forums.rs

Forums

-= The Revolt Lover Series =-

Quick find code: 49-50-489-23874865

of 121
Azure Sunday

Azure Sunday

Posts: 3,757 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
~~~

Zezima hummed to himself as he sauntered past the burning building. Dimly he noticed the fire and knew that tomorrow he would have to reprimand the rowdy elitists who had started it. Right now his mind was concentrated on other matters, however. He wondered where Voldemort and Numanuma3 were. They usually shadowed him continuously.
Traversing one of the bridges that forded the arena*s lava moat he stopped a moment to marvel at the lava. It lived and breathed in the night, heat gushing off its body in waves, distorting the air. Zezima’s eyes followed its path to where his view became blocked by the mage tower and then his eyes traveled up that imposing building. Once it cleared the mage wall, the tower's shape was only defined by the area of sky that contained no stars. Zezima felt a need, an instinct to move towards that tower. Numanuma3 and Voldemort were probably in their rooms anyway.
He traveled across the raucous arena, peering briefly around in an attempt to locate his comrades, but didn’t see anyone he knew. Plenty of elitists knew him, though, and signaled him to come and join their celebrations. He walked solemnly past them. Too many wanted to become the elitist leader. He would not walk into a trap.
At the foot of the mage arena he turned once more to sweep his eyes across the crowds. Something in his chest urged him to go and join his people, something else told him it was folly. In the end the latter feeling won over. Right now what he wanted to do was find Numanuma3. He turned decisively towards the mage arena and that was when Numanuma3 found him.
A faded shout came from above and Zezima lifted his head just in time to see Numanuma3 fall on him. With a crunch everything was gone. Cheezit92 followed with a second thump, then Mr. Happy, and then darkness, and silence.

28-May-2006 04:15:26

Azure Sunday

Azure Sunday

Posts: 3,757 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Inwards the noobs pressed, and inwards the elitists were compressed until they had nothing left but the arena. And then, with a sudden burst of the horns, all fighting stopped. Well, almost all. Zeldafan920, a small noob dressed in green robes who liked to play the ocarina didn’t seem to hear the trumpets and continued his battle with a large red-haired, green-skinned elitist named Ganon2. So far, only Zeldafan920’s agility had kept him alive. He danced circles about the slightly drunken elitist and stabbed at him with a small sword that he called the ‘Master Sword’. The larger man wielded two yellow-bladed dirks, each easily as big as Zeldafan920 and swung them in cumbersome yet vicious sweeps; his brutal armor seemed to have been constructed on his body.
Numerous noobs watched but didn’t interfere with the battle. Then, with one particularly ferocious sweep, Ganon2 knocked the sword out of Zeldafan920’s hands and sent it flying to stick in the ground near the lava moat. Thinking quickly, though, Zeldafan920 drew his bow and started shooting light arrows at Ganon and…
Oh, wait. I’m getting off track.
Ok…lets just say Zeldafan920 fought valiantly but didn’t make it.
Back to the battle now.
Drums rolled and fires leaped up. The noobs and outcasts held both the walls and the numbers and the elitists stared despondently at the massive invading army. A dark form stepped forth from the noob masses. No one could tell exactly who it was for a hood concealed its face. Gandolf, an aged mage, strode out from the elitist forces to meet this messenger.
Messenger:So these are the great elitist forces.
Its voice was laced with mirth.
Messenger:We are giving you one chance to surrender.
Gandolf:Just name your terms, noob.
He said this steadily, but those nearby saw the anguish in his face.
Messenger:Very well then,
Messenger:These are the terms:

28-May-2006 04:21:44

Azure Sunday

Azure Sunday

Posts: 3,757 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Messenger:The rabble of the elitists and their deluded allies
Messenger:Shall withdraw at once beyond the Anduin.
Messenger:West of the Anduin as far as the Misty Mountains
Messenger:and the Gap of Rohan shall be tributary to Mordor and
Messenger:Men there shall bear no weapons, but shall help to rebuild Isengard.
He stopped, smiling. But to his surprise, Gandolf did not accept the terms. Instead, he cast aside his cloak and a white light shone forth like a sword in that black place.
Gandolf:These terms of yours, we reject them utterly.
Gandolf:Get you gone, for your embassy is over and death is near to you.
Gandolf:Begone!
Then the noob messenger laughed no more. He gave a great cry, and turned, leaped upon his steed, and with his company galloped back to Cirith Gorgor. The wind blew, and the trumpets sang, and arrows whined; but the sun now climbing towards the South was veiled in the reeks of Mordor. And out of the gathering mirk the Nazgul came with their cold voices crying the words of death; and then all hope was…
…Uh.
Um*m.
Well.
Let’s see here.
Replace the messenger with Texan85, the Nazgul with arrows, and Gandolf with…
Umm.
Ok, nevermind. Just forget the whole thing.
Here’s what really happened:

No horn interrupted the noobs as they rushed in on the remaining elitist armies, looking and sounding like a pack of goblins, slavering for battle. No order had formed in the elitist ranks, many were still waiting for Zezima or Numanuma3 to suddenly appear and save them. Neither did.
Arrows screamed through the night, invisible, taking out scores of elitists. Noobs fought in the lava ring’s demonic glow, steel and iron swords clashing with flails and abyssal whips. Many of them would be pushed into the lava throughout the course of the battle.

28-May-2006 04:24:02

Azure Sunday

Azure Sunday

Posts: 3,757 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
By the end, several elitist mages and rangers had gathered in the center of the arena to shoot at the outcasts on the walls while the elitist meleers held off the noobs, but by then it was too late. All of the elitist meleers were dead or dying. Still, the mages inflicted severe damage on the surrounding noobs with ice barrages before long-range outcast attacks took them out.
Noobs from all sides reached the center of the arena and almost fought each other before they realized the battle was over. Everything reeked of sweat and blood. A ragged cheer started in the middle and radiated outwards, many soldiers hugging each other in elation. Then one noob called out ‘let’s get the outcasts’ and that cry radiated outwards aswell, but a magic flare suddenly shot out above the heads of the noobs and focused their attention to the silhouette Texan85, who stood stoically on the mage arena battlements. During the final battle he had maged elitists beside the outcasts and had seen their courage. Now his voice carried across the cold night air, strong and clear as crystal.
Texan85:No, we will not get the outcasts
Even if they had tried, Texan85 thought, the noobs would have lost. The outcasts had the high ground and the long-rage equipment.
Texan85:Although their presence does mar the purpose of the rebel cause,
Texan85:They have fought valiantly and shall be respected.
Texan85:Tonight we won a battle,
Texan85:Not the final battle, I think, but perhaps the deciding battle.
Texan85:Lumbridge still lies beneath the elitist hand,
Texan85:Along with Karamja and several other smaller strongholds.
Texan85:We hold what was once the elitist stronghold,
Texan85:And we control this wasteland that is called the Wilderness.
A cheer from the noobs.
Texan85:And speaking of wastelands,
Texan85:Anyone from Texas, see me when we return to camp.
Another cheer and the noobs dispersed.

28-May-2006 04:26:00

Azure Sunday

Azure Sunday

Posts: 3,757 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Cleaning up the mage arena was a tedious task but one that had to be done. The nearby lava, a perfect place to deposit bodies, helped a great deal. Somewhere during the decontamination of the mage arena the body of Cheezit92 was found between those of Numanuma3, Zezima, and an unidentifiable man. No one was sure what to make of this fact, but many decided that Cheezit92 had played a large part in their victory. He became a martyr for the noob cause.
Eventually, some rebels and all the outcasts decided to commit themselves to the long trudge back to Lumbridge. The fortress had virtually no elitists in it. Within an hour or two of noobish mistakes and outcast stratagems it fell and the noobs flowed in. The noob cage that lay within was demolished soonafter and once again fresh noobs swarmed into Runescape.
Another few months ensued in which rogue elitist were hunted down. Signs appeared in banks saying, for example -

ELITIST WITH BIGGISH EARZ ‘N GREENOUS EYES LOOK AT ME IN VARROCK DUNGEON. REWARD – 50 GP.

- or -

DUKE HORACIO STILL ON THE LOOSE. REWARD – DRAGON SHIELD

- and a golden era of noob bounty-hunting developed.
Meanwhile, Texan85 faced the problem of the Outcasts. Baa Bleety demanded that the old promises made to her by Ratherdashng be kept, giving the outcasts Ardougne and its surrounding cities. Texan85, however, would not settle for this. He was set on seeing Runescape under noob control.
Eventually they reached a compromise. The outcasts would gain control of Karamja, Crandor, Ape Atoll, and perhaps Entrana if they could wrest it out of the grip of the moderators. The noobs, meanwhile, gained all of the main land known as Runescape. It was either this or the outcasts must be killed and reborn as noobs. The outcasts reluctantly agreed to take the islands.
From there, everything was downhill. Spending several months in a small building in Varrock, several noobs actually drew up an articulate Runescape Constitution. It read thusly:

28-May-2006 05:21:47

Azure Sunday

Azure Sunday

Posts: 3,757 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
We, the noobs of Runescape, to keep this country good, do say that anyone above the big level of 50 do be a not-noob. They will be killed. Except for those that don’t live on mainland Runescape that don’t count. Like the outcasts. And the mod-guys.
Outcasts can come in only with a pa(c)*sport. They will be killed too if they stay long. So watch out.

Ty for reading,
This took a long time to write.
P.S.: Everyone be happy.

A national ‘Down With Elitist’ day was also initiated to commemorate the long fight. On this holiday noobs burned effigies of elitists and many would go on a pilgrimage up to the mage arena to gape at the site of the battle which had secured noob victory.
Texan85 remained leader of the noobs for a long time after the final battle. Although he was often away in search of the elusive Texan that plagued his mind, the noobs enjoyed him being in power. Whenever he returned to Lumbridge, his palace, he was often seen walking with a noob named Cheezit93 who had come in from Tutorial Island some time ago. Although Texan85 could never be sure that this man truly was Cheezit92 reincarnated, he took a liking to him. Cheezit93 was definitely smarter than Cheezit92 had been, and Texan85 enjoyed conversing with him.
One fine summer day in which noobs crowded the banks of the River Lum to attempt to catch trout with their hands, Texan85 went on one of his strolls. Cheezit93 lazily sauntered along beside him.
Texan85: It’s difficult to imagine elitists once controlled this land.
Cheezit93 looked contemplatively out at the landscape.
Cheezit93:They will again.
Texan85:That’s not so likely.
Texan85:At least not in the near future,
Texan85:Unless the outcasts decide to attack the mainland…
Which would never happen, Texan85 thought. Some noobs were fleeing to the outcast island as their combat level surpassed 50, but the sheer amount of noobs coming in every day from Tutorial Island easily made up for those.

28-May-2006 16:53:19 - Last edited on 28-May-2006 16:53:38 by Azure Sunday

Azure Sunday

Azure Sunday

Posts: 3,757 Adamant Posts by user Forum Profile RuneMetrics Profile
Cheezit93:I don’t think the outcasts will.
He picked up a rock and examined it.
Texan85:You think the mods will?
Cheezit93:No.
Texan85:A rogue gang?
There had been several of these gangs trying to hide from the masses and quickly train combat and noobs had made it somewhat of a sport to hunt them down.
Cheezit93 :P erhaps…
Cheezit93:But what I’m saying is that as long as there is a higher set of levels
Cheezit93:There will be tension.
He threw his rock in the air and caught it again.
Cheezit93 :P retty soon the level 30’s will be calling lower levels noobs.
Cheezit93:The pures especially.
Texan85:So what you are saying is that for our system to work,
Texan85:We’d all need to stay level 3?
Cheezit93:Well, then the outcasts would slaughter us.
Texan85:Good point.
Texan85:We’d need to take out the outcasts first.
Cheezit93:I don't know.
Cheezit93:Revolts are necessary for a people to precede,
Cheezit93:And another one will inevitably come.
Cheezit93:Even if we take out the outcasts and become level 3's,
Cheezit93:I'm sure something else would come up...
He stopped talking for a while and stared solemnly ahead, tossing his rock casually. Then he suddenly cheered up once more.
Cheezit93:Well it will be a decision for the future.
Cheezit93:As you said, for now the system is stable.
Cheezit93 threw the rock and it barely missed the head of a fisherman before splashing into the River Lum. They walked on, past the Lumbridge walls that had long ago been cleared of spikes, towards a sun that blazed fiercely in the sky overhead.
Zezima2 peered around from where his peaceful fishing had been interrupted by a rock to see the two noobs disappearing into the distance.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~THE END!~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


*Now that you have finished this story, please give me a rating. I will post these on one of the front pages.

28-May-2006 16:59:04 - Last edited on 28-May-2006 17:02:38 by Azure Sunday

Quick find code: 49-50-489-23874865 Back to Top