne Lauten

Anne Lauten

Posts: 3,830 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
“Amanda!” she called, “Amanda!”

She slipped the locket surreptitiously into her pocket. “Yeah?”

“Come home now, okay?”

“Why?”

There was something wrong. Amanda could see it. Did a twin get hurt?

Her mother took her hand, leading her back to the house. She wasn’t a baby, she thought. She could walk by herself. Twisting free, she skipped ten steps in front. There. Much better.

“Amanda!”

She slowed, keeping her hands in front of her so her mother couldn’t hold them. “What?”

“Amanda.”

“What?”

“Well, Amanda . . .”

“What!*

*It** your father.”

“What about him?”

“He had a heart attack.”

Amanda*s heart seemed to stop for a second. “Is he alright?” she asked, nearly bursting into tears.

“He’s in the hospital. He’ll be okay, they think. He’d like you to come see him, if you want to, that is.”

Joy leapt into Amanda** face. “How?”

“If you decide to go, Ria’s sister will come pick you up. You’ll probably go by train, and maybe a little bit by car.”

“I’m going.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Amanda ran ahead. “I’m going home.”

“I’ll see you there.”

Amanda*s mother watched as her daughter sped off, the blue jacket flapping off her shoulders. She knew that her eldest child loved her father. He understood her. She loved Amanda, but had never been able to fully connect with her. It was as though they operated on different wavelengths. It would be good for Amanda to go visit her father, although she knew in her heart that once she left, she would never come back.

----
Amanda banged the screen door behind her. Jerking off her muddied sneakers and throwing her jacket over a chair, she darted upstairs, to her room.

She had to do something. She had never been a sit-still person. What could she do? Mail a package? No. Send flowers? No. Write a letter? Yes. That would work.

02-May-2007 23:08:12

Anne Lauten

Anne Lauten

Posts: 3,830 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
She found the pink heart notepaper that Ria had given her, a sharpened pencil, and a strawberry-scented eraser. Sitting down at her little desk, she began writing.


Dear dad.

Mother told me about the heart attack. I’m very sorry. Things are okay here. The twins are fine. I’m alright. I’m looking forward very much to coming and seeing you. I’ll bring some mint candies. The Waterfowl park is also fine. I saw a mother duck with babies yesterday.

Mother is good as well. The goldfish send their love.

Say hi to Ria for me!

XOXO

Love,

your Mandy.

----

Two months later, Amanda helped her dad load the last of her belongings into her father’s grey van. Her mother watched from the door, valiantly trying to hold back tears.

They hugged and kissed, and then Amanda climbed into the backseat, and was off.

Her mother waved with the twins, waving, waving, waving until the van crested the hill, and disappeared.

----

Why was her father stopping? Amanda wondered.

“Come on,” he said, stepping out.

She followed his lead, and found herself at a spot she knew well.

They walked a short distance, finally turning onto a gravel-strewn path. Above the path was a trellised sign, on which ‘Falador Waterfowl Park’ in green and gold, was clearly visible.

This was their favourite place.

02-May-2007 23:08:35

Anne Lauten

Anne Lauten

Posts: 3,830 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Thanks. I didn't win though. The lady running the contest said that, while mine was by far the best writing, it was too 'Dark' to win.

Note here, they're going to post the winning entry on the town's website. Mine isn't going to bring in the tourists.

Therefore I was beaten by a ten-year-old who spelled 'Summer' wrong. Poem about sun. Gah.

06-May-2007 21:26:37

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